woopa Posted October 8, 2014 Posted October 8, 2014 (edited) I have recently experienced the end of a three year relationship. Through a lot of the relationship I know that I was not happy and I spent a long time thinking it through and attempting to work up the courage to end it. (I really hated the thought of ever hurting my ex-girlfriend which made it so hard to go through with). Yet despite believing I have made the right decision, I feel so upset that the relationship ended. A large contributing factor to this feeling is that the relationship did not end on bad terms. The reason for the breakup was not something extremely ruining such as lies or cheating. The relationship ended because in my view, we were both on different paths, we wanted different things at this point in our lives (a view point that my ex-girlfriend disagreed with). We are both young in our early 20s and I think that in this point in our lives new and different experiences are shaping so much of who we are. The people we were when we were in high school (at 17 when we started dating) are not who we are now and who we will be in the future. However I am not sure whether my way of thinking is simply too self centred. Am I being what generation Y is so often accused of and being too individualistic and just thinking about me? A main example of this is that I want to travel, do study abroad and I am also very uncertain of the career path that I want to undertake. I have believe that being in a long term relationship at this point in my life, living together with that person can really cause conflicts with change. I find it restricting in making large life choices with decisions that change so often. Often when I would tell my ex-girlfriend about certain plans such as overseas travel or moving to a certain city due to a certain university degree choice it would lead to arguments. My question can be summed up as followed. I have left a three year long relationship that in hindsight was in no way unworkable, it did have certain flaws like all relationships. However I deeply believe that if I had not made the choice to break up with my girlfriend, our future would be where we are married, with a family etc. because I strongly believe she would have never broken up with me. However I do not know how happy I would be in this relationship because it would require me not making life choices that I want to at this time in my life. I have made the decision to break up because I feel as though if I have to change and compromise many of my life decisions and choices as a young adult it would lead to me resenting her. tl;dr Am i right in making this decision to focus on myself and find who I am as a person without compromising for a relationship? Or am I being self centred, selfish and caring only about myself as generation Y is often accused? Edited October 8, 2014 by woopa
d0nnivain Posted October 8, 2014 Posted October 8, 2014 If there were valid reasons to break up the fact that you did have some good memories is not reason to continue something that wasn't working for you. Change is tough. Being outside of a relationship is new for you.
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