Why the Need of Labels?

[frozengirl]

Well I talked to the guy I have been dating for the past month. And I again wanted to be sure he was still interested in dating and was looking for a relationship.

 

His response was "Yes. If you are". I of course replied with "Yes".

 

I had then asked him if we could move things to the next level and us become a couple and his response was "Hmmm... Do we need labels... I mean it is sort of unnecessary."

 

Me personally I have always liked using the Boyfriend/Girlfriend label or in internet terms, changing your status to "In a relationship" on various websites.

 

But by this guys answer to me I am hearing "I don't want to be labeled, and I want to see other people and not tell no one you are my girlfriend".

 

Well maybe I wanted us label ourselves on social media like many other couples do? What are your thoughts on this topic.

[Keenly]

Well I talked to the guy I have been dating for the past month. And I again wanted to be sure he was still interested in dating and was looking for a relationship.

 

His response was "Yes. If you are". I of course replied with "Yes".

 

I had then asked him if we could move things to the next level and us become a couple and his response was "Hmmm... Do we need labels... I mean it is sort of unnecessary."

 

Me personally I have always liked using the Boyfriend/Girlfriend label or in internet terms, changing your status to "In a relationship" on various websites.

 

But by this guys answer to me I am hearing "I don't want to be labeled, and I want to see other people and not tell no one you are my girlfriend".

 

Well maybe I wanted us label ourselves on social media like many other couples do? What are your thoughts on this topic.

 

If your number one motivation for being in a relationship is changing your status on social media, why not just change it without being in one?

[sdrawkcaB ssA]

I don't mind labels, unless they are the ones that stick out or are itchy, and make you look like your constantly checking for loose toilet paper. :\

 

Actually when a guy does not like being labeled, it means he is not serious. As a label should be accepted unless it is Jackass or something. I have accepted weird and strange, but could not accept cheating bastard when they were being serious.

[d0nnivain]

It depends on how fast.

 

When I was younger, I hated the labels. They made me feel trapped.

 

As I aged, I still wanted to ease into it but I still needed assurances of exclusivity before intimacy.

[mightycpa]

I don't remember who wrote this recently, but the label allows you to append the possessive word "my" right in front of that label.

 

As in, "he is my boyfriend"

 

Tell him that's why the label is necessary... so that nobody gets confused about the boundaries of the relationship.

[frozengirl]

I don't remember who wrote this recently, but the label allows you to append the possessive word "my" right in front of that label.

 

As in, "he is my boyfriend"

 

Tell him that's why the label is necessary... so that nobody gets confused about the boundaries of the relationship.

 

I don't know maybe it's not a good idea to have the labels after all, I don't know now, this just feels weird. I've never had my exs have an issue like this sort of thing.

[Elias33]

I don't mind labels, unless they are the ones that stick out or are itchy, and make you look like your constantly checking for loose toilet paper. :\

 

Actually when a guy does not like being labeled, it means he is not serious. As a label should be accepted unless it is Jackass or something. I have accepted weird and strange, but could not accept cheating bastard when they were being serious.

 

Well said. The response by itself is bizarre. If those are the first words out of his mouth, then prepare to accept, he doesn't want that kind of relationship.

[mightycpa]

I don't know maybe it's not a good idea to have the labels after all, I don't know now, this just feels weird. I've never had my exs have an issue like this sort of thing.

 

If I may be so bold and rude as to ask, how old are you, frozengirl?

[pteromom]

He may just not be ready for those labels yet. Doesn't mean that he isn't interested in a relationship or wants to see other people. Just means he wants to ease in.

 

Don't push it yet.

 

Right now the main thing is being on the same page with exclusivity. If he is sleeping with other people, you have a right to know that so you can be extra-dligigent with keeping yourself safe.

[frozengirl]

He may just not be ready for those labels yet. Doesn't mean that he isn't interested in a relationship or wants to see other people. Just means he wants to ease in.

 

Don't push it yet.

 

Right now the main thing is being on the same page with exclusivity. If he is sleeping with other people, you have a right to know that so you can be extra-dligigent with keeping yourself safe.

 

That's the thing when he posted his profile online, he was looking for a relationship and to date and when he met me, he wasn't interested in any other girl, and again did want a relationship.

 

To me I thought 1 month of dating would be enough time to then consider us a couple but he told me this.

 

Again I have had ex's who became my Boyfriend after a few dates or even 1-2 weeks or a month of dating and they didn't mind the label. I still don't know what to make of this whole thing.

[sdrawkcaB ssA]

Well said. The response by itself is bizarre. If those are the first words out of his mouth, then prepare to accept, he doesn't want that kind of relationship.

 

Thank you, most may not see things so easy when I poke fun along with being serious.

 

I never found boyfriend so difficult to handle, and even admired it when I was not interested in dating. So, I took what I hear younger women say I don't want to be a girlfriend when talking about relationships with their peers. Men can be the same way. As long as you think I am your mate, that is OK with me just don't tell my friends.

[WhatIsLove2014]

He may just not be ready for those labels yet. Doesn't mean that he isn't interested in a relationship or wants to see other people. Just means he wants to ease in.

 

Don't push it yet.

 

Right now the main thing is being on the same page with exclusivity. If he is sleeping with other people, you have a right to know that so you can be extra-dligigent with keeping yourself safe.

