joe_bing Posted October 8, 2014 Posted October 8, 2014 (edited) So, I met this woman, we are both in our early 30s, we dated for over a month. It was good except that I realized we were going too fast and needed to slow down. Also, I was having some financial obligations that needed to be taken care of before I get serious in relationship. I stopped seeing her and told her I am not ready for anything serious. After few months I messaged her again when I sorted out my finances and realized I want to be with her. She told me she was dating someone. and would love to date me if it did not work out. We often exchange messages about life and everything. Again after sometime I told her I want to get together with her. She said she is dating a man who is still married and says is getting ready for divorce. I told her to be cautious. So, now I do not know what I should be doing. She still messages me funny messages and I am confused. One time I told her to be with her beau or figure out if it is working or not. She playfully accused me of dumping her and says she wants to be commitedto him until she figures out. Should I stop responding to her messages or what? I do want to be with her if there is a possibility but don't want to be a backup option. Edited October 8, 2014 by joe_bing
ComingInHot Posted October 8, 2014 Posted October 8, 2014 You should be dating anybody BUT a woman who is screwing a MM and then letting YOU know you can happily be her 'plan B' when her sleeping with MM falls through. seriously, you can't do better ??
LoneIsland Posted October 8, 2014 Posted October 8, 2014 I would say there's a bit of revenge going on. The wait for her could be indefinite. Best look for someone else. But you might find she will want to come play when you do find someone else. 1
Assasda Posted October 8, 2014 Posted October 8, 2014 You seem to be doing everything correctly man. You told her the perfect answer. "be with her beau or figure out if it is working or not." is golden. I suggest you move on and see other women man. If you need to make what you said more clear. Then do so, and stop answering her texts
Gloria25 Posted October 9, 2014 Posted October 9, 2014 You should be dating anybody BUT a woman who is screwing a MM and then letting YOU know you can happily be her 'plan B' when her sleeping with MM falls through. seriously, you can't do better ?? I agree, but come on...yes, he was taking care of business (which is good, shows responsibility) but he didn't communicate that to her... From what he posted he told her "I am not ready for anything serious"...He didn't say 'I'm into you, but want to take the time to get to know you and take care of some personal affairs of my own'. And, he probably would have maintained her interest and gotten to know her (i.e. inexpensive casual dating like a drink/coffee/lunch every now and then, checking out a movie). But no, what he told her is pretty much either "I don't wanna date you" or "I'm not ready to date anyone"...So, what is she supposed to do? Hang around his leg like a dog, hoping he'll reconsider even though he's telling her to go sit? Now, while her "dating" a MM isn't a better option, we don't know what they discussed. He probably will even continue to see her after he's officially divorced. He probably communicated better to her what's going on, so she's probably gonna stick around and see how it works out....But eh, people going through divorces can get dicey...I agree with her needing to proceed with caution.
Gloria25 Posted October 9, 2014 Posted October 9, 2014 I would say there's a bit of revenge going on. The wait for her could be indefinite. Best look for someone else. But you might find she will want to come play when you do find someone else. Eh, I agree, she might be exacting some revenge...but he's been burnt, don't think she'll come to "play" again with him - I mean who wants to be yo-yoed?
darocksin2 Posted October 13, 2014 Posted October 13, 2014 (edited) Hi joe_bing, it’s good to know that you’re reevaluating your relationship. Seeking godly advice from a trusted friend and praying are some options that you might want to look at. I recently came across this article titled “Soul Mates or Sole Mates?” It does a great job of dealing with the issues you have discussed and I believe it can be of some help to you. It is on a Christian website though. If you'd like the link, just PM me. I'll be praying for you!! :-) Rb Edited October 13, 2014 by darocksin2
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