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I went kind of psycho on my ex boyfriend and his new girlfriend

silrs

By silrs
in General Relationship Discussion

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silrs New Member

silrs

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I was with my ex boyfriend for 3 years, we are both 21 years old and both at the same University. We broke up around 3 weeks ago because I found out that he had been cheating on me with another girl.

 

We didn't end well at all, it was a very bad break up. I decided yesterday that I was going to go out with my friends and have some fun and seeing as Uni has only recently started back up I was hoping to meet some new people.

 

I ended up in a club and he happens to be in there with the girl he cheated on me with.

 

I'm not normally a violent person, I try very hard not to be but I was and am still heartbroken over what he did to me. I ended up throwing my drink at the girl he was with, it wasn't just the drink, it was the glass I was drinking out of too. This obviously angered him and he came over to me screaming at me, calling me pathetic, saying that it's no wonder he cheated on me when I'm a complete weirdo etc etc, he kept saying to me ''Look at the state of you'' and I remember when he was saying that it seemed to really hit a nerve and that's when I went a little psycho and I ended up headbutting him, like a full on headbutt right in the nose, it gave him a nosebleed.

 

I then got dragged out by a bouncer and I just remember screaming at him that I was going to smash his house up and make his life hell as I was being dragged out. I was very drunk......

 

In the cold light of day I honestly feel very ashamed of the way I acted towards him and this girl, like he did cheat on me and he did break my heart but there's no reason for me to be such a psycho.

 

I don't know what to do, I haven't left my bed all day, I haven't got dressed, I feel embarrassed, I feel AWFUL about it all :(:(

sdrawkcaB ssA Established Member

sdrawkcaB ssA

Posted
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Well, at least hope you threw your all anger out with the drink.

 

I would have hit the ex with it... Just because he had the option to say no, as the girl probably was clueless when they started.

 

Anywho no crying over it, as it is done and you know who you are. Here I felt a wee guilty not too long ago about how I reacted on an issue, and I knew better as well. Peeps do that time to time, at the heat of the very unexpected moment.

 

Hope you have rain, rainy days are great to stay in bed... If not get out and put some cloths on, brush out your hair, brush your teeth, and use pit stick while you are at it, and go on a walk. Just walk away your guilt and be done with it. Nobody can judge you but yourself. I bet by next day you will forgive yourself.

Tayken Established Member

Tayken

Posted
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@OP....Now you did say you are 21, but that is no excuse to behave in such a crass manner over such a matter. This sort of behaviour is not exclusive to young people, a lot of women in their 30s and mostly 40s are worse for this and have no qualms causing a scene.

 

I don't know if anyone has told you, boys will go and come and you are at the age where you shouldn't be expecting anything serious / exclusive. Most of the boys are looking to rack up the numbers, just like the girls are ala flavour of the month before moving on to the next best thing.

 

You've admitted that what transpired is wrong, and you are ashamed. You just have to make sure moving forward, this doesn't repeat itself otherwise you will get yourself into a state of no return.

 

As an outside looking in, all people are going to see is a guy being attacked by a crazy female, who can't keep her cool. I mean..you seriously headbutted a guy? Now that is scary :o

  • Like 1
CarrieT Established Member

CarrieT

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I don't know what to do

Snail Mail an apology card with a gift-certificate to a dry-cleaners for any damage you caused the girlfriend's clothes and tell them both you will never bother either of them again and are ashamed of yourself for your behavior.

  • Like 4
SoleMate Established Member

SoleMate

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I recommend anger management classes. Learn how to do with negative feelings without headbutting people. Maybe also call a lawyer because you could be facing charges.

  • Like 1
salparadise Established Member

salparadise

Posted
Posted

 

...and that's when I went a little psycho and I ended up headbutting him, like a full on headbutt right in the nose, it gave him a nosebleed.

 

I then got dragged out by a bouncer and I just remember screaming at him that I was going to smash his house up and make his life hell as I was being dragged out. I was very drunk......

 

A little psycho... yea, maybe a little.

