Author rawrrxlaurr Posted October 11, 2014 Author Posted October 11, 2014 As far as "good" vs "bad" girls, I didn't mean sexually at all. I am a great person and as good as they come, but I know how to be bad when it counts. . I meant relationship wise. The terms good and bad weren't really a good way of putting it. When I refer to a "good" girl, I mean women that show when they care, express it, are loyal and supportive.. and don't play games with their guys emotions. When I refer to a "bad" girl, I mean the type of women that don't really contribute a lot to their relationship, maybe lie, cheat... play games. Try to make their guys jealous, make the relationship all about them. I don't know, I am mostly relating this to my most recent relationship, which was about 2 and a half years. It seemed like he was so much more willing to try and do what he needed to do in order to make things work when I was so easily willing to walk away. Then when I decided to stay despite things being hard and not exactly how I wanted them to be, when I basically said "I am here for you no matter what", it's like he lost all motivation to keep me. I thought it might be more important to have a girl that will be by your side through thick and thin, but it seems more and more like guys want someone they know they could lose instead.
Gloria25 Posted October 11, 2014 Posted October 11, 2014 As far as "good" vs "bad" girls, I didn't mean sexually at all. I am a great person and as good as they come, but I know how to be bad when it counts. . I meant relationship wise. The terms good and bad weren't really a good way of putting it. When I refer to a "good" girl, I mean women that show when they care, express it, are loyal and supportive.. and don't play games with their guys emotions. When I refer to a "bad" girl, I mean the type of women that don't really contribute a lot to their relationship, maybe lie, cheat... play games. Try to make their guys jealous, make the relationship all about them. I don't know, I am mostly relating this to my most recent relationship, which was about 2 and a half years. It seemed like he was so much more willing to try and do what he needed to do in order to make things work when I was so easily willing to walk away. Then when I decided to stay despite things being hard and not exactly how I wanted them to be, when I basically said "I am here for you no matter what", it's like he lost all motivation to keep me. I thought it might be more important to have a girl that will be by your side through thick and thin, but it seems more and more like guys want someone they know they could lose instead. There's nothing wrong with being supportive, loving, and not playing games....But there's a time and place for everything. What I'm trying to say is, you can't be showering someone in your love too soon (you gotta do it in increments) and the person has to be deserving of it. If you do too much, too soon, the person might get turned off cuz you're too easy. 1
M30USA Posted October 11, 2014 Posted October 11, 2014 Answer to OP: Only after they've been burned badly and realize that, when it comes to hot/bad girls, there is "poison in the pie". If I ever make another go around, I am surely going to pick a nice girl. My grandmother used to say, "Still water runs deep."
NJ123 Posted October 11, 2014 Posted October 11, 2014 I'd rather be with a girl who is loyal & affectionate who treats me good, than to be with someone who always wants to start arguments & acts shady. If she's a bitch I wouldn't want to be with her even if she's a 10/10 in looks. Her personality would be a huge turn off & I can't stand arguing & wouldn't be able to deal with it. 1
M30USA Posted October 11, 2014 Posted October 11, 2014 There's nothing wrong with being supportive, loving, and not playing games....But there's a time and place for everything. What I'm trying to say is, you can't be showering someone in your love too soon (you gotta do it in increments) and the person has to be deserving of it. If you do too much, too soon, the person might get turned off cuz you're too easy. It's typically the unstable people (ie, borderline personality) who rush a relationship and pressure commitment prematurely. 4
preraph Posted October 11, 2014 Posted October 11, 2014 You should never give gifts of any kind until he does. It only scares the off because it feels like you're desperate and it's pressure. Gifting is a milestone of sorts. I mean, if he's having you over for a backyard barbecue, yes, it's okay to bring the potato salad, but go buying him something until he's done the equivalent to you at least once and really more than once. You can bake cookies or cook dinner for him once he's treated you to a few dates where he's paid for everything, as a thank you and show of appreciation, but no real gifts. Also, don't ever go cleaning up a guy's apartment unless you're who messed it up because that's how women get stuck living with guys who won't do any housework. You can't start that way trying to be nice to a new guy and then get made a year from then when he is taking you for granted in that regard. Don't offer to do favors like loan him your car unless he's been taking care of you in that regard. Anytime you do that, they just feel you've upped the ante and expect too much in return. And if you're honest with yourself, that's why you are doing it: in hopes he will up the ante.
