Chuck636333 Posted October 9, 2014 Posted October 9, 2014 So my gf left me again...says she was unhappy but its more than that..its the ways she leaves...it seems she needs to make me a villain to everyone around her including her parents ( I'm assuming to get support Idk). But 1 year ago we had a huge drunken fight break up that was pretty bad so after trying to beg her back for the first week and a half to get heartless cold responses I just gave up and gave her space so that I could move on (thinking it was over forever this time) 1 month went by and she called begging me back saying it was a mistake and she was sorry...1 year later here we are again its been 1 week nc, and I'm wondering if its going to be the same thing again considering I am not perfect but very good to her and very loving... a couple things to add I've had a rough 4 months financially which is about to turn around and gained some weight which is a month into the process of coming off...we were together 7 years I'm 26 she's 25 no kids except one I had when I was young that adores her...mind you before the last breakup that she came chasing any other time before that I was chasing calling at her door begging so last time probably came as a shock
sdrawkcaB ssA Posted October 9, 2014 Posted October 9, 2014 Things like this look pathetic, mainly because I have seen, and lived with it. All it does is eat at you and your time. Hopes and expectations only cloud judgement. Go after what you really want in life, it is easier and does not consume you in obtaining it. Just it will take a bit longer to obtain. 1
hazy_shade_of_grey Posted October 9, 2014 Posted October 9, 2014 Is she going to come back? It's unclear, she may not even know. You have to move forward as though she is not. Do you sit back waiting or hoping. That will only prolong your healing and torment you. I know this is going to be difficult since she has a history of coming back, but tou have to let go and accept this is it. Something I'm still coming to terms with myself.
Author Chuck636333 Posted October 9, 2014 Author Posted October 9, 2014 That's just the thing her doing that the last time was a shock to me...I assumed it was over....but now that its happened before no matter how much I try to tell myself she won't I can't ditch that thought of ( o there's a chance) wish I could hit erase
Tayken Posted October 9, 2014 Posted October 9, 2014 a couple things to add I've had a rough 4 months financially which is about to turn around and gained some weight which is a month into the process of coming off...we were together 7 years I'm 26 she's 25 no kids except one I had when I was young that adores her @OP...sorry to hear about your situation, but ask yourself this...do you not deserve better i.e. someone that wants and loves not just you, but your child also vice versa? What you need right now is to focus on the improvements you are making in life, that will help boost your self esteem and confidence. Refrain from enabling this behaviour by this girl...YOU CAN DO BETTER! I mean you don't even know where she is going, what she is doing, and what she is bringing back to you...you have a child to think about in the grand scheme of things. Put your foot down, and consider this a lost cause. If you don't, you only have yourself to blame in the end.
Author Chuck636333 Posted October 9, 2014 Author Posted October 9, 2014 My dad says shes a narcacist... I had to look up the definition but I can honestly say it somewhat fits...not to put the girl down but my dad is pretty knowledable... he says she's a special kind of crazy:(
hazy_shade_of_grey Posted October 9, 2014 Posted October 9, 2014 The "oh there's a chance" thinking can be dangerous as it can setup false hope, hinder your recovery and send you on an emotional roller coaster. Try, as hard as you can to put those thoughts out of your mind.
Author Chuck636333 Posted October 9, 2014 Author Posted October 9, 2014 To kinda sink that in this is the weekend of the breakup a week and a half ago...at one point about 3 years ago I gave her a ring engagement I guess but when we broke up I got it back and it never came back out since...the Friday of the weekend we broke up she said she wanted the ring to wear but not as an engagement she said so Saturday when I went to give it to her the response was " thats how you're going to five it to me?"... what? I thought it wasn't meant as anything? I'm an idiot so usually Sunday I leave in the am because she works but she asked if I'd wait for her and we could go to the mall and spend the day together...so while she's at work I do her dishes and clean her house...30 mins before she gets home she texts and says " hey if you go down again will you take the trash down for me please so I didn't go down between that time and the time she got home...she fought with her boss all day and brought the attitude right through the door...never mentioned all I had done to her place just being extremely rude I didn't take HER trash down...then she goes in her room and shuts door to avoid me after asking me to stay and wait? So I try to talk to her turns into a fight and I didn't think I deserved and I left...she breaks up with me that night.....I don't get it
central Posted October 9, 2014 Posted October 9, 2014 Are you foolish enough to take her back if she does?
Author Chuck636333 Posted October 9, 2014 Author Posted October 9, 2014 If I'm being honest with you and myself...right now yes unfortunately... my mind plays tricks on me in thinking she'll grow out of it...so far to no avail ...Idk what I want but I wish I knew she cared somewhat because on a dime she turns cold like she's never cared...I told my dad I almost hope she doesn't try to come back and if she does I hope its later enough that I can actually think rationally instead jumping in with my heart...if history proves anything she'll try I'm assuming unless she finds or found someone to take her mind off of me...may be the case Idk....I guess in the end if we don't get back together I want her to wish she never left and know it was a mistake...after everything I've done and everything I've put up with I think I deserve that much
Tayken Posted October 9, 2014 Posted October 9, 2014 @Chuck....don't know if you've noticed, but your posts always come out with the words lumped together, making it hard to follow. Perhaps break it up into paragraphs in the future? My dad says shes a narcacist What does this mean?
Author Chuck636333 Posted October 10, 2014 Author Posted October 10, 2014 Personality disorder in which a person is excessively preoccupied with personal adequacy even at the expense of other. Obsessed with being in control and always worried about the way others look at them.they do not notice the destruction they cause around them because they are too narrowed in on themselves. But when a narcacist loses control they desperately fight their way back in to regain control and once control is established the person or object becomes irrelevant again So just like before, I had never walked away and threw in the towel after a break up so when I did she lost control and begged to get me back. And now the same situation is in place again. The question I had was is she going to try again once I get the strength to move on and start bettering myself again like the last time?
Recommended Posts