Is there a point, where you just gave up for a while? (Updated)

[whatsthepoint22]

Got dumped in a 4 year relationship earlier this year out of the blue. Was long distance for a little under a year. Some signs pointed to her cheating before officially ending it but never bothered to investigate, not like it would change anything. Zero contact since.

 

Met an amazing person soon after the breakup via online dating. Was having an incredible month being with her until she suddenly upped and said 'I'm really not looking for anything serious now' and oops out. Hoped we could stay friends but nope. Awkwardly bumped into her at a convention soon after where neither of us had much to say. Fin.

 

Happened into meeting someone at a bar's social night. We had a great time together and agree to meet again next weekend. 2nd meet goes great too and I ask for her FB account (I use this for texting and am terrible on the phone hence no asking for her number) and we friend on that. Send her a message the next morning, get a read receipt soon after, and still no reply a week+ after even though she is on it all the time and posting status updates. Who knows, maybe she just accidentally glossed my message over? But between all the stuff we're told about being 'clingy' and what not, I haven't even bothered to send another message. I will probably delete her soon but have kept her on probably false hope.

 

So yes, tired; sorry for the vent/whine. OLD didn't work, meeting in person didn't work, LD didn't work. How long do you break from romance for when it's all you want?

[Jules Dash]

Its alright to just be burnt out from dating or pursuing dates at times. Sometimes it is necessary to take a break, readjust yourself, improved yourself and start back up. Everyone just goes through a funk at times. It doesn't mean it is time to give up. Just take a break and not pursue and enjoy yourself for a bit.

[HappyLove]

If a man just asked for my Facebook and not my phone number. I'd wonder how old is he and most importantly I'd assume he's not very interested. You need to get her number and call her up for a proper date if you're interested.

[LostOnes05]

I completely agree with HappyLove! I'm a 27 year old guy and I have to say your first mistake was asking for Facebook friendship. Do you know how many Facebook friends I either don't talk to nor have the desire to?!! Always, always, always, so long as you may live get the phone number. You kinda just torture yourself with looking at her pics and status updates by doing this. I understand how you feel about the dating world. In fact, our stories sound very similar. I'm basically in your position as far as giving up on even trying to date as well. I've come across nothing but liars, cheaters, flakes, and confusion. Bottom line though unfriend her and keep it moving brother (easier said than done...I know), she isn't about getting to know you!

[Kid_Charlemange]

How long do you break from romance for when it's all you want?

 

My list of recent experiences is different from yours, but the same result: Enough is enough.

 

In August, I decided to take a year off. That doesn't mean I won't respond if approached online. (I haven't been approached IRL in about 30 years) That approach led to a recent Las Vegas mini-vacation which I documented in another thread.

 

I dated about 15 different women this year, after my ex dumped me around Christmas. Two were at least close to the same league as my ex; one friendzoned me after six dates, the other dumped me after two months because I wasn't attractive enough. That's when I said to hell with it -- time to cut my losses. (That second woman was almost about the most compatible person I've ever dated. She had her baggage, but it really was manageable. We literally had fun every minute we were together)

 

So in August 2015 (if I'm still alive) I'll give this whole thing another shot. By then, I hope to be down to the weight I was in college; be mostly out of debt if not completely; have a better job; will have moved to a different town than my ex and my three dozen ex-friends here; will have gotten my teeth whitened, etc. At that point I will be as attractive as I can be, short of cosmetic surgery, which is simply too expensive and risky. Ten months is a long time. If I can't pull it off in that period, well...

[TheBladeRunner]

I'm out for awhile, my last mini relationship was a total bust.....she was insane! Nothing wrong with taking time off. Maybe my next victim....er....ahhhhh....date will be a winner!

[Daisy-oliviaWentcher]

I agree. Nothing wrong with taking time off. You know how insanely co-dependent relationships can become. Take some time off to know you first and when you're ready... you can begin again being new and improved you!

[Kid_Charlemange]

I'm out for awhile, my last mini relationship was a total bust.....she was insane! Nothing wrong with taking time off. Maybe my next victim....er....ahhhhh....date will be a winner!

 

Yeah, I hear you.

 

I am no longer at all angry with my ex, because I am 100% convinced that she has severe mental issues. What's sad is that she can hide them 99.9% of the time, because they only manifest themselves when she's in, or approaching, a serious relationship -- and she has, for the past ten years, avoided having any kind of serious relationships.

 

Except of course, with me. Lucky me.

 

She has blocked out literally hundreds of events, conversations, promises, etc. She accuses me of being delusional when I've commented on any of them. Even when I have her promises in a text or email, she accused me of faking them. She goes from completely rational to raging in a span of a couple of seconds if anything she has said or done is questioned -- but only if it's just the two of us. Around others, she appears completely sane.

 

Which means she's done a masterful job of convincing all of our mutual friends that I'm the Bad Guy, that we had broken up months before she cheated on me. A few of the friends have raised an eyebrow at that statement, but most take her word for it -- because, like almost all sociopaths, she's charming, clever, and engaging.

 

And to think that one time I wanted this woman back... oy vey!

[Tik]

I cannot count the number of rejections I've had in the year along my hands haha. But After my last I had a good look and did not like the guy I saw in the mirror. I dropped girls and started to really sort my life out. I'm slowly getting there and I'll be honest it is a hard slog. In regards to woman, I'm starting to raise eye brows and yes, I did relapse and went a after a girl and what a fall that was but that's the final bender. No girls for me until I feel I am happy with myself!

[quidproquo89]

Its alright to just be burnt out from dating or pursuing dates at times. Sometimes it is necessary to take a break, readjust yourself, improved yourself and start back up. Everyone just goes through a funk at times. It doesn't mean it is time to give up. Just take a break and not pursue and enjoy yourself for a bit.

 

dating can be like boxing, can't always just stand there and be repeatedly knocked down, sometimes you've got to retreat to your corner and reassess

[quidproquo89]

I cannot count the number of rejections I've had in the year along my hands haha. But After my last I had a good look and did not like the guy I saw in the mirror. I dropped girls and started to really sort my life out. I'm slowly getting there and I'll be honest it is a hard slog. In regards to woman, I'm starting to raise eye brows and yes, I did relapse and went a after a girl and what a fall that was but that's the final bender. No girls for me until I feel I am happy with myself!

 

I sorta live in an isolated town that I don't want to be in. I've made it work the best I can (starting my own business), but I am in my heart not happy. I try to show the people around me different. I feel the right woman could get me to be happy. I'm in a similar position to you, where the hits keep on coming and I'm not sure where to step forward or step back (sorry for the hijack)

[Tik]

I sorta live in an isolated town that I don't want to be in. I've made it work the best I can (starting my own business), but I am in my heart not happy. I try to show the people around me different. I feel the right woman could get me to be happy. I'm in a similar position to you, where the hits keep on coming and I'm not sure where to step forward or step back (sorry for the hijack)

 

Dude, what I've learnt in my life so far is that if you're not happy, change it. You say you've set up a business; well that means you have some type of intelligence and a financial means to get something done. It's funny we don't realise that with a choice we can simply sell everything off, up shot and go find greener pastures. Like you say, you're unhappy here so why stay?

 

What really stood out in your comment man is 'right woman'. No such thing as that, a chick should not be your be all and end all. Find happiness in YOURSELF. Grab a hobby, go out and exercise, find something that makes you enjoy life. When you stop placing all your value in woman and value your life, woman will come.