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Just heard this on radio - Challenge for Dating LS men

ComingInHot

By ComingInHot
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ComingInHot Established Member

ComingInHot

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On my way into work, I was flipping through stations and stopped when I heard this:

It was a man who is a 'dating specialist' and has a doctorate or something in social psychology. He said he works with men who have difficulty approaching women and talking to them/asking them out.

 

The first two (2) times he takes them out to social clubs/bars he FORBIDS the guy from asking for a number, HOWEVER he makes the guy approach the girl he finds attractive to tell them simply, "My friend over there is dragging me out of here right now but I couldn't leave before telling you that I find you ____________(insert compliment here) ie; attractive or you have a great energy, or a beautiful smile etc..., I wish I could stay and talk but I need to go. Goodnight."

 

The Dating specialist said that even though there is ALWAYS an agenda, it is important to 'set aside' that agenda for the purpose of showing a woman your humanity through a compliment with not pushing the agenda.

 

The response from women was a resounding, "I would totally want to talk to a man if he actually did that/said that to me. Would want to find out more about him..."

 

The second recommendation was slipping a hand written note or a card (no #) giving the compliment. Chances are, that woman will be looking for the same man the following weekends at the same place...

 

Any of you men done this?

I would love to see if this works and I know some of you are struggling with approaching women so here is a way to take the pressure off of you and be able to approach a woman in a way she will most likely find unintimidating and flattering*

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Mrin Established Member

Mrin

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I like the first idea/challenge. The second is sorta creepy.

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ktya Established Member

ktya

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The second recommendation was slipping a hand written note or a card (no #) giving the compliment. Chances are, that woman will be looking for the same man the following weekends at the same place...

 

Any of you men done this?

 

I had this cheesedick room mate who had all sorts of gimmicks like this, ranging from having cards printed to putting his rather odd and unique first name on his T-shirt saying "My name is ____" (his name is way too unique to post) to posing as a budding filmmaker (he did do film director school and had a union membership card so the story was kind of legit).

 

Guy never once brought a girl home in 2.5 years, seemed to be perpetually friendzoned with the girls he liked and on more than one occasion the girl of his desires would approach me at a party and ask me if I could let him know that she just wanted to be friends with him.

 

Given that the guy was into the rave scene where the girls were all high on ecstacy and other drugs I'd say that the technique failed (at least him) very, very badly.

 

I was into the same scene at the time albeit not as deep and on occasion I had girls just grab me and start making out with me, whisk me away into private areas of the party and I had a long collection of phone numbers.

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ComingInHot Established Member

ComingInHot

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I kind of envisioned the above happening in a NON-drug induced scenario? To me, that would be not at a Rave but ya know, a bar/restaurant type place.

 

But okay*

 

I want to hear from ladies too :D What do ya'll think? And Men... would you be willing to try it this weekend?? and let us know Monday? pleeeease** :love:

Tayken Established Member

Tayken

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The guy on the radio with no name....it will be interesting (or not) to find out how the modus operandi has worked out for him thus far....

JuneJulySeptember Established Member

JuneJulySeptember

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I don't see it working for me, but I can try it and tell you how it goes.

 

I have balls of steel.

 

But if I don't ask for her #, how wiIl I contact her?

 

To me, stuff like this is just silly emotional games.

 

How does it translate into who you are going to spend the rest of your 50. Years with?

 

Women would really rather deal with these games then just accept a date from a guy they have stuff in common with?

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ComingInHot Established Member

ComingInHot

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I don't see it working for me, but I can try it and tell you how it goes.

 

I have balls of steel.

 

But if I don't ask for her #, how wiIl I contact her?

 

To me, stuff like this is just silly emotional games.

 

How does it translate into who you are going to spend the rest of your 50. Years with?

 

Women would really rather deal with these games then just accept a date from a guy they have stuff in common with?

 

You sound like a man not intimidated to greet a lady and that's awesome. I've been reading the Who should ask who and how many times are you approached and this is Why I don't even though I want...

 

BUT PLEASE try it and see if she pines after you. I know that if someone came up to me just to give me a compliment and nothing more I'd be like.... "uh thank you? and oh wait, your just going to walk away? but, I don't, I, WAIT A MINUTE!! You aren't going to stay and talk??"

