blueberrymuffin Posted October 8, 2014 Posted October 8, 2014 So I posted this rambling thread (link included if anyone's interested) about this male friend I really liked and who I thought may well like me back. Thing is I was convinced that if we got it together he could almost be the one, we gelled so well. Anyway he texts me the same day we were meeting saying 'Oh X and I are dating, mind if she comes along?' I did mind and was devastated but put on a brave face. He noticed something was wrong though -so to save embarrassment I made something up, but not sure if he bought it. When I met the girl I was confused why they were together - they didn't seem to have much in common and he seemed more interested in speaking to me. Anyway listening to general advice which was to get a grip and that I had fantasised the thing all in my head, I decided I needed to get over him and get some space. So I went cold on him completely. Zero contact. A week later he texts just a blah text - Oh I had a great sunbathing weekend kind of thing. I respond a day later and coldly and not carrying the convo on. Then he texts again asking to meet up, I say no and give a really sh***y excuse that makes it clear - the 'I'm going to be watching TV just go away' kind. Then get another blah text. Each time he tries to carry on the convo and I go cold. Finally I get a text (a few weeks after the introduction) 'Blah, blah (his life news) then .. oh and X and I have broken up, hope you're having a good week.' At this point I'm thinking 'I thought he could be the one, but I'm not going to be this little Miss reliable backup.' So I respond to the text but don't bother to respond to that comment. He tries to initiate a convo again and I don't respond again. Last communication I got was another blah text that I replied to but ended the convo again. In his last text he told me about something kind of important to him that he'd finally been able to get for the next week - normally with friends I'm the type who would remember, ask how it went, wish good luck, but I didn't bother. Anyway, do you think he just really, really wants to be friends and is genuinely confused as to why I've gone cold on him? Surely he can't be so stupid as to not realise I went cold on him the minute he got a girlfriend. We knew each other for a while before this girl and he made no moves. Also, he's not a shy kid he should have years of experience under his belt - although we are both from a reserved culture and he's not exactly the type of smooth dude to go out pulling the ladies. Tbh, I've begun to get over him by cutting him out of my life. Should I give it one last shot just because I think this could be special if he feels that same way? I'm just scared it will happen all over again that I keep hoping and getting emotionally exhausted. Or carry on with getting him out of my life? No way can we have the same level of friendship we had, it would hurt me way too much. So if he does just want to be my best bud it's gonna have to be a no. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/491962-absolutely-devastated-he-has-girlfriend-what-s-he-playing#post5878096
Assasda Posted October 8, 2014 Posted October 8, 2014 Good job getting over him OP. He tried to manipulate you and make jealous by brings some other girl around. You did the correct thing by going cold. And now you see how pathetic he is, which all his "blah" texts, as you call them. He's not worth an ounce more of your time OP. I dont think he wants to be your bud, but I also think he's proven that he cant be your lover either. So youfound him out to be feminine, lukewarm, manipulative, and now needy. I think you got this under control
Author blueberrymuffin Posted October 9, 2014 Author Posted October 9, 2014 For curiosity's sake I'm wondering what to think. I'm so confused. Does he still thinks I'm his friend and is confused by my behaviour. Or he did like me as more than a friend after all, realised he's messed up and is trying to get back in?
smackie9 Posted October 9, 2014 Posted October 9, 2014 Ask him yourself. You know what, the only way to resolve this is to stand up and talk to him about everything. Clearing the air as we call it or getting it off your chest. Once you do that you will know how he feels, he wil know how you feel, and if you can't be around him anymore, he will know and leave you alone so you can be at peace.
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