 

I agree. I feel like as long as you are on the same page about what's going on. you can always call him your boyfriend in your head lol that's what I do.

[mightycpa]

He may just not be ready for those labels yet. Doesn't mean that he isn't interested in a relationship or wants to see other people. Just means he wants to ease in.

 

Don't push it yet.

 

Right now the main thing is being on the same page with exclusivity. If he is sleeping with other people, you have a right to know that so you can be extra-dligigent with keeping yourself safe.

 

I agree. I feel like as long as you are on the same page about what's going on. you can always call him your boyfriend in your head lol that's what I do.

 

 

 

Yeah, I don't buy that at all! Observe:

 

 

PAL: Hey Rupert, how's it going?

HIM: Great.

PAL: You still going out with that girl?

HIM: Oh yeah, she's really nice. She's so cool, she's FROZEN. She's my FROZENGIRL.

PAL: Yeah, whatever. You bangin' her?

HIM: All the time. She's an animal. I got extra lucky with this one.

PAL: What about Matilda? You still seeing her?

HIM: Nope. It's just me and the new one. I like this one.

PAL: Is she seeing anybody else?

HIM: Nope. We talked about that too.

PAL: Well then, congratulations on the new girlfriend

HIM: WHOA! Hold your horses! Who said anything about girlfriend?

PAL: But you said you're only seeing her?

HIM: Right.

PAL: And she's only seeing you?

HIM: Yessir.

PAL: And you're banging her?

HIM: Check.

PAL: But she's not your girlfriend?

HIM: Correct-a-mundo.

PAL: Hmm. Does she know that?

 

Such a proposition is ridiculous.

[frozengirl]

He may just not be ready for those labels yet. Doesn't mean that he isn't interested in a relationship or wants to see other people. Just means he wants to ease in.

 

Don't push it yet.

 

Right now the main thing is being on the same page with exclusivity. If he is sleeping with other people, you have a right to know that so you can be extra-dligigent with keeping yourself safe.

 

Isn't asking him if he's sleeping or dating other people rude?

[WhatIsLove2014]

Yeah, I don't buy that at all! Observe:

 

 

 

Such a proposition is ridiculous.

 

You make a good point. I stand corrected.

[WhatIsLove2014]

Isn't asking him if he's sleeping or dating other people rude?

 

Um no! You need to ask.

[mightycpa]

Um no! You need to ask.

Of course you can/should ask. I'm surprised that didn't come up already.

[WhatIsLove2014]

But I guess another question would be is he not ready for the label or he doesn't believe in labels at all?

 

If he doesn't believe at all, then that would be problem.

 

But if he isn't ready, well then he should just say that. Either way, its a red flag.

[frozengirl]

But I guess another question would be is he not ready for the label or he doesn't believe in labels at all?

 

If he doesn't believe at all, then that would be problem.

 

But if he isn't ready, well then he should just say that. Either way, its a red flag.

 

Thats the thing he has used the In a Relationship or Girlfriend label before I saw it on his social media profiles. And he even told me he has had ex-girlfriends and previous relationships so I don't know why he's saying this now.

[mightycpa]

he even told me he has had ex-girlfriends and previous relationships

 

Maybe in his mind, there is a distinction. For example, I had an FWB, and we had a relationship, but she was never my girlfriend. Also, when I dated multiple girls at the same time, I had relationships with all of them, but I would never introduce any of them as my girlfriend, or even "a" girlfriend.

 

But when I had an exclusive relationship with a girl, the label came with the territory.

 

So maybe you don't have what you think you have. It could be that simple.

 

I say you need to talk about it. How old did you say you are?

[Gaeta]

Thats the thing he has used the In a Relationship or Girlfriend label before I saw it on his social media profiles. And he even told me he has had ex-girlfriends and previous relationships so I don't know why he's saying this now.

 

He is not that into you. Sorry for the cliché but it's the truth. The men that were really interested in me asked for exclusivity between 3 to 5 dates.

 

If you had completely captured his attention the way he captured yours he would make sure you are OFF the dating market! Also, him saying he's not ready to be exclusive means he wants to be shopping around, we know that, but it also means he is OK with YOU still shopping around! A man that is REMOTELY interested in you would NOT want you out with other dudes and risk losing his fair chance with you.

[frozengirl]

Thats what I want, I want us to be an official couple and neither of us date any other person and for when we introduce ourselves to someone we can say "This is my girlfriend" or "this is my boyfriend".

[frozengirl]

I had told him in regards to his "Hmmm... Do we need labels... I mean it is sort of unnecessary" remark I had told him this

 

"Well I thought, you had wanted us to be official, are you seeing other people and you don't want to be tied down yet? You can tell me if you are."

 

He replies with

 

"All I'm saying is I'm not overthinking it....We are together whether or not we have a title".

 

So now what? I don't get it.

[Michelle ma Belle]

Personally, I think the writing is on the wall with this guy.

 

You asked the question and he gave you his answer; no. What more do you need to know about this guy?

 

If labels are important to you then you shouldn't settle for anything less. You'll only end up getting hurt or made a fool of in the end.

 

There are plenty of men who are very comfortable with labels especially when they've found someone they want to be with exclusively.

 

Unless you're fine with waiting around until he feels ready to officially address you as HIS girlfriend, I wouldn't waste any more time with him. Save your dignity and move on.

 

Plenty of fish in the sea

[frozengirl]

Did you not read what I just posted haha.