Phoe Posted October 11, 2014 Posted October 11, 2014 I am a good girl, and there are guys who prefer that over a bad girl. I will say that being a good girl means nothing when it comes to sex. I have a higher sex drive than most women, want sex daily, and am very open minded sexually. If a guy passed me up instantly because I'm a good girl in public, then he seriously missed out on a very sexual girl.
Mister Zen Posted October 11, 2014 Posted October 11, 2014 Depends on what you mean by "good". I don't like the holier than thou type who is always whining about how other people are mean, or rude or immoral. I don't want to hear it. Also, don't like women who are always victims of "bad people". Don't want to hear it. I've dated a lot of bad girls because I've been dawn to their positive attitude. They're not complaining about other people because people are complaining about them. Because they're "bad" you know.... There is definitely something attractive about a woman who doesn't follow the crowd.
TigerLilly78 Posted October 11, 2014 Posted October 11, 2014 I prefer some one who has at least some sense of morels and self respect whores are a big turn off for me male or female if a guy doesn't want to take the time to get to know me then I don't make the time for sex. People who use sex like a band aid to cover other "issues" are usually not the best to get into relationships with hence I will not date anyone who imo is easy.. Its not uncommon now a days for me to take months before I even consider sex in a relationship. That said when I do get to that level of a relationship with some one I treat them like gold and value them highly.. Flat out abusers will never get the time of day from me ever again that kind of "bad boy" just needs a bullet to the head most times..
Mister Zen Posted October 11, 2014 Posted October 11, 2014 I prefer some one who has at least some sense of morels and self respect whores are a big turn off for me male or female if a guy doesn't want to take the time to get to know me then I don't make the time for sex. People who use sex like a band aid to cover other "issues" are usually not the best to get into relationships with hence I will not date anyone who imo is easy.. Its not uncommon now a days for me to take months before I even consider sex in a relationship. That said when I do get to that level of a relationship with some one I treat them like gold and value them highly.. Flat out abusers will never get the time of day from me ever again that kind of "bad boy" just needs a bullet to the head most times.. You talk about sex like its some kind of chore though. "Make the time for sex"??? Do you even enjoy it? Why is the timing of it such a big deal?
TigerLilly78 Posted October 11, 2014 Posted October 11, 2014 You talk about sex like its some kind of chore though. "Make the time for sex"??? Do you even enjoy it? Why is the timing of it such a big deal? Nope not a chore sure I enjoy it with the right person who ive taken the time to get to know and trust and formed a meaningful relationship with basically I don't do quick hookups as they serve no purpose to me and in my view sex is not something to be taken lightly thats all...
