I Consider Myself a Stalker

[Darren2013]

Okay it is official. I consider myself a stalker. This probably comes as no surprise to other forum members who have followed my story concerning my crush for the past 2 months. The only thing that may surprise you is that it took me this long to actually admit it.

 

Granted I don't do the typical outward stalking behaviors. I don't purposely try to show up where my crush is and I don't make it a point to be in close vicinity to her. I don't look for excuses to try and have contact with her.

 

No all the stalking I have been doing is internally and in the privacy of my own thoughts. As far as outward behavior I have been doing the opposite of what a typical stalker does just so I am careful to make sure I don't appear as a stalker. That's why instead of purposely going to places at certain times that I know she will be there I do the opposite and purposely avoid her and avoid those places. Yes I go to a different gas station now to put gas in my car.

 

Now I am making every effort to avoid looking at her. It wasn't like I stated at her before but every 1/2 an hour or so on the job I would sneak a glance at her that would last for 1/2 a second. Now I have improved and I did not sneak a glance at her at all yesterday. I eat my lunch in my car now instead of the employee cafeteria.

 

Most typical stalkers would ask other people or talk about their crush to other people. I do the opposite. I don't mention her name even once in conversation. If someone brings her up then I ignore it and quickly change the subject. She becomes the elephant in the room that I think about but I talk about everything else except her.

 

Most typical stalkers try to work the same schedule as their crush and time their arrival and departure to work to be at the exact same time. I have done the opposite of that. I have changed shifts and arrive 4-5 hours much earlier to work than she does and leave about 1-2 hours before she does.

 

I still eavesdrop on conversations she has with other colleagues. Unfortunately I may have given myself away the other day because I could not hold in a laugh.

 

So for the most part all the stalking is done in my head with obsession over her such as thinking about her when I wake up in the morning and thinking about her when I go to sleep.

 

I even had a dream about her last night. In the dream she caught me by surprise by showing up to work much earlier than I expected and she worked with me. I said to her with a smile "I didn't think you would be here this early".

 

Anyway this kind of internal stalking I have described is still legal since the law has no power to arrest someone for what they are thinking about. But that may change in the future. If the government ever finds a justification or loophole to monitor our every thought because of some catastrophic event like another terrorist attack on America then it would not take long before they put citizens behind bars for even thinking about committing a crime or put people like me behind bars for even thinking about a certain woman too much and define that as stalking.

 

You say that would never happen. You never know what kind of justification the government would use that most people would say "okay that makes sense. If we have to monitor everyone's thoughts in order to optimally prevent potential crime then so be it".

Edited October 8, 2014 by Darren2013

[Toodaloo]

Darren, sweetie...

 

PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD WILL YOU JUST END YOUR MISERY AND ASK HER OUT!

 

If she says yes, you can panic come on here, and we will give you some ideas for dates.

 

If she says no, you can come on here, cry, we will pat you on the shoulder and you can move on and find someone else...

 

At this rate you are going to progress to fully blown stalker and get arrested.

 

And stop worrying about what is going on in your head. If some "governmental agency" started monitoring my fly by thoughts they would have run and colonised Mars by now...! Come on now, come back to reality. Head out of the clouds and feet on the ground.

[preraph]

Please for the love of God will you go get psychological help and find out why you're so crippled emotionally that stalking is your number one avenue of pursuit. I'm serious. Your self-esteem is in the crapper. I'm sure there's a reason for that and I think a good therapist could unload the burden off you to some extent and make you see how you got that way and that you don't have to stay that way. I would never advise a guy who's a stalker to continue to pursue the woman. You need to forget about your d**k for ten minutes and go work on your brain.

[Gloria25]

I think there's a line between stalking and checking someone out that you're interested in....

 

Stalking, IMO, has several factors -

 

- Like you're eyeballing someone who has no interest in you and may even said they have no interest in you...In other words, clearly unwanted contact. Even in sexual harassment cases, one has to prove that the contact was unwanted and the "victim" made it clear to the perpetrator. So, let's say "once" you tell a guy to bugg off and he stops, then that's not sexual harassment.

 

- You doing things like breaking into their home. I mean, you shouldn't be invading their space and/or privacy to get to know them. Like if they have a Facebook page and they list what they want the public to see, then how are you stalking them?

 

- Lastly, stalking would be like you parking your car outside or across their place with binoculars - like all day/all night. That's a bit much.

 

I check out my crush a bit, I guess it's easy cuz we cross paths on the regular. I do have to check myself at times to give it a rest....

 

But seriously, how else are you supposed to learn about a person and/or find a way to speak to him. I gather Pick up Artists do the same thing...There was a Seinfeld on whether or not it was ok for Jerry to call up a girl after getting her phone number from a AIDS walk listing.