blind_otter Posted March 9, 2005 Posted March 9, 2005 So my crush dropped this bomb last night....he said that he is leaving for 2 months in May and June, and then permanently leaving in December. So I would only get maybe 6 months of his time anyways. Well great, I said. "Let me be honest with you, I don't think we are looking for the same thing in a relationship." He objected mildly, but mostly he was just agreeable to whatever I wanted to do. Part of me thinks I really blew it and maybe we could have had something special, the other part of me congratulates myself for extricating myself from the relationship before I got too attached. I wonder if I just used that as an excuse to push away a perfectly nice, kind reasonable young man. He admitted later on when I called him that he knew that we were a bit too different. He said, "I don't see how I would fit into your life" and "You seem to be looking for something really long term, like eventually a husband, and that is just not me right now" - I forget that he is 22 because he is so serious. On a lighter note (or a crappier note) Talib Kwali is playing at a bar here in town next week, but I found out through mutual friends that Mr. T is going and now I don't even want to go. Mr. T is a f*cking hippie who couldn't name 3 Talib songs off the top of his head but he's just going because all his friends who do coke are going. What an a**h***. I actually want to go to hear the music but I feel like I would be too uncomfortable with him there because he can't even be civil to me, now. Apparently he has become good friends with adrian, the guy I hung out with for a few weeks before I totally had to ditch him and spell out that I had a "NO EX-CONS" policy. So, in summary, good guys are unavailable or whatever to me, and bad guys like to talk **** about me behind my back. I am not a happy camper today.
alphamale Posted March 9, 2005 Posted March 9, 2005 Originally posted by blind_otter I wonder if I just used that as an excuse to push away a perfectly nice, kind reasonable young man. hmmm....how conveeeeennnniiiieeeeennnnnntttttttt! isn't your ex getting out of prison in a few months?
Author blind_otter Posted March 9, 2005 Author Posted March 9, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale hmmm....how conveeeeennnniiiieeeeennnnnntttttttt! isn't your ex getting out of prison in a few months? Ummmm, he's getting out on work release in august. But he's living in a halfway house until March and then is on house arrest with the ankle bracelet and everything for a year after that. Ain't no way, baby. Plus that a**h*** owes me $10K from the divorce.
Author blind_otter Posted March 9, 2005 Author Posted March 9, 2005 People keep saying this **** like, oh you'll get back with your exH, or my friend K always accuses me of being in love with Mr. T - well whatever. I don't. I'm not. Just because I am capable of vast amounts of irritation and/or rage does not mean I am in love with them. I might have been in the past or whatever, but I can only take so many kicks in the face before I turn away in disgust. Yeah, I love my exH. I always will for some bizarre reason. But I also know if we ever got back together it would be hellishly awful. I hate everything right now.
alphamale Posted March 9, 2005 Posted March 9, 2005 Originally posted by blind_otter Just because I am capable of vast amounts of irritation and/or rage does not mean I am in love with them. I might have been in the past or whatever, but I can only take so many kicks in the face before I turn away in disgust. Yeah, I love my exH. I always will for some bizarre reason. I am sorry that you are mad and having a bad morning but I would like to point out that the opposite of love is not hate (as many believe). The opposite of love is indifference. And you, B_O, are not being indifferent.
Author blind_otter Posted March 9, 2005 Author Posted March 9, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale I am sorry that you are mad and having a bad morning but I would like to point out that the opposite of love is not hate (as many believe). The opposite of love is indifference. I've never been able to manage that. I always keep getting my panties in a wad about something. Maybe I just need some coffee. HAH.
Mr Spock Posted March 9, 2005 Posted March 9, 2005 I'm curious-are you looking for "nice non dysfunctional" or are you looking for "sexual attraction" let me know which one works best.
alphamale Posted March 9, 2005 Posted March 9, 2005 Originally posted by Mr Spock I'm curious-are you looking for "nice non dysfunctional" or are you looking for "sexual attraction" yes MR SPOCK, the two are usually mutually exclusive.
Mr Spock Posted March 9, 2005 Posted March 9, 2005 Well, I haven't tried dating based on "nice non dysfunctional" in a dog's age so I'm curious as to how that works out for others.
Illusion24 Posted March 9, 2005 Posted March 9, 2005 B_O you sound like me today...I haven't slept in about 2 weeks..I wake up and feel as if I have nothing to live for and then I think and I'm like Oh Sh** I have a great guy!! From what I've noticed you're trying to find happiness in a man...don't you're a beautiful person from what I've read in the forum...you have great advice to give so use some of it....Don't be afraid ...so what you get your panties all in a bunch like I do...what I have to constantly remind myself is that it's not the end of the world...so your guy is leaving I'm sure in no time you'll find someone who makes you feel even better and won't leave you... I found my bf 1 week after I broke up with my ex..and no it wasn't a rebound..didn't even plan it that way it just happened...