But that would be me... :o I would WANT to find out about him and maybe MAYBE I would at that point see if I could locate him in the establishment after I regained my composure* :love:

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JuneJulySeptember Established Member

JuneJulySeptember

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You sound like a man not intimidated to greet a lady and that's awesome. I've been reading the Who should ask who and how many times are you approached and this is Why I don't even though I want...

 

BUT PLEASE try it and see if she pines after you. I know that if someone came up to me just to give me a compliment and nothing more I'd be like.... "uh thank you? and oh wait, your just going to walk away? but, I don't, I, WAIT A MINUTE!! You aren't going to stay and talk??"

But that would be me... :o I would WANT to find out about him and maybe MAYBE I would at that point see if I could locate him in the establishment after I regained my composure* :love:

 

I'll see if I can do it.

 

I'supposed to go bar hopping this weekend. I cannot promise you anything about the quality of the target however. :lmao:

 

I think the chances of it making a woman attracted to me are far fetched at best.

 

I think you're imagining Hugh Jackman walking up to Kate Hudson at a bar. I'll tell you when I do it, that's FAR from the case.

ktya Established Member

ktya

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I kind of envisioned the above happening in a NON-drug induced scenario? To me, that would be not at a Rave but ya know, a bar/restaurant type place.

 

But okay*

 

Lol I know... but if it doesnt work in that kind of a scenario where all the girls are pie eyed I cant imagine it working elsewhere.

 

I have balls of steel.

 

But if I don't ask for her #, how wiIl I contact her?

 

To me, stuff like this is just silly emotional games.

 

Exactly the problem with this method. I've tried giving out my number many times and even that never seems to work, girls expect you to initiate so they tend to just do nothing if you dont, and if you are giving out your number but not getting theirs you cant initiate and therefore nothing happens. I'm sure the odd girl would have the balls to make the call but its so rare its not worth trying.

 

I have tried the suggestion with the note or card before (although not professionally printed) in bars both with the servers and with other clientele. Best I got was a cute smile and a wave and if I approached later I got a nice thank you but it got awkward when I tried to strike up a better conversation.

 

Best luck I had with the latter was only one time with a waitress in a small town, but I think she already kind of liked me. I wrote the code URAQT on the back of a peice of blank paper I got from another waitress and told her to give it to her; and said if she couldn't decrypt it it was not a big deal and not important. The waitress I gave it to hand it to her had no idea what the hell it was but the one I was after got it right away. I'll use that one again when the circumstance merits it.

 

I dont know if any of these girls pined for me but it didnt translate into dates, phone numbers, relationships or sex. I really wish that it did work, because at times its just too frigging exhausting having to go up, make the cold approach, exchange names, strike up a conversation, ask for the number, then do the texting, then ask for the date, then do the first date, pay, then try to line up the second - risking rejection at every step of the way. Its a sheer numbers game and you have to be in a good mood, not tired, with money in your pocket.

 

I guess the reason that this Dr. Love can be called a self described expert by handing out these tips is because 99% of the time all the guy can do is wonder and dream that the girl is pining over him.

 

Like JuneJulySeptember I think that shock value just works way better. Approach the girl, find out her name, and make a direct ask for the number and ask her out with balls of steel. It even works on a lot of girls with boyfriends - has for me several times.

Frank2thepoint Established Member

Frank2thepoint

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...it is important to 'set aside' that agenda for the purpose of showing a woman your humanity through a compliment with not pushing the agenda.

 

Any of you men done this?

 

I do this everyday, nearly everywhere. At work, supermarket, laundromat, subway/metro, wherever I get an opportunity to chat with a woman, with no agenda pushing, just a few jokes and a nice conversation.

 

 

I would love to see if this works and I know some of you are struggling with approaching women so here is a way to take the pressure off of you and be able to approach a woman in a way she will most likely find unintimidating and flattering*

 

BUT PLEASE try it and see if she pines after you.

 

For me, that has never worked. Majority of the women I interacted with never pushed the conversation along, or showed any signs of wanting to talk more. It is what it is. Maybe because I'm in NYC and automatically assumed to be some creep. At least I have my self-respect, friends, and hobbies to keep me occupied.

