Griesfootball Posted October 8, 2014 Posted October 8, 2014 Hi been a few months since I've have been on here. To refresh my ex broke up with me after a year in April. I reached out multiple times as I was hurting but she didn't want to hear it. She dated a guy for 3 months over the summer and it seems to have been a fling. She texted me two days ago out of nowhere saying "hey what is new with you"? We chatted for a little. I asked how is your boyfriend bc there must be a reason why she's texting me. She said she broke up with him over last weekend. Then we went into details about our relationship and I finally was given some answers. Just texting made me get into feelings for her again after trying to move on. And yesterday she asked if I wanted to snapchat so we have been doing that too. She seems vulnerable but I don't know what to do or say. She is who I still want to be with but I thought I was moving along well. So what should I say or do? And what are her motives? Why all of a sudden?
johnson_j Posted October 8, 2014 Posted October 8, 2014 You already have your answer. Things didn't work out with the new guy, so she needs someone to pay her attention (you) to get her self-esteem going again. As soon as she's strong, you'll be dropped again. 4
SoThatHappened Posted October 8, 2014 Posted October 8, 2014 Gries, It's funny how everyone can give the same advice on here (generally) regarding an ex, but when it happens to the person, they seek advice. I've done the same thing as you. I am a strong advocate for NC after being hurt, and have kept it up basically since the breakup. However, every time my ex has contacted me with breadcrumbs, I come running to this site for advice. The advice is always consistent, and correct. I've remained NC even after a long text from her admitting she was wrong and saying she hopes I'm doing alright. I wanted to reply, but ignored instead after heeding the advice on here. If I would have replied, it could have opened up a dialogue and set me back. You still have feelings. She's keeping you around for whatever reason, but hasn't flat out said she wants you back. You need to tell her that you can't stay in contact with her. You need to heal and move past her. It's all about you. Be selfish and do what's best for you. Who gives a $h!t what she thinks. She hurt you. You don't owe her anything.
Zahara Posted October 8, 2014 Posted October 8, 2014 And what are her motives? Why all of a sudden? She just broke up. She's looking for attention to numb her bad feelings. It's not very difficult to see. 1
movingonnow1 Posted October 8, 2014 Posted October 8, 2014 Trust me man, don't respond. I'm going through hell right now and I even went through 1 year of NC. It's not worth it - you are better to focus on someone new. 1
Always Pondering Posted October 8, 2014 Posted October 8, 2014 I made a mistake when I was in a situation very similar to yours Gries and you can take what you want from my story. Relationship lasted about two years, ended some time around May last year (close to yours) and then she dated someone during the summer for about 4-5 months. They broke up and very shortly after, she decided to contact me. I broke No Contact by responding and we ending up talking about events in our lives until the topic changed to our past RS. My feelings were still there and she wanted to keep in contact with me. I declined and found out that several days after we talked, she was in another relationship with someone else. I was devastated and wished I never broke NC. We haven't spoken since. Moral of the story? Breadcrumbs =/= the desire for reconciliation.
Simon Phoenix Posted October 8, 2014 Posted October 8, 2014 Stop responding for one. She was fishing -- it's not an invitation for you to pursue her again. Make her come over the top in pursuing you. You answering and being a sap won't do that. But stop snapchatting and talking to her -- you clearly aren't ready for it or capable of doing it under the perspective that she is a friend, not an ex-girlfriend. So stop.
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