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Sum up your terrible online dating in haiku form


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Posted

He kissed with no tongue

It was like kissing a Bissell

He swallowed my face.

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Posted

I found out one night

My biggest instant turnoff

"I am with PETA"

 

When I see the words

"Want a redneck Romeo"

I die more each time

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I sent a message

The girl said I was too short

I'm five-eleven.

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Posted

They all hunt and fish.

I don't; I read and I write.

Where is my book nerd?

Posted
They all hunt and fish.

I don't; I read and I write.

Where is my book nerd?

 

Near Pennsylvania?

Good looking with low standards?

Gotta start somewhere.

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Posted
Near Pennsylvania?

Good looking with low standards?

Gotta start somewhere.

 

In Minnesota.

Good looking with high standards!

Gotta start somewhere.

Posted

Alas, Writergal

Three thousand more posts than me

I have wacky rules

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Posted

Catch up Snagglepuss!

I've been here longer than you. :p

Rules are for fools, (sometimes).

Posted

I'll bet this thread helps

Back to online dating though

It sucks, to be blunt

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Posted

Online dating is

hard, frustrating and a drag,

yet we persevere.

Posted
He kissed with no tongue

It was like kissing a Bissell

He swallowed my face.

 

You are so funny . Seriously , WG if you were a man , you'd be the one for me. I love a man that keeps me laughing, and who shares my taste in movies.

 

But man have you had some bad dates . I hope you're writing a book! I'd buy it for sure!

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Posted
You are so funny . Seriously , WG if you were a man , you'd be the one for me. I love a man that keeps me laughing, and who shares my taste in movies.

 

But man have you had some bad dates . I hope you're writing a book! I'd buy it for sure!

 

Haha thanks Cali for the compliment! I sort of feel like the Kinsey of online dating, researching bad dates...so maybe I'll come up with a WriterGal report like he did for his sex report. Haha! :laugh:

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Posted

They want a good man

I am that good man who cooks

Perhaps it's my looks

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Posted

Your beach thong photo

made me spit-take my coffee

Old men in thongs: EWWW!!!

Posted

Are you kidding me

"My friends need to like you first"

What are you, thirteen?

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Posted

He lives with his mom

no job, no money, no car

Why is he dating?!

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You Can't Hurry Love, (no)

Can't Get No Satisfaction

Haven't Met You Yet

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Too many things, I really don't know where to start. lol

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Posted
Too many things, I really don't know where to start. lol

 

Wax on, wax off Jay.

Think about it and then start.

Online dating...ugh.

Posted

I gave her a rose

She said it was beautiful

She never called back.

 

 

We had seven dates

I suggested a beach date

She said I was cheap.

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Posted

"Ask" isn't enough

"Hi" to make up a haiku

"Goodbye" to mock you

 

In these two haikus

I wrote twenty six times more

Than most profiles

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Posted

Eight emails later

The spark I thought was there, isn't.

He's not interested.

 

 

Don't send me a flirt

"Hey there," with a smiley face

Make an effort, please.

 

 

Give me liberty,

or give me death, because I

hate online dating.

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