Locust Posted October 9, 2014 Posted October 9, 2014 I never had dated or been in a relationship but I had a lady from Belarus message me on a dating site called FDating. We been writing to each other through email and had few Skype sessions. I'm curious if you guys think its possible to form a relationship with someone online that far away? For me its new as I never had this kind of attention and a bit of great feeling about it.
Assasda Posted October 9, 2014 Posted October 9, 2014 please, at least chat with your pen-pal for like a month before you go falling in love. 1
Author Locust Posted October 9, 2014 Author Posted October 9, 2014 please, at least chat with your pen-pal for like a month before you go falling in love. We met online back in late July.
mightycpa Posted October 9, 2014 Posted October 9, 2014 Is it possible? Yes. Why would you want to do that? No idea. Being there counts for a lot. Find somebody close that you can look in the eye, and hold hands with and all that stuff. Don't throw away your first one on something virtual. Find a real, live girl. Trust me on this. This is excellent advice. 2
ExpatInItaly Posted October 9, 2014 Posted October 9, 2014 Well, did she have any prior plans to move closer to your area? I can't imagine you moving to Belarus, to be honest. No, I don't know you and I have nothing against the country. But Belarus is not exactly the easiest country in the world for a foreigner to settle in. Unless she was already thinking of relocating to your part of the world, I would keep this as a friendship. The distance - geographic, socio-political, emotional - is going to be a major obstacle.
Author Locust Posted October 9, 2014 Author Posted October 9, 2014 Is it possible? Yes. Why would you want to do that? No idea. Being there counts for a lot. Find somebody close that you can look in the eye, and hold hands with and all that stuff. Don't throw away your first one on something virtual. Find a real, live girl. Trust me on this. This is excellent advice. I don't meet American women standards to be a potenetial partner. I had recently finished college and I don't have my career job yet. I read several profiles on POF that women want a guy with a career job. I do currently work but its not my career job. Given that I never had dated my whole life so far and I'm nearing my 30's its time for me to look elsewhere. American women have standards that I could never fit in. This is why I beem looking at other countries even though I most likely will never see them. I guess I can think of it as virtual dating at this point.
yellow_sun Posted October 9, 2014 Posted October 9, 2014 I don't meet American women standards to be a potenetial partner. I had recently finished college and I don't have my career job yet. I read several profiles on POF that women want a guy with a career job. I do currently work but its not my career job. Given that I never had dated my whole life so far and I'm nearing my 30's its time for me to look elsewhere. American women have standards that I could never fit in. This is why I beem looking at other countries even though I most likely will never see them. I guess I can think of it as virtual dating at this point. I'm an American woman nearing my 30s and I don't care about that sh*t. Pretty sure I'm not the only one. 1
Blade96 Posted October 9, 2014 Posted October 9, 2014 (edited) I met a guy on fb back in May. also from Belarus. A friend of a good friend of mine. We only got together in early July when he confessed his feelings to me. He's a good guy and yes I love him and he loves me. yes I think it's possible. And since I have loved Russian language for years and years, we only write to each other in Russian. He has a way to get to North America through his brother and relatives of friends that live here (in Canada) But he never thought about leaving until he met me. Edited October 9, 2014 by Blade96
Author Locust Posted October 10, 2014 Author Posted October 10, 2014 I'm an American woman nearing my 30s and I don't care about that sh*t. Pretty sure I'm not the only one. Then what do you want in your man? Most women want a guy who is complete. This is what I read from women profiles on POF and Date Hookup.
