Cressida Posted December 20, 2014 Share Posted December 20, 2014 7 years we have been in this relationship. I have been there to lean on when he was going thru difficult times losing his parents. I did it because I wanted to and I thought that was the type of relationship that we had. Things flipped and now it is my turn. My mom passed. Our relationship is deteriorating. He is no longer there fore me. He got over physical challenges by having surgery and now he has "so many things to do" that he couldnt do before. Im mad at myself that I have been so so stupid and put myself in this situation. My life is shifting in ways that I dont like anymore and I dont have the strength to pull them back and make new things. I wish I never would have met him and never had started this friendship with them which led to the relationship. A man that I once viewed as importnant t me now appears to be a selfish self-centered man. He was that man before. Perhaps this is what happens in all relationship when you get too comfortable and take people for granted. I am so very close to ending this for my own sanity, yet I still struggle. The worst part is when we realize that they never were who we thought they were...but a mere projection of what we wanted them to be. Or on their best behavior, because they thought we were worth it at some point...but then things changed. This is how it went for me and exMM, and that's when I started seeing that we wouldn't be happy together...his behavior was telling me that to him, I just wasn't worth the effort at times... I am sorry to hear about your mom's passing, you must be going through hell and I really sympathize with you. It's a shame a person you considered a friend and a part of your life couldn't or wouldn't be there for you. Stay strong... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
jellybean89 Posted December 20, 2014 Share Posted December 20, 2014 Rinse, lather repeat. Same thing, no changes made. At this point Blue, just embrace it as you truly have no desire to end it. Link to post Share on other sites
Cressida Posted December 21, 2014 Share Posted December 21, 2014 I think it's not that the person reminiscing about their past relationship doesn't want for it to end...they just want the pain to stop, and don't understand what it was that made their lover act in certain ways... Saying that he's married is the correct answer, but it's just a part of it...and that's when people begin slowly losing themselves and sinking into suffering, self-esteem issues, terrible pain, eating disorders, confusion.... I hope time and self-discipline will help you just as it helped me. Nobody deserves to mistreat someone and walk away with it, whoever they may be. Nobody. In some cases they need to be taught a lesson.... Link to post Share on other sites
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