Author blind_otter Posted March 9, 2005 Author Posted March 9, 2005 Originally posted by Mr Spock Well, I haven't tried dating based on "nice non dysfunctional" in a dog's age so I'm curious as to how that works out for others. I was trying for both. Why not? But I don't think it works like that. So the default setting I changed to "nice non dysfunctional" (before it was set at sexual attraction). And I find myself bored, frustrated, and I think essentially looking for any excuse to get the hell out of dodge. I basically had a minor temper tantrum last night because I couldn't have what I wanted. Extreme sexual attraction, emotional adoration, intelligent, humorous, witty conversation, and a guy who smells like baby powder and cool water cologne. Mr. grad school witnessed the tantrum, tried to soothe me, as usual I was not soothable and I just planted my feet on his head and shoved him off the dock, so to speak. Oh I am a bitch sometimes.
Mr Spock Posted March 9, 2005 Posted March 9, 2005 Yeah. I often think that if I DO find nice and I'm not hot to trot perhaps getting loaded will help...........that's a big fear-finding somone who WANTS to date me but I just don't want them. I won't settle. You shouldn't either. Consider moving first.
Illusion24 Posted March 9, 2005 Posted March 9, 2005 Wow how funny...you sound like a Gemini on a bad day (yes I'm a Gemini)...I could be a bitch too but I see it as I know what I want and no ones going to change my mind about it...I'm confident in who I am and I just want a man by my side with the same qualities...Not much to ask at all!!
alphamale Posted March 9, 2005 Posted March 9, 2005 Originally posted by blind_otter and a guy who smells like baby powder and cool water cologne. Cool Water by Davidoff? WTF?! That stuff sucks!
Bronzepen Posted March 9, 2005 Posted March 9, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale Cool Water by Davidoff? WTF?! That stuff sucks! I first read Davidoff as David Hasselhoff. Damn, I need more coffee.
Author blind_otter Posted March 9, 2005 Author Posted March 9, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale Cool Water by Davidoff? WTF?! That stuff sucks! It's from my thug days. My first boyfriend when I was 18 smelled like that. Yeah. I did this thing where I would be stoned around people I didn't like, tolerating their presence. Combine that with anticonvulsants (because of my epilepsy) and wow, you have a patient who is nearly comatose. I tolerated so much bull****, and some of my friends said I was too hard on him - that I should have waited to see what would come of us - but I am too old to be waiting around for a 22 year old. Besides he didn't want what I did. He wanted something else, obviously....I kept accusing him of just wanting a f*ck. ah well.
tiki Posted March 9, 2005 Posted March 9, 2005 Man, what a stream of bad luck. I say turn lesbian and you and spock can date each other.
Author blind_otter Posted March 9, 2005 Author Posted March 9, 2005 Originally posted by tiki Man, what a stream of bad luck. I say turn lesbian and you and spock can date each other. One wonders how much of the bad luck I bring upon myself. I have threatened to turn lesbian on more than one occassion. But I like feminine lesbians. Hrm. I know a bunch of strippers who are lesbians....
alphamale Posted March 9, 2005 Posted March 9, 2005 Originally posted by blind_otter One wonders how much of the bad luck I bring upon myself. probably quite a bit of it, I would think.
moimeme Posted March 9, 2005 Posted March 9, 2005 I'm curious-are you looking for "nice non dysfunctional" or are you looking for "sexual attraction" Keep looking until you find both in one package. It's the best way to go IMHO. Though it may be well nigh impossible to find 'non-dysfunctional'. Might have to settle for 'slightly dysfunctional but still functioning' lol.
Author blind_otter Posted March 9, 2005 Author Posted March 9, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale probably quite a bit of it, I would think. Probably just from dating people in general. I mean, I definately didn't ask to get pregnant accidentally (all morality arguments aside, I don't believe in abortion so that's not an issue to me), I didn't ask for my ex to go crazy, stalk me, and assault one of my friends....the drugs binges and stuff, those were all on me, and taking the phone calls from my exH in prison, again, my fault. blah.
Mr Spock Posted March 9, 2005 Posted March 9, 2005 I'm suprised you WANT to boink anyone on anti convulsants. Kudos to you for dealing with that to. Alpha makes me think of the verse "you do it to yourself, you do, and that's what really hurts" But I don't believe you're actively trying to sabotage yourself anymore than I am. Lesbians don't have penises, that I know of, so that's out for me.
Author blind_otter Posted March 9, 2005 Author Posted March 9, 2005 Originally posted by Mr Spock Lesbians don't have penises, that I know of, so that's out for me. :lmao: Yeah, threats of lesbianism from the woman who can't orgasm from oral sex. Gooooooooooooood luck. I also think of that Cure Song "This is not about running out on you/not about right or wrong/it's only that it's over and done with/it's already been and gone/and I don't WANT another go around/I don't WANT to start again/I don't want another go around/I want this to be the end" I just want to be able to be happy with someone. God knows, if I run into a well-mannered, intelligent, reasonably sexy man he will luck out and grab me up. I just want some company goddamn it. And a little sex every other day or so. Jeez. Tina, come eat some ham!
Mr Spock Posted March 9, 2005 Posted March 9, 2005 Same here. And I'll take being able to fix sh*t over intelligence. I am ready for something different. But still lots of fornication. So I'll just see how you do it. Go on, let me see.
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