 

Well, you're not going to be able to put that one back in the bottle any time soon. I'd suggest just smiling, rolling your eyes and shrugging your shoulders whenever it comes up, and making sure you act a little less psycho from here on out.

stillafool Established Member

stillafool

Posted
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I can only imagine what would be said if he had done what you did. Just hope he doesn't press charges against you. I hope you didn't break his nose.

d0nnivain Established Member

d0nnivain

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Lots of people do stupid things when they are young, hurt & drinking. You aren't the 1st & you won't be the last.

 

Carrie T's suggestion is the classiest.

 

A verbal apology to the friends you were with is in order too.

 

In the future, if you see your EX, just walk out of whatever bar you are in.

preraph Established Member

preraph

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Don't put anything in writing in case one of them tries to sue you. Don't leave a cell trail to him either. No communication, nothing in writing. I've felt the same way as you before and I would just have to leave. Time to go no contact. Unfortunately, now you made yourself the bad one. No coming back from that, so just avoid. And remember the best revenge isn't showing him how emotional you still are -- it's showing them how emotional you still are NOT by just having a good time when he's around. Don't go overboard; just discipline yourself to be relaxed and smiling and talking to people around you and ignore him entirely. He knows he deserved it for cheating on you, so hopefully he won't try to sue you for medical or something. For your own good, you have to learn to contain your anger and let it out in more effective ways that aren't self-destructive. Whoever moves on and has a good life wins.

  • Like 1
love1336x Established Member

love1336x

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I think you did an amazing job.

Seriously, screw what others here will say. They are going to be all HIGH and mighty, and think they would never ever make a mistake.

 

Given what you did was a mistake, a BIG ONE.

But you know what? Don't feel shame, or any type of negative emotion.

Life HAPPENS. Sh*t happens. End of the story.

At least you didn't woke up in jail.... !

  • Like 1
No Limit Established Member

No Limit

Posted
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Well, for one, don't drink excessively when you know your emotions are all over the place. And two, if I had been there I would have laughed my butt off. :lmao:

 

Leave them be from now on though. You'll laugh over it with your next BF. :)

  • Like 1
Gloria25 Established Member

Gloria25

Posted
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Don't put anything in writing in case one of them tries to sue you. Don't leave a cell trail to him either. No communication, nothing in writing. I've felt the same way as you before and I would just have to leave. Time to go no contact. Unfortunately, now you made yourself the bad one. No coming back from that, so just avoid. And remember the best revenge isn't showing him how emotional you still are -- it's showing them how emotional you still are NOT by just having a good time when he's around. Don't go overboard; just discipline yourself to be relaxed and smiling and talking to people around you and ignore him entirely. He knows he deserved it for cheating on you, so hopefully he won't try to sue you for medical or something. For your own good, you have to learn to contain your anger and let it out in more effective ways that aren't self-destructive. Whoever moves on and has a good life wins.

 

Agreed...lucky the cops didn't get involved. This ain't some drama on "reality TV" where byyych slapping and acting the fool is the name of the game.

 

I don't get why people get mad at the "other man/woman", cuz your SO was the one who decided to make the leap...

 

Alcohol can give people the "courage" to do stupid things, so, until you can learn to handle your alcohol, I highly recommend you do not drink when you are out and about.

  • Like 1
d0nnivain Established Member

d0nnivain

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Don't get hung up on the liability issues. Other than perhaps some soiled clothing it doesn't sound like anybody suffered actual damages. On a contingency fee basis, no lawyer is going to do all the work to sue you for 1/3 of nothing.

preraph Established Member

preraph

Posted
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Gloria, I mean, there are circumstances when it could be the "other woman's" fault, like when they're your best friend or they're some opportunistic person trying to use sex to get special treatment at work or something like that. But no, generally, your problems are between you and the guy who's disrespecting you.

 

Donnivain, I disagree about the liability issues because I've seen thousands of depositions because that is my work. Personal-injury attorneys send them to doctors who make it look like they have lifetime injuries so they can get a big settlement.

 

I still say no more contact so they can't take any communications and show she was harassing them and there's no admitting she did what she did. They'd have the burden to prove that and they probably could through witnesses, but it's much easier with a confession to wring money out of you. Also if she puts it in writing, he's got something to take to the police for a restraining order. Without it, it's his word against hers. She can always say it was an accident or she got shoved or whatever and that's what I'd do if I was her.

Edited by preraph
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