mightycpa Posted October 10, 2014 Posted October 10, 2014 I don't meet American women standards to be a potenetial partner. I had recently finished college and I don't have my career job yet. I read several profiles on POF that women want a guy with a career job. I do currently work but its not my career job. Given that I never had dated my whole life so far and I'm nearing my 30's its time for me to look elsewhere. American women have standards that I could never fit in. This is why I beem looking at other countries even though I most likely will never see them. I guess I can think of it as virtual dating at this point. Bull****. You're blaming American women for something that has a lot more to do with you that it does with them. I'm thinking that your inability to see things for what they are has something to do with it. 5
carhill Posted October 10, 2014 Posted October 10, 2014 Belarus visa process, either way, is pretty tough, about like what I went through for Russia and Ukraine 20 years or so ago. If you want to know about the possibilities, google 'russian women discussion' and spend some time reading. I was over there a number of times, amounting in total to a couple of months in-country. IMO, if you get on well with this lady, get your visa sponsored and set up and head out. Even if things go sideways with this lady, there are plenty to meet. You can find some good resources for apartments, interpreters and drivers on RWD as well. My two biggest assets in-country were my driver and interpreter. If you want to enjoy a festive flavor, try being there around Georgian Christmas and New Year's. They know how to party. I never thought I could down a whole bottle of vodka in one sitting and still walk!
thefooloftheyear Posted October 10, 2014 Posted October 10, 2014 I wouldnt be surprised if after you are hooked on her, she asks you for 10 grand so "I can get my affairs in order and be with you" and if you send it, never hear from her again...Its a common scam..and almost happened to a guy I know.. TFY 1
yellow_sun Posted October 10, 2014 Posted October 10, 2014 Then what do you want in your man? Most women want a guy who is complete. This is what I read from women profiles on POF and Date Hookup. Well, I'm still trying to figure that out at the moment so my answer might be a bit vague. And what does "complete" mean? After compatibility, which is obvious, I look for someone who has some sort of passion or drive. Their passion doesn't need to be career/work-related. I just like if a guy cares about something a lot and is active about it in some way. Emotional maturity is also a big plus. But honestly, I don't want to be with someone who just works all the time and can't see past career and money. I feel like there's more to life than that and I want someone who feels the same. Maybe it has to do with where I am in my life right now. I worked a little bit after getting my first degree, found it unfulfilling and decided to go back to school to get a second degree in a completely different field. So, for me, I realized that not everyone, or probably most people, don't have it all figured out (even if they think they do), and thus 'having it all figured out' does not equate 'being complete' in my eyes. As long as a guy isn't wasting his life doing something meaningless (working all the time just for the money and then going home to watch TV or play video games all night, etc) and has some sort of active lifestyle (meaning going out and living their life), then I'm usually ok with that. Conversely, I don't want a bum with absolutely no drive, either. I like balance, I guess? Sorry, I'm sure my answer really isn't that clear but I hope it helps!
ExpatInItaly Posted October 10, 2014 Posted October 10, 2014 Then what do you want in your man? Most women want a guy who is complete. This is what I read from women profiles on POF and Date Hookup. What do you mean by "a guy who is complete"? And I have to agree with another poster. If you're the common denominator in a string of failed unions, it would be a good idea to reflect on yourself and your approach with women, rather than blaming American women in general. Otherwise, you're likely to have problems with women of any nationality. 1
SummerDreams Posted October 10, 2014 Posted October 10, 2014 I don't meet American women standards to be a potenetial partner. I had recently finished college and I don't have my career job yet. I read several profiles on POF that women want a guy with a career job. I do currently work but its not my career job. Given that I never had dated my whole life so far and I'm nearing my 30's its time for me to look elsewhere. American women have standards that I could never fit in. This is why I beem looking at other countries even though I most likely will never see them. I guess I can think of it as virtual dating at this point. Women from Russia want the money more than anything, so no great luck for you with her. I'm sure that there is a woman out there who doesn't care about you having a great job, I know cause I'm one of these women. By lowering your standards cause you can't keep up with the norm you just degrade yourself. Do your best to better yourself and keep your faith up. I know this advise sounds lame but trust me, that's what I did, I didn't compromise for less, and I won.
Blade96 Posted October 10, 2014 Posted October 10, 2014 I wasn't even looking for anyone, (I'm a woman) but if I was, I wanted someone with my interests in Russian language, russian history all that. Didn't matter about nationality. Just someone who shares my interests. So I was just studying my language and hanging in cyber space with my slavic friends when I met the Belarus guy - I wasn't even looking for a guy and actually turned him down for some time. He's a friend of one my my other Belarusian friends - don't worry, I know for a fact they're all legit - And about the money scams some people do - I did tell the truth about myself - I am poor, I don't have a job and have to stay with my parents - and I know jack - all about visa crap. That is all the truth. So I told him the truth about myself and he doesn't care, he said, he likes me anyway.