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ComingInHot Established Member

ComingInHot

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NY.? That might explain it LOL!! Just Kidding, I've no idea, I think I live in a pretty friendly place *

Frank2thepoint Established Member

Frank2thepoint

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NY.? That might explain it LOL!! Just Kidding, I've no idea, I think I live in a pretty friendly place *

 

I'm envious. :(

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ComingInHot Established Member

ComingInHot

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I'm envious. :(

 

I performed in NY then got lost in central park. It is definitely an intimidating place* :)

When you have an opportunity to travel, think of Pure (NORTHERN) Michigan*

I don't know if you could handle the chill atmosphere of the place though. ;)

salparadise Established Member

salparadise

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...try it and see if she pines after you. I know that if someone came up to me just to give me a compliment and nothing more I'd be like.... "uh thank you? and oh wait, your just going to walk away? but, I don't, I, WAIT A MINUTE!! You aren't going to stay and talk??"

But that would be me...

 

This is all based on the assumption that you find him attractive. If not, then compliments aren't really appreciated. That's just how it works.

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StanMusial Established Member

StanMusial

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When I was in my 20's and doing the bar/club/party scene, I probably approached hundreds of girls. Most of the time I just asked her name or introduced myself. Other times I would just strike up a conversation or ask her to dance.

 

I remember my brother used to do the trick where he would walk up to a girl and say "Jennifer! I haven't seen you in months!" and then start right into a conversation. And I had a buddy who would walk up to girls and tell them he was recruiting for an alumni softball team for the local college.

 

To be honest I would feel like a jackass if I tried some premeditated line or pick-up trickery. It's dumb.

 

I will say though, the "walk away" does tend to work. If you can make a good first impression and then escape before you creep her out or she comes to her better senses, many times you will find she is following you around or coming back after you. Curiosity I suppose. I never really thought it out and tried it as a method or anything, I just recall this happening in the past.

Frank2thepoint Established Member

Frank2thepoint

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I performed in NY then got lost in central park. It is definitely an intimidating place* :)

 

You can easily get lost in Central Park, from all the winding paths. The trick is to use the surrounding skyscrapers as a frame of reference, to guide you through the park. But is is a beautiful park, very romantic in my opinion.

 

 

When you have an opportunity to travel, think of Pure (NORTHERN) Michigan*

I don't know if you could handle the chill atmosphere of the place though. ;)

 

I like chill atmosphere. Just imagining it is very relaxing. Do you get lot of snow there during the winter? Is it a great place to ski/snowboard?

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ComingInHot Established Member

ComingInHot

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You can easily get lost in Central Park, from all the winding paths. The trick is to use the surrounding skyscrapers as a frame of reference, to guide you through the park. But is is a beautiful park, very romantic in my opinion.

 

 

 

 

I like chill atmosphere. Just imagining it is very relaxing. Do you get lot of snow there during the winter? Is it a great place to ski/snowboard?

 

ski instructed for 9.5 years after I had been skiing there since I was about 4yrs old :laugh:

It's no Jackson Hole or the Rockies but it's beautiful every single season. And skiers are just happy people anyway*

 

So, did you try the challenge again this weekend?

Tayken Established Member

Tayken

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I did used to hand out business cards.

 

In a room full of people handing out business cards, am sure some cards are more likely to get a phone call than others. Shallow as it may sound

carhill Established Member

carhill

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1. Didn't use the 'friend' angle but, sure, that was a common approach and usually resulted in the most direct responses, like 'Thanks, but I don't find you attractive' and similar.

 

2. Yes, I've done that. The first time turned into an affair after I discovered a couple months later that the young lady was apparently married (didn't tell me) and the second, happening after a good deal of casual interaction, resulted in no response. However, I'll qualify the second as another iteration of vacillation between being single and married. Unfortunately, that's common in my area. It depends on the week and the mood.

 

I was unmarried from my teens until 41 so had plenty of experience with all kinds of dating challenges. My best success was simply speaking English whilst walking the streets of Odessa. I attracted cops and lovely young ladies. ;)

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