feelymcfeel Posted October 9, 2014 Posted October 9, 2014 I met her when we were finalists at uni. I was in a poisonous relationship with another at the time which ended shortly thereafter but was immediately smitten with the girl. We hooked up a couple of times, but once we graduated we kinda lost touch for a few months, until I got back in touch with her. Long story short we immediately fell in love, and i've never felt anything like it before - it was amazing. She lived the other side of the country, so every weekend we'd alternate in driving 4.5 hours each way to see each other, before she moved to 2 hours away to pursue a masters degree. The sharing commutes continued. About 16 months ago she finished her degree and we decided to move in together, and to facilitate this, we both looked for employment in a completely new town, and we moved there. Neither of us knew anyone - it was a completely fresh start, and I'd never been happier. Cut forward 12 months. She tells me there are problems, which is the first I've heard of it. The next day she breaks up with me, saying 'we've grown apart, we're not suited to each other' etc etc. I felt awful, but accepted it, it taking two to tango. We moved out of the flat, her into a little terraced cottage, me into a house share, and all was well. I felt although I was heartbroken I was making progress, and was engaging in everything I could - the gym, socialising, writing. 2 weeks ago we met for a catch up (schoolboy error), which was the first time i'd seen her since the end of June. She was acting a bit sketchy and seemed like she was evading some of the questions i was asking about how her life was going. Bit of back story here - 8 days before she broke up with me, I allowed a male friend of hers from where she originates into our home so he can visit for the weekend. I'd briefly met him once before, and he seemed alright, if not the type of person I would usually hang out with. Back to the drink... I straight up asked her if she was seeing this lad. She said yes. My world fell apart. I have never been more devastated. I started drinking heavily, I couldn't eat or sleep, or even get out of bed, my work suffered. I was constantly on the verge of tears and felt like i might do something very silly. Yesterday. I couldn't take it anymore. I had a breakdown at work because of all of the emotions of being in the town, the reasons for me living there, being alone etc. I knew what I had to do. I quit my job there and then, phoned a friend from home who runs his own business. He set me up with some temp work which I start on Monday and I moved back in with my parents (sucks at 27, but was necessary). It's only been one night at home, but I haven't been as happy as I am for months. Don't get me wrong, it still sucks, and i'm still in love with her, but now I'm away from the physical memories, I feel I can finally start to pick up the pieces and move on. This post has been very cathartic for me, and if anyone reads it all, I'm grateful. I suppose the message I'm trying to impart is - do what you need to do. Don't do what you think you should do for your life, do what you know you have to do to help you move on, or you may just end up taking a permanent solutions to a temporary problem. That's where I was headed.
evanescentworld Posted October 9, 2014 Posted October 9, 2014 Thank you for posting. I'm so sorry that this caused you so much pain, but thank goodness that even through this pain (and maybe, who knows? Because of it?) you managed to act and do something for yourself, to pull yourself out of the quagmire before you sank completely. Good that even in the depths of your utter wretched unhappiness, you recognised that 'permanent solutions to temporary problems' are not the way to go. We should never elevate anyone in our lives, to such a level, that they dictate to our emotions whether we live or die. Nobody is THAT important. Nobody matters to us, as much as we do. I really wish you well. Hug your parents, they love you, and I cannot imagine how tough it would be on them, if their son had done something daft..... Much Metta to you.
Frank2thepoint Posted October 9, 2014 Posted October 9, 2014 Thanks for sharing your story. It is great you managed to start healing and moving on. Keep it up. I straight up asked her if she was seeing this lad. She said yes. My world fell apart. I have never been more devastated. My only feedback concerning this is to train your mind and outlook to look at the positive of such devastating situations. I'm sorry you were hurt by her because your feelings for her were genuine. But what she did to you is a good thing, because you no longer have to waste your time with a woman that doesn't respect you, probably not even herself. The worst would of been you two have married, maybe had children, and she drops this bomb on you.
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