Jump to content

Sum up your terrible online dating in haiku form


While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!

Recommended Posts

Posted (edited)

I got the idea from this article on Buzzfeed. Some great haikus!! So let's hear yours. I'll go first.

 

Sum up your terrible online dating experiences in haiku (5-7-5) form....

 

he liked jazz and drugs

felonious monk he is

why me why me why

Edited by writergal
  • Like 3
Posted

Hope you don't show hate

Never tried to online date

Someday....maybe not.

  • Like 2
Posted

So much time spent here

Nothing gained

Emptiness remains.

 

Or

 

Hello gorgeous girl

Discarded

I'm wasting my time.

  • Like 3
Posted

Dating is hard, sure

 

But it could be a lot worse

 

You could marry them

  • Like 7
  • Author
Posted

I paid for his drink

He told me I was ugly

Then tried to kiss me

  • Like 9
Posted

Brother gave me his smartphone

 

 

LS made me download Tinder and Blendr

 

 

Mucho dates made looking sunny

  • Like 1
Posted

huge interest given to me

reciprocated feelings

bye, never saw her again

 

lots in common

go on date

your too young, bye little boy, bye

  • Like 1
Posted

5-7-5 syllables, folks.

  • Like 6
Posted
5-7-5 syllables, folks.

 

Oh I thought words. Back to the drawing board.

  • Like 1
Posted

Smartphone brother gave

LoveShack made me use Tinder

Too much dates no time

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Better Gorilla? ;)

  • Like 2
  • Author
Posted

He was a no show

So I went to the movies

He owes me ten bucks.

  • Like 8
Posted
5-7-5 syllables, folks.

 

Not if you're half awake!

 

 

Her profile is nice.

But its the same as the others.

Where's my unique girl?

  • Like 2
Posted
He was a no show

So I went to the movies

He owes me ten bucks.

 

I giggled more at this than I probably should.

If I could write haiku's as good as you, I probably would!

  • Like 1
Posted

Phone number what you give

Text you, what I'll do cause

This app kinda sucks

  • Like 2
Posted

Her pictures were old

She was quite slim at nineteen

Huge at twenty-eight

  • Like 5
Posted (edited)

He said his daughter

Was like a wife to him, so

I paid the bill fast

Edited by BlueIris
  • Like 6
Posted

Doesn't like whiskey

Says "date rape" with finger quotes

Please call 911

 

Three days, two pictures,

Six texts. We meet --- ten seconds

To know you're not it.

  • Like 3
Posted

I had asked her out

We had a lovely dinner

Then she called me friend.

  • Like 1
Posted

We completely click

Never hear from him again

Goddammit, people.

  • Like 4
  • Author
Posted

His teeth were crooked

He also spit when he talked

My dream man...no way!

  • Author
Posted

He stuck a napkin

up his nose, and it wasn't

even bleeding...God!

  • Like 2
Posted

just trying my luck

send messages randomly

hardly got replied

  • Like 1
Posted

oh, digital man

you've learned how to sell yourself

bigger, better, more

 

first date movie night

you held my hand the whole time

touch of a stranger

 

we've both gone back now

into the virtual void

my internet ex

  • Like 2
Posted

She in four seconds

Will be having none of me

You're a nice guy but

  • Like 1
Posted

You sound real eager,

But can't make eye contact why?

Such disappointment .

 

Another phone call,

Are you on some kind of drug?

Rambling and slurring.

 

You are amazing

So cute and nerdy like me.

What did I do wrong?

 

I'll give one more try.

You like to tell lots of jokes,

Jokes too close to home.

 

 

 

One for every girl I can remember!

  • Like 2
×
×
  • Create New...