Shockwave Posted October 7, 2014 Posted October 7, 2014 I've been dating this woman for about 9 months. We haven't seen each other for about a month and a half but have spoken. We weren't in regular contact for 3 weeks because I had a brief flare up of my depression which she suffers from too. I can't tell you how many times we've been at my house and she's crying about something. We spoke and I told her about my depression. She understood and we moved on. Then, shortly after that she left for CA for some kinda of nanny baby certification training for a week. It was only supposed to be a week in CA but I'll explain later. We spoke while she was in CA and she said, "don't freak out but I think when I get back we should spend a lot more time together. Almost live together." I understood we should spend more time together, even though this did freak me a little bit. A few days after she got to CA she tells me she receives an email from the school saying the class was rescheduled and pushed back two weeks. So now she's out there for a total of three weeks. I find that really strange. I know this isn't a college class but I've never heard of any class being rescheduled only two days before it was set to begin. Two weeks ago she came back home but hasn't made any attempt to contact me. Let me back up a min and give some history about her. I know she's had skin cancer and was involved in a bad car accident that resulted in her not having any cartilage in her left knee. She's on prescription meds for her knee pain as well as for her depression, ADD and OCD. Also, she was supposedly sexually assaulted when she was 17. A few years later she was physically abused by an ex. She also had an unplanned child with this abusive ex. She later gave up the child for adoption. She doesn't get along with her dad at all. He's supposedly kicked her out of her house twice. Once after her rape the second was after she became pregnant. So, in addition to all of this she has serious daddy issues. I've met her parents many times. They love me. I think it's either she's one of the most unlucky people I've ever met or she's full of it. BTW we haven't had sex yet. I chalked this up because she was allegedly raped. I've been in this situation before but it's never taken 9 months. So back on subject. We clicked and really like each other. We formed a bond very quickly. She was crazy about me, calling and texted me all of the time. Things were really good for 7 months. Things changed when I was MIA for a few weeks because of my depression. It was during this time she became distant but we spoke in person and things appeared to be smoothed over. Although after our talk she told me she was expecting to break up with me. I wasn't doing anything differently, we hadn't had so much as a disagreement. It's an understatement to say when she coldly stated she was going to break up with me after being so interested and affectionate, it didn't sit well with me. We hung out after this but then she went to CA for her nanny class. While she was out in CA my birthday came and went. 4 days later I only received a happy birthday text. That pissed me off after I bought her an expensive birthday cake and celebrated her birthday. I asked her about this and she said she had been calling and texting me. Although I never received any texts or vm from her. She has no money, she doesn't have a job and lives in her parent's basement. So because I liked her I used some of my frequent flier miles to buy her tickets out and back to CA. I was happy to help her and it didn't cost me anything. It really wasn't a big deal to me. A few days ago after not hearing from her I wrote her and said we should talk. I wrote her basically saying I thought we were getting pretty close. That I was happy we were there for each other when we needed it. Then I said when I didn't hear from her on my birthday I felt that she wasn't behaving the way I'd expected her to. I wrote that I felt like I was being ignored or even played. All she got out of all of this was she thought I said she had used me, not that we should talk and move forward to see where this went. I wrote her back and explained that my intent was to say we had became close. I reminded her that she used the same word, "played", in one of her texts she sent me. When I told her I didn't like being accused of that she said she wasn't accusing me, that was only the way she felt at the time. Now I say that and she flips out. She says it sounds like I'm keeping score which I'm not. Her dad and her ex do that. Then she reminds me that she was doing all of the initiating at first. That Valentine's Day came and went and no word from me. We had only had 3 or 4 dates by then. It was too early for that in my opinion. Then she even went on to say that she got her cake a week after her birthday. She conveniently forgotten that I was out of town working over her birthday and that I surprised her with the cake, dinner, etc. She even cried about how thoughtful I was and no one had ever done that for her before. So even though I'm not keeping score and she says she's not keeping score she throws all of this in my face like a hypocrite. Like this is somehow my fault. This last weekend my bro and I went home to visit our parents. We were just told our mom was going to have to have heart surgery. That's always serious but she's expected to be fine. So today, after not writing her back for a day and a half because of family she writes me at 3:30 am, "so am taking your silence to mean you have nothing more to say to me. Alrighty ten. Take care." What is everyone's opinion of this girl? Should I even reply? We do have/had a connection so if I do write her should I just tell her we should talk in person, I'm not going to write her because she interprets things other than they were intended? Do I agree with her and say if she's so quick to throw in the towel then I absolutely agree? Or do I just go NC on her? I'm not crazy about this woman right now because of everything I've written. Although it felt like we did have something and she had potential. What do you think of this woman? She's 38 btw, never married.
DrReplyInRhymes Posted October 7, 2014 Posted October 7, 2014 She's fishing for a response, that was her intention. But instead of succumbing, give her detention. Tell her about your family troubles and claims, and tell her that you have no time for these games! She's obviously troubled, and leading you on, You don't see it because of the love song, But as soon as that song stops playing, You'll see her for what she is....a succubus out for manslaying!
Author Shockwave Posted October 8, 2014 Author Posted October 8, 2014 She's fishing for a response, that was her intention. But instead of succumbing, give her detention. Tell her about your family troubles and claims, and tell her that you have no time for these games! She's obviously troubled, and leading you on, You don't see it because of the love song, But as soon as that song stops playing, You'll see her for what she is....a succubus out for manslaying! Hahaha, well said! Anybody else have any thoughts about this woman?
Natsu21 Posted October 8, 2014 Posted October 8, 2014 Girls got issues like Time Magazine Sorry man, I'm not trying to be mean but it seems you're doing all the work and she's not it's time for her to get got. Sorry to say, even if she means well things aren't going very swell you're clearly into her more than she is you So you better make clear your views She's playing like a fiddle keying it up like Mozart While you're sitting hurting she's playing with your heart. I hate to be the bad guy oh who am I kidding, it's kinda fun She needs to change her attitude or you two are done Done like meat over the fire done like Sonny and Cher done like Jordin Sparks and Derulo Now there's no Air Oh but you get the picture or at least I hope you do... You might be looking for the one but she isn't the one for you. -Natsu21
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