LoneIsland Posted October 11, 2014 Posted October 11, 2014 (edited) You talk about sex like its some kind of chore though. "Make the time for sex"??? Do you even enjoy it? Why is the timing of it such a big deal? Shouldn't insist someone liking it when they don't. It's easier to walk away and find someone who does like it, or at least not against it. Women are open to discuss their sexual attitudes early on, and you can decide to continue or to run based on that. It's far cheaper in time and money to cut a loss short than to hang around to change someone's mind/feelings. Edited October 11, 2014 by LoneIsland 1
Xiang Posted October 11, 2014 Posted October 11, 2014 (edited) Depends on what everyone understands is good or bad, different views all over. I want a good girl overall but be "bad" only with me, i believe you need that "bad" factor to keep things going sexually i mean...so the relationship won't be boring...sad i know, but to much comfort leads to losing attraction.(my own experience_ The saying "lady in the streets and freak in the sheets" is rather accurate. Same goes for males but people view things differently...girls like good guys that know how to be bad when needed. When most people these days use the word good guy/girl, they mean this. BOORING, pushover's no personality. Ops forgot. YES i do like good girls and so do most guys i know. Edited October 11, 2014 by Xiang
d0nnivain Posted October 11, 2014 Posted October 11, 2014 The terms good and bad weren't really a good way of putting it. When I refer to a "good" girl, I mean women that show when they care, express it, are loyal and supportive.. and don't play games with their guys emotions. When I refer to a "bad" girl, I mean the type of women that don't really contribute a lot to their relationship, maybe lie, cheat... play games. Try to make their guys jealous, make the relationship all about them. I thought it might be more important to have a girl that will be by your side through thick and thin, but it seems more and more like guys want someone they know they could lose instead. Reframe the Q. It's not about being good or bad. It's about having boundaries & self confidence. I am a good girl in the sense that I'm loyal, caring & show my affection & appreciation for my partner. But I'm no push over. If I am not getting my needs met, if I don't feel valued & respected, if I get any sense that some guy is trying to use me, I'm out the door. It's the difference between being a "nice guy" and a doormat. Nobody wants to date somebody they can walk all over who doesn't value themselves.
Emilia Posted October 11, 2014 Posted October 11, 2014 Then when I decided to stay despite things being hard and not exactly how I wanted them to be, when I basically said "I am here for you no matter what", it's like he lost all motivation to keep me. That's it. You should never ever let a man know that you will be there no matter what. It shouldn't be true, after all. Would you be there if he beat you or abused you or turned out to be an alcoholic? I hope the answer is no. 'Things being hard'. What does that mean? Maybe he was pushing you away already or he was testing you. Relationships become difficult for a reason. If a guy told me he would stick around no matter what I did, I would start losing respect for him sharpish and start to worry. That would make me question his boundaries and whether he knew what adult relationships were like and what his expectations were. It's one thing to be nice, kind and supportive while being submissive is a completely different thing. A lot of men get bored of it if they want an equal. Even if they don't want an equal they get bored with a 'yes girl'. I heard it often enough. 1
mightycpa Posted October 11, 2014 Posted October 11, 2014 As far as "good" vs "bad" girls, I didn't mean sexually at all....When I refer to a "good" girl, I mean women that show when they care, express it, are loyal and supportive.. and don't play games with their guys emotions. When I refer to a "bad" girl, I mean the type of women that don't really contribute a lot to their relationship, maybe lie, cheat... play games. Try to make their guys jealous, make the relationship all about them. Oh, you mean good girls vs. the ****ty ones! I thought it might be more important to have a girl that will be by your side through thick and thin, but it seems more and more like guys want someone they know they could lose instead. That really depends on what "thin" is. If it means that the world has turned against you, and you need the support of a good woman to help you over the hump, I'd say you're wrong, or maybe you gave the wrong support. Emotional support is not always helpful. But if "thin" means the way you communicate or get along or your interpersonal interactions, then I think it is just a matter of time before someone who changes for you falls back into his natural state, no matter how hard he's willing to work at it. Sometimes it just gets too hard, and the cost is too high. 1
MrNate 2.0 Posted October 11, 2014 Posted October 11, 2014 I like em bad. But we already knew that, didn't we?
MrNate 2.0 Posted October 11, 2014 Posted October 11, 2014 To make things fun, I say we should define a good girl and bad girl as well.
