sammiexo Posted October 9, 2014 Posted October 9, 2014 long story short, BF of 10 years cheated on me with his co-worker..it was a horrible mess. We broke up but maintained a roller coaster of contact, like we couldn't shake the other one off. I don't know how he feels to this day since almost everything of his mouth is bs but for me I feel like I can't live with or without him. But now that i found out (from reading his phone) that he was still sleeping with the girl I don't get why he would still be talking to me and being friendly (he always initiates- asking what's up, how are things, etc.) It still hurts my heart he is hooking up with this person after all the pain it's caused. There really is no gain to keep on communicating with him, right?
Simon Phoenix Posted October 9, 2014 Posted October 9, 2014 Why the hell would you have to ask if you should keep communicating with him? He cheated on you and disrespected you, why would you still talk to him? This situation seems pretty cut and dry to me. STOP TALKING TO YOUR CHEATING EX. 1
StrangerThanFiction Posted October 9, 2014 Posted October 9, 2014 He's keeping you as a back up. You don't know if you can live without him because you haven't made a determined effort to do so. Cut all contact. Ignore his phone calls, texts, everything. The guy is blatantly disrespecting you and the only person getting anything out of your continued contact is him. He has the comfort of knowing that if things don't work out with this other girl, you'll still be there on the line. I know what you're going through because I've been there, recently, so trust me when I say that the best decision you can make is to NC his a** right out of your life. I know it feels impossible because he's obviously battered your self esteem and self respect down so far that you don't know how you'll live without him...but you will, and boy howdy, once you come out the other side of all the bs you are a brand new person and you'll look back and see him for the useless bag of skin he is. 1
Author sammiexo Posted October 9, 2014 Author Posted October 9, 2014 Thanks..I guess a part of me wants to hope/believe that he actually cares about me but after everything I am really doubting he ever did, or that he ever loved me.
Raena Posted October 9, 2014 Posted October 9, 2014 Sadly, he probably did love you at one point but his sense of love is warped. I can completely relate. My cheating ex is doing the same and it's come to the point where I finally had to lay it out for him... NO... we are NOT friends. We are co-parents, but that doesn't mean I have to listen to your sad sob story of a life and let it drain me of all my happiness. You need to cut the ties with this jacka$$. He cheats, is still sleeping with her and is keeping you hanging around just in case he might be able to get back with you. He doesn't love you, because if he did, he wouldn't have done what he did in the first place. It sucks, but you can't keep holding on to the hope that he'll come back and everything will be good between you two. I did that stupidly too and it didn't work out too well. 2
Author sammiexo Posted October 11, 2014 Author Posted October 11, 2014 It sucks, especially after the girl anonymously sent me pics of their sex text messages on facebook. Lately I've been thirsting for revenge because I feel like they got away with everything living happily and I am still getting crapped on.
Arieswoman Posted October 11, 2014 Posted October 11, 2014 sammiexo, I'm sorry you are suffering like this, it is bad, I know, I've been there. Lately I've been thirsting for revenge because I feel like they got away with everything living happily and I am still getting crapped on. Unfortunately, you can't stop people crapping on you, but you can stop crapping on yourself. That means NC. Block/delete/change 'phone numbers etc etc. Anything that stops any contact. especially after the girl anonymously sent me pics of their sex text messages on facebook if it was anonymous how do you know it was her? Anyway, if it was, she sounds like some sad person if that's how she wants to spend her time. When I see all this romantic OTT mush on FB with people posting about how wonderful their b/f, g/f, spouse is I always wonder "who are they trying to convince, other posters or themselves?". So block her on FB (and your ex b/f as well). NO you don't need him, YES you can live without him. Have a look at the No Contact Guide on this site and put it into practice, before he screws you head up good and proper. Good luck x
herself Posted October 12, 2014 Posted October 12, 2014 I think it was maybe too hard for you to cut contact and cut him out completely immediately after finding out the truth but you should have. This would have earned you WAY more respect in his eyes and now instead you are easing his guilt. He feels better and not like such a cheating scum bag since you are still talking to him. In essence you are helping him ease his own guilt. I know its going to be painful but you need to cut him off cold. No last conversation no closure nothing. If it would help you...a one sentence "I am moving on and am requesting you do not text, email, or call me again" Do not gush about all of your feelings, betrayal...silence speaks LOUDEST. Block him everywhere and start a new life. He needs to feel your absence in order to see what his actions costs. He may care or not. He may feel sad or not F him who cares. I would hold my head high...get to gym go out with friends... Soon the depression and sadness will lift. He should be dead to you only a loser would do what he did. Your going to be so happy once you get him out of your life and rebuild your self esteem. Cheaters shouldn't EVER get 2nd chances. Let him rot. Move on...your gonna do great without him!!! Go girl!! 1
Author sammiexo Posted October 12, 2014 Author Posted October 12, 2014 if it was anonymous how do you know it was her? Anyway, if it was, she sounds like some sad person if that's how she wants to spend her time. Who else could have it been as they were screenshots from her phone .. my exes number was at the top. he confirmed they were real as well as admitted talking to her about me but only on occasion. So I am pretty sure she was jealous/threatened as girls do. NO you don't need him, YES you can live without him. Have a look at the No Contact Guide on this site and put it into practice, before he screws you head up good and proper. Good luck x Thanks girl xx I think it was maybe too hard for you to cut contact and cut him out completely immediately after finding out the truth but you should have. This would have earned you WAY more respect in his eyes and now instead you are easing his guilt. He feels better and not like such a cheating scum bag since you are still talking to him. In essence you are helping him ease his own guilt. Agree--- I realize this 3 months too late Especially when he goes on and on about how my behavior (our communication issues) lead him to cheating. He should be dead to you only a loser would do what he did. Your going to be so happy once you get him out of your life and rebuild your self esteem. Cheaters shouldn't EVER get 2nd chances. Let him rot. Move on...your gonna do great without him!!! Go girl!! Thanks for all the support girl!
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