How do you deal with the bad days?

[Mevi]

Hey.

 

I've posted on here a few times in the past month or two regarding my breakup. It happened around 3-4 months ago (honestly it's a bit of a haze so I'm not even sure when exactly) and obviously crushed me.

I'm doing better now, not as bad as I was at first - focusing on myself and working on improving myself too. Have lost a significant amount of weight which I'm very happy about and just generally feel better.

 

However, now and again I'll have one of...those days. You know, when you just feel awful about the breakup, when all the emotions come flooding back and that dam you built feels like it might just shatter. I can't stop thinking about her, and even though I try to tell myself how stupid it is and think about all the bad things, none of it matters.

 

The things that have worked thus far seem to have lost their power, and again I'm back to feeling like I did right after it all started. While I know this is temporary, the day or two that I feel this is still obviously horrendous.

So, I'm curious what you guys and gals do when these days hit you. Any advice would be hugely appreciated. Thanks.

[btc8]

Honestly, and this doesn't work for everyone, but what I found is to let yourself dwell on the feeling for a limited amount of time. For example, if I'm having a bad day, I'll say, "I will just let myself think about my past relationship with X for Y minutes."

 

And let yourself think about EVERYTHING about the relationship for that period of time (ideally, short time, like 10 or 20 minutes): the good, the bad, the ugly. But once that time has finished, you make no more time for it throughout the day.

 

Let yourself do this everyday. Eventually, you will find yourself shortening the time you dedicate to thinking about your past relationship less and less. This works better after the initial onset, and it allows you to feel emotion, and to process it, but only for a limited time.

 

It works for me, but it may not work for everyone. This is a popular form of CBT for those with OCD like tendencies (like me).

[Tayken]

@OP...the key is to surround yourself with positivity. Do not allow yourself to be idle, which has the tendency to take you back to that dark place. Occupy your time with stuff that will clear your mind.

 

Out of sight, out of mind..easily said than done, but possible.

[travelbug1996]

Feel your feelings. They're just feelings and they eventually pass as long as you don't try to suppress them. You're human and its gonna take time and distance.