Gaeta Posted October 10, 2014 Posted October 10, 2014 Locust: Among all the women in the world you picked the most hysterical and dramatic of all. Three times I had really close encounters with recently immigrated Russian women and all the 3 of them were hysterical, dramatic, demanding, abusive. These women have a very low opinion of men in general. You have to understand the dynamic of that country-culture to understand. Most children are raised without fathers. They are raised by angry mothers that teaches them that when a man comes around you take everything you can from him cause he won't stick around. If you want to be looked down, if you want to be used at a wallet and bossed around, you got yourself a good deal.
SummerDreams Posted October 10, 2014 Posted October 10, 2014 And I thought I was the one who was being racist with Russian women. 1
Gaeta Posted October 10, 2014 Posted October 10, 2014 And I thought I was the one who was being racist with Russian women. I am not being racist, I am sharing my experience with them and what I am saying about being raised by angry mothers and fathers being absent was told to me by my Russian sister-in-law herself. I had a Russian sister-in-law, my daughter had a Russian lady as room-mate for a couple of years, and my daughter is now dating a Belaruse man with an ex (belaruse) from hell. All these women were showing deep anger management problems, the 3 of them were hysterical, dramatic, and some of them were right down abusive. These women a very low opinion of men. 1
Gaeta Posted October 10, 2014 Posted October 10, 2014 In Belaruse more women hold jobs than men, what does that tell you about their dynamic? OP do your homework. She wants to get out of there and you're her ticket out.
Blade96 Posted October 10, 2014 Posted October 10, 2014 Oh yeah the Belarus scammers. I'm reading stories now of people who got scammed by them. I bet all countries have their share of scammy people. I by the way am enjoying my romance with my belarusian guy but keep my wits about me. You know, just in case. If anything happened, and god forbid he was a male belarusian scammer trying to scam, I'd have to tell our mutual friend, He's a good guy I'd have to let him know his "friend" is a scammer ...
Blade96 Posted October 10, 2014 Posted October 10, 2014 This site is really good for info and stories of what the scammers did and said. They even have a blacklist. Take care of yourself OP. (and I will take care of myself too) Yoshkar-Ola. Republic Mari-El, Russia: Online dating scams
Author Locust Posted October 11, 2014 Author Posted October 11, 2014 Bull****. You're blaming American women for something that has a lot more to do with you that it does with them. I'm thinking that your inability to see things for what they are has something to do with it. I never blame American women, all I said I don't meet with American women standards. From men that had met women overseas said their their demamds are lower. So I figure it would make it easier to date. There is nothing wrong with dating American women but I read too many dating files where they want a guy with a career job, has a car and so on. What guys tell me about women from there is they can care less about this stuff. When I look at Eastern European dating profiles they don't mention career job and car as a requirement. So therefore I feel I could potentially fit in. I'm not blaming anyone. I'm just saying I have not met the requirements for dating American women.
yellow_sun Posted October 11, 2014 Posted October 11, 2014 What guys tell me about women from there is they can care less about this stuff. When I look at Eastern European dating profiles they don't mention career job and car as a requirement. So therefore I feel I could potentially fit in. I'm not blaming anyone. I'm just saying I have not met the requirements for dating American women. And you've now heard from two American women who tell you those are not requirements for them. My best friend is Russian and from what she tells me, although she is not this way herself, Russian women are mostly concerned about career and money. 2
Gaeta Posted October 11, 2014 Posted October 11, 2014 I never blame American women, all I said I don't meet with American women standards. From men that had met women overseas said their their demamds are lower. So I figure it would make it easier to date. There is nothing wrong with dating American women but I read too many dating files where they want a guy with a career job, has a car and so on. What guys tell me about women from there is they can care less about this stuff. When I look at Eastern European dating profiles they don't mention career job and car as a requirement. So therefore I feel I could potentially fit in. I'm not blaming anyone. I'm just saying I have not met the requirements for dating American women. It's a lot of theory and hear say ...go out and experience it first hand then talk about your experience with American women.
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