Woggle Posted October 11, 2014 Posted October 11, 2014 The OP just needs to go for more mature men who have interesting lives. The kind of people who need drama in order to feel passion and excitement are actually boring. If that is your only way to have an interesting life or the only thing that makes you feel alive then you must be a very dull person. 3
preraph Posted October 11, 2014 Posted October 11, 2014 Depends on what everyone understands is good or bad, different views all over. I want a good girl overall but be "bad" only with me, i believe you need that "bad" factor to keep things going sexually i mean...so the relationship won't be boring...sad i know, but to much comfort leads to losing attraction.(my own experience_ The saying "lady in the streets and freak in the sheets" is rather accurate. Same goes for males but people view things differently...girls like good guys that know how to be bad when needed. When most people these days use the word good guy/girl, they mean this. BOORING, pushover's no personality. Ops forgot. YES i do like good girls and so do most guys i know. So are you saying you think women who enjoy sex are "bad girls"?? Or are you just saying you don't want a women who shoplifts, farts or picks her nose in public but who will nonetheless have sex with you and maybe pick her nose and/or fart afterward in the privacy of your bedroom? I hope you're not saying you want a woman to pretend not to like sex but secretly like it, or the reverse, pretends to like sex but secretly doesn't but acquiesces to it anyway, because that would be indicative of a pathologic problem on both sides.
Mister Zen Posted October 11, 2014 Posted October 11, 2014 Shouldn't insist someone liking it when they don't. It's easier to walk away and find someone who does like it, or at least not against it. Women are open to discuss their sexual attitudes early on, and you can decide to continue or to run based on that. It's far cheaper in time and money to cut a loss short than to hang around to change someone's mind/feelings. I learned that a long time ago. Seek what you want, rather than trying to mold people into what you want.
Tayken Posted October 11, 2014 Posted October 11, 2014 Do guys really want a good girl? The answer is a succinct YES! There is no two ways about that men (not boys) prefer a "a good woman", the kind that their parents / grandparents will approve. A good woman is also more likely to be a rational type who is not going to be irrational during talks, issues, and other dealings. Your question akin to the which type of woman do men prefer : Blondes or others? Most men prefer Brunettes / dark hair for LTR, as opposed to Blondes. I am in the former camp, always have been. I mean most Blondes are peroxide Blondes anyway, and that just raises a flag that this person is not confident with their looks i.e. low self esteem/drama.
TigerLilly78 Posted October 11, 2014 Posted October 11, 2014 Shouldn't insist someone liking it when they don't. It's easier to walk away and find someone who does like it, or at least not against it. Women are open to discuss their sexual attitudes early on, and you can decide to continue or to run based on that. It's far cheaper in time and money to cut a loss short than to hang around to change someone's mind/feelings. The thing is people can "like it" but just not "need it" the way some do in today's world lets face it sex really has no more meaning then a hand shake in many's eyes anymore dose it? and to me thats sad its suppose to be something shared between two people who care for each other agreed tho everyone's free to make their own decisions and find people who are compatible with their wants needs..
ThaWholigan Posted October 11, 2014 Posted October 11, 2014 A guy wants a girl who's good for him. When young, he may not know what that is, just yet. 3
Author rawrrxlaurr Posted October 11, 2014 Author Posted October 11, 2014 That's it. You should never ever let a man know that you will be there no matter what. It shouldn't be true, after all. Would you be there if he beat you or abused you or turned out to be an alcoholic? I hope the answer is no. 'Things being hard'. What does that mean? Maybe he was pushing you away already or he was testing you. Relationships become difficult for a reason. If a guy told me he would stick around no matter what I did, I would start losing respect for him sharpish and start to worry. That would make me question his boundaries and whether he knew what adult relationships were like and what his expectations were. It's one thing to be nice, kind and supportive while being submissive is a completely different thing. A lot of men get bored of it if they want an equal. Even if they don't want an equal they get bored with a 'yes girl'. I heard it often enough. Yeah. I definitely get where you're coming from. I definitely have my boundaries and things I won't stand for in a relationship. I am not a doormat, but I supported my boyfriend for four months while he was unemployed thinking that was what I should do because I loved him. I realize now it hurt my relationship more than it ever helped. 1
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