7 months after breakup and I still miss her very much.

[LostinFlorida]

Okay, here's my situation. I been single for 7 months now and I'm still missing her.

She broke it off with me. We were in a relationship and living together for 2 and a half years.

We hads lots of problems throughout our time together.

To start with, she was my affair partner.

I was married when I started messing around with her.

Things got very serious quickly.

3 months into our affair, my wife was getting suspicious and

I had to tell her the truth.

I left my wife for this other woman.

The grass was greeener on this side.

I felt guilty for a long time. I still feel guilty.

That was one of the things that kept me from putting my 100 percent in this new relationship. The main problem about us is that I didn't trust her.

See, in the beginning while we were in the affair, she got drunk

with her ex boyfriend and slept with him.

That bothered me even though I was married.

Then when I was going through my break up with my wife,

I was with my girlfriend for a few days and I decided to leave her

and see if I can make things work with my wife.

So I broke her heart and left her crying.

I went back to my wife which she was still mad at me.

We didn't talk or anything for the night and I suddenly felt

bad about my girlfriend so I went back to her the next day.

Little did I know, she slept with her ex boyfriend again the same night

I left her.

So that broke me.

I should have stayed away from her from that point on.

Well, two weeks later, we got back together.

I started living with her.

I forgave her for that night with her ex cause technically we were broken up.

But, deep inside me, I couldn't let it go.

She wrote a letter saying goodbye to all of her three exes.

And she promised to be with me.

And she never broke that promise.

She treated me good throughout the relationship but

I couldn't trust her.

She was flirty with her coworkers and that always bothered me.

We had fights over my trust issues.

I was also bothered with her big sexual past.

My jealousy caused things to get really bad.

I would look on her phone for evidence every single day.

I would fight with her over every little thing.

2 and a half years and she finally had enough.

We broke up and within 3 weeks after the break up, she decided to put

in her resignation at work so she can leave the city as soon as possible.

She wanted to be friends but there was no way

I could be friends with her because I still had feelings for her.

We fought after the break up until we both finally sent each other goodbye emails.

She left the city 2 months after the break up.

We never spoke to each other again.

My heart feels empty. Feeling lonely.

I tried dating other girls but my mind is still on her.

Why can't I just accept that this was a bad relationship?

She had every right to leave.

Why am I not over her?

I'm keeping myself busy with hobbies and friends and meeting new people

but my mind is still on her.

I feel very bad that I couldn't trust her.

I miss her greatly. I just wish I knew that she misses me too.

I need some feedback from people who have gone through this.

Should I write her how I feel? I feel like I shouldn't. She was the one that left.

She should be the one to try to contact me even if we said goodbye.

Even though we both had our issues during our relationship, it was mostly my mistakes and my fault that it didn't work. She claimed that I was the love of her life.

Am I just obssessing over this?

Any feedback would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you!

[SoThatHappened]

Yeeesh. This story was like a NASCAR race as far as turns for the worse go.

 

You can't help what the heart wants, believe me I know. However, this was an ill-fated relationship from the get-go.

 

She got fed up and dumped you. She's also taken some big steps to separate herself from you and the situation. She's implemented No Contact and you would do well to respect that.

 

If you think contacting her will iron things out, just remember that you may get completely shot down and feel even worse.

 

Time for you to work on yourself. I recommend doing everything you can to improve your life, (physically/mentally/emotionally). Then, once you have a level head, decide from there.

 

If you get back into a relationship with her now, nothing will have changed and you'll have another outcome similar to this one.

[mightycpa]

You haven't learned a frigging thing from all of this, have you OP?

[hazy_shade_of_grey]

STH is right, focus on you. Have you addressed the insecurities and trust issues? Until that is resolved they will continue to reappear in any future

relationship you have. Continue to respect the NC, don't reach out to her

regardless of how you feel.

 

Actions speak louder than words, she'd come back if she really wanted you.

[Frank2thepoint]

You cheated on your wife, and you are the one that has trust issues?

 

I feel sorry for your wife/ex-wife. I hope she heals, and learns to trust again.

[LostinFlorida]

Thank you all! I am working on myself. I have my good days and my bad days. This morning was bad because after exercising I had a moment of weakness. Luckily, it passed after a few hours. She didn't want to do NC. She wanted to be friends. But, it was me that pushed for NC because I needed my space to get over her. That just made her more mad. I'm taking it one day at a time.

 

As for my ex wife, since we have a kid together, we became friends after a while. I put her in much pain and after 1 and a half years, she became better and more happy. I'm always there to help her out. I just don't have the romantic feelings for her anymore. I cheated on her and the guilt still eats me up. But, I'm paying for it now. Karma!

[travelbug1996]

Its always best to end one relationship before starting another. And don't get involved with people who are already in relationships. Hope you get well soon.

[darocksin2]

Hello LostinFlorida, I can understand how hard and confusing things are for you right now. Have you sought any professional help yet? I believe a good counselor or therapist might be able to help you deal with your emotions in a better way. Praying for you!!!

 

 

Rb