Author jchow06 Posted October 11, 2014 Author Posted October 11, 2014 Ok great, I was just hoping not to kill any momentum built up, in those 10 days but I figure we'll be keeping in touch over that time and it'll just build up the actual date even more.
writergal Posted October 11, 2014 Posted October 11, 2014 10 days isn't that bad. Sounds like it naturally happened so that's good! You can definitely use the time to call each other and text/email to keep your mutual attraction simmering/building until your next date. And you can pace yourself from there. So, it sounds good!
acrosstheuniverse Posted October 11, 2014 Posted October 11, 2014 Anyways so date #3 was supposed to be this evening, I actually semi-cancelled, we were supposed to go on an outdoor date tonight and I thought I'd make a little move (not sex just some making out etc.) while we were cuddled up having had that great first kiss down already. Checked the weather forecast and saw thunderstorms in the area for the evening so I texted her letting her know and maybe to reschedule another time. I maybe saw a different side, perhaps she is wary because you cancelled on her so wants to put a bit of distance between you and slow things down, hence the telling you she's not free until next Friday. If a guy cancelled on me because of the weather I would be put off as I'd have set the night aside for the date and been looking forward to it. I'd at least expect a reschedule as in 'it's raining like crazy, perhaps we could do something indoors tonight instead'. But anyway, ten days isn't too much. There were ten days between mine and my now boyfriend's first and second or second a third (I can't really remember) date, but he asked me to see him two consecutive nights when we both eventually were free ('when are you free next week?' 'so far, it's looking like I'm free Thursday and Friday' 'Great, I'll see you both' which we laugh about now, he says in retrospect he never realised it could seem too eager, I was so into him I was just thrilled that I was going to get to see him two days on the trot after not seeing him for ten days!). However the reason for those ten days was that there were literally plans for either or both of us on every single day/night in between so it was the earliest we could have done. If we'd have been free any earlier we wouldn't have waited that long. I had to cancel once as I got put onto a work shift at late notice but he was fine with it as I made the effort to get together with him, once even meeting up at 11pm after work just to go for drinks. Try to play it at least a little cool in those ten days OP, no games just don't be messaging her every five minutes. During the first few weeks of dating I think we averaged maybe three-five texts a day each which was really nice because a) we knew each other was still interested but b) there was space to breathe still. I've dated guys who've been texting a hundred texts an hour from the first week and although I replied and was half to blame, they definitely set that pace and it was exhausting in the end, and I got bored of it all very quickly.
Author jchow06 Posted October 11, 2014 Author Posted October 11, 2014 I maybe saw a different side, perhaps she is wary because you cancelled on her so wants to put a bit of distance between you and slow things down, hence the telling you she's not free until next Friday. If a guy cancelled on me because of the weather I would be put off as I'd have set the night aside for the date and been looking forward to it. I'd at least expect a reschedule as in 'it's raining like crazy, perhaps we could do something indoors tonight instead'. But anyway, ten days isn't too much. There were ten days between mine and my now boyfriend's first and second or second a third (I can't really remember) date, but he asked me to see him two consecutive nights when we both eventually were free ('when are you free next week?' 'so far, it's looking like I'm free Thursday and Friday' 'Great, I'll see you both' which we laugh about now, he says in retrospect he never realised it could seem too eager, I was so into him I was just thrilled that I was going to get to see him two days on the trot after not seeing him for ten days!). However the reason for those ten days was that there were literally plans for either or both of us on every single day/night in between so it was the earliest we could have done. If we'd have been free any earlier we wouldn't have waited that long. I had to cancel once as I got put onto a work shift at late notice but he was fine with it as I made the effort to get together with him, once even meeting up at 11pm after work just to go for drinks. Try to play it at least a little cool in those ten days OP, no games just don't be messaging her every five minutes. During the first few weeks of dating I think we averaged maybe three-five texts a day each which was really nice because a) we knew each other was still interested but b) there was space to breathe still. I've dated guys who've been texting a hundred texts an hour from the first week and although I replied and was half to blame, they definitely set that pace and it was exhausting in the end, and I got bored of it all very quickly. Yeah I thought about that in hindsight, why didn't I just schedule a dinner date or something inside instead of trying to reschedule for the weekend like I tried. I think I was so set on this Friday, I'm a stickler for planning things out for a date, that I wanted THAT specific date to happen and rather would have rescheduled that date to happen instead of spontaneously changing it to something else. Well like they say hindsight is 20/20. At the very lest she's still excited about next Friday 1
Author jchow06 Posted October 11, 2014 Author Posted October 11, 2014 What do you guys think a quick text everyday just to check up and at the very least show I'm still interested despite the cancellation or play it cool and maybe every other day?
writergal Posted October 11, 2014 Posted October 11, 2014 What do you guys think a quick text everyday just to check up and at the very least show I'm still interested despite the cancellation or play it cool and maybe every other day? Just be yourself. Text her when you want to. If you want to text her every day sure why not? Don't play games. That's the worst thing you could do. Why would you play it cool? You already know you like each other.
Elle1975 Posted October 11, 2014 Posted October 11, 2014 To me you're going way too fast. Do the whole Saturday dinner in a week from today. Fire burns too hot too fast, no good.
acrosstheuniverse Posted October 11, 2014 Posted October 11, 2014 Text her daily if you want to! If a guy didn't even so much as shoot me a text each day on most days when most people are glued to their phones I would presume he wasn't hugely interested or was busy texting others. Doesn't have to be twenty texts a day, but definitely check in.
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