roe007 Posted October 9, 2014 Posted October 9, 2014 last week my ex send me a message out of nowhere saying she is smoking weed. i asked her about it she sent me astonned picture and i felt bad about it. she was in some city far away from home with some stonner guy. i never messeged her before and i was in no contact till then. she was planning to go to another place famous for such rave party and asked me money. well i tried to reason with her to stop the drug and return home we had a fight and she blocked me. two days after i thought hard and fast about what to do i informed her brother. i told him to keep things between us but he told me he already doubted and was waiting for confirmation. i was surprised to know that she left house lying to her mother about were she was going and her mother was worried so much. so after that they bought her home and she is totally furious at me It is a bit complicated because she is someone I grew up with we had a lot of memories as good child hood friend. Then after the relationship it was worse. Our parents are good friends as well and we meet sometimes during family get together. I told her brother about it because I don't want to see her abusing drugs and after a week now she said I am her biggest mistake. Well I am not worried about that but all I wanted was her good health. I never contacted her before and this was something she did voluntarily. She is like someone in my family and all I thought was about her mother and father. Her mother called me up to thank me and she was crying on phone saying how she has changed and all that. She is young and she has a good future. she said to her mom that i was proposing her for marriage and she told me she smoke to make me hate her and stop pursuing her. i admit i love her but i was totally on no contact for past three months until she decided to tell me she is smoking. i don't want to be a jerk going behind her when she walked off. but now she says i am the biggest mistake happened to her but why should she send me such pictures and messages if she want to get rid of me. i am already not talking to her or keeping any contact. i want to know if what i did was right? telling her brother the info i got so that she might be saved from becoming a drug addict?
Zahara Posted October 9, 2014 Posted October 9, 2014 i want to know if what i did was right? telling her brother the info i got so that she might be saved from becoming a drug addict? In your heart, you did the right thing because you care and want the best for her. There is no wrong in what you did but her reaction to it is not surprising because now she's been called out. So, she's going to react negatively to you. She probably didn't think you'd go as far as getting her family involved. The other thing is that you can't save her. She has to want that for herself and she has to find her own way, with the help of her family. You have to protect yourself by stepping away from the situation. She now has family to support her. You did your part, now move on.
Author roe007 Posted October 9, 2014 Author Posted October 9, 2014 I know I can't save her but I am just sad that we would never get along even as friends in future. It is odd but it bugs me because we had something like friendship from way back and I informed her brother because of that connection too. Now that she is blaming me for loss of her happiness and saying she don't trust me anymore. I don't know... I don't want her to trust or even come back and be friendly or anything but I just feel sick that things turned out to be like this.
Zahara Posted October 9, 2014 Posted October 9, 2014 I know I can't save her but I am just sad that we would never get along even as friends in future. It is odd but it bugs me because we had something like friendship from way back and I informed her brother because of that connection too. Now that she is blaming me for loss of her happiness and saying she don't trust me anymore. I don't know... I don't want her to trust or even come back and be friendly or anything but I just feel sick that things turned out to be like this. You were childhood friends and as you grow you choose a path and the path that she has chosen is one that doesn't help nurture what you once had with her. The dynamics have changed. You just have to accept that it is what it is. Unfortunately, nothing stays the same.
Author roe007 Posted October 24, 2014 Author Posted October 24, 2014 I got this weird threat messages from her today. Saying I am a f**ker and my family is spoiled don't come anywhere near here family and all that. I thought I helped her and I stayed away for good. She is really acting like a 3 year old. I don't think it is a good idea to explain my intentions and care for her but I don't know what to do really. Her reason was I tried to propose to her again and that is why she told me she was using drugs. But I don't talk to her at all and she was the one who told what she was doing and with whom she was. I felt it is wrong to use drugs when she is going through a crisis.That is why i told her brother so he could do something about it. Now she comes and accuses my family and me for ruining her happiness which is really bad. She also told that I haven't seen the world blah blah. Is she trying to put blame on others? Or is it my mistake?
lawbstar Posted October 24, 2014 Posted October 24, 2014 To me, it does sound like she is trying to put blame on others, and the others are you and your family. Like you said, she really is acting like a 3 year old. From what you have posted, I do not see anything wrong with what you did. I respect what you did because, like others have said, you were just looking out for her health. She should definitely not be trying to target you and your family even though she may have negative feelings towards you at this moment for protecting her by telling her family about her drug incident.
Zahara Posted October 24, 2014 Posted October 24, 2014 Is she trying to put blame on others? Or is it my mistake? People like her will always put the blame on everybody else but themselves. They take zero accountability. You didn't make a mistake. You did the right thing and you walked away. Keep it that way and for your own benefit -- block her and stop being accessible to her communication.
Author roe007 Posted November 15, 2014 Author Posted November 15, 2014 I have discussed it here before but right now I feel so low that's why I am writing and asking for support. My ex once texted saying she is smoking weed which I couldn't take it. I loved her and my idea of her smoking weed with some guy was not that appealing. I hinted her brother because the girl I loved (my ex) was against smoking and I thought she needed help. I was out of her life but I did what I thought was good for her. Did I do something uncool or something? I mean she could have went on with her life instead of telling me things like these but she never stopped pestering me and she knows I haven't moved on or anything. Anyway she is furious and she made a twisted story that she lied to make me go away. I was not behind her or anything I just maintained the no contact until she texted me saying she is stonning. I don't know how to calm my mind now because I feel I have made her mad. Her mom called me and thanked a lot though because she went away from home without their knowledge to some other city and stayed with some stonner guy and her mom was all crying till I called her about the news so she was so grateful and all that. I don't know what to make of my reaction I genuinely wanted her life to be good that's all and she had unresolved issues. I am not against smoking but I strongly believe we should smoke when we are happy then we are not masking our sadness. But she was taunting me for a while. Did I do the right thing?
Simon Phoenix Posted November 15, 2014 Posted November 15, 2014 No, you didn't do the right thing in telling on your ex. You need to stay out of her life and let her make her own decisions. And you should block her so she can't "taunt" you.
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