furby58 Posted October 9, 2014 Posted October 9, 2014 This has been bothering me for sometime now to the point that the past three weeks i have been having very restless sleep. My ex and i broke up almost a year ago .He broke my heart into gazillion pieces ..turned my world upside down etc etc. For 8 long months after we broke up we were still talking and spent time together (The whole time he was still with the homewrecker -we never really talked about our dating life when we were still talking ) . Two months ago i snapped and basically ended things , said my goodbye and wished him all the best with the homewrecker. I did this for my own good and so i can finally move on .I felt like crap for weeks ,questioning whether i did the right thing or not ( deep down i knew it was the right thing and still do ). After the crappy feelings passed ..i started to feel better emotionally..in peace or so i thought .For what ever reason that i cannot understand i still miss him and love the guy very much despite all the hurt , lies and BS he put me through .The missing part has been getting stronger and stronger the past three weeks .. I thought by ending things , i can finally move on and let go of the past including my feelings. Im frustrated that its almost a year and i cant understand why i still love and miss him and seems like i have not move on at all while hes happily ever after with someone else. I have also noticed that lately i have quiet angry over silly things like all those effort i put into decorating our house bla bla and now he and his homewrecker is living at OUR house. Sorry for the rant , i have been keeping this in for so long , i just cant make sense of my emotions .My friends are just sick of this topic that i just dont bother to talk about it to anyone .all i ever get is "gosh just get over him already " Hoping loveshack can help ...
Arient Posted October 9, 2014 Posted October 9, 2014 You said that the BU was a year ago, but the contact just got cut off 2 months ago, so actually, I think it's safe to say that the real BU happened 2 months ago. It's the same in my case, BU happened 7 months ago, but contact cut off completely 3,5 months ago. When you broke up, but still in contact, it's like you're still trying to cling to a thread of attachment/hope, so it might feel less hurt. But when you entered NC or finally decided to cut it off for real, the thread of attachment got cut, you will fall to the bottom and hit by the reality and acceptance. Thus, it's pretty normal that it would hurt even more, and in a deeper level, because that's the time when you finally have to decide to let go FOR REAL. I think the acceptance phase is quite scary, and sometimes it seems to hurt you more than even the earlier phases, so you might feel that you're going backward. But do not worry, things will get better, and this better state is a long-term and a healthy one. 1
Jet Lag Posted October 9, 2014 Posted October 9, 2014 You said that the BU was a year ago, but the contact just got cut off 2 months ago, so actually, I think it's safe to say that the real BU happened 2 months ago. It's the same in my case, BU happened 7 months ago, but contact cut off completely 3,5 months ago. When you broke up, but still in contact, it's like you're still trying to cling to a thread of attachment/hope, so it might feel less hurt. But when you entered NC or finally decided to cut it off for real, the thread of attachment got cut, you will fall to the bottom and hit by the reality and acceptance. Thus, it's pretty normal that it would hurt even more, and in a deeper level, because that's the time when you finally have to decide to let go FOR REAL. I think the acceptance phase is quite scary, and sometimes it seems to hurt you more than even the earlier phases, so you might feel that you're going backward. But do not worry, things will get better, and this better state is a long-term and a healthy one. Seriously I don't have a like button. Not sure why...but like.
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