opaleye Posted March 9, 2005 Posted March 9, 2005 Hi everyone I just wanted to know your opinions on a sort of weird thing that happened last night. I have been broken up with my ex for around 6 months, the break up was icky- he cheated and text broke up with me (we are both 20 in case anyone was wondering) then he called me a couple of days later to tell me that he was now going out with the girl he cheated on me with. Then he treated me really coldly- one of our mutual friends (tho his friend really more than mine tho I had known him longer) tried to kill himself. My friend used to go out with this guy and is still in love with him but anyway my ex didn't tell me about his friend trying to kill himself and I found out a week later when my friend went to see her ex (the guy who tried to kill himself) and his sister told her that what he had done. Long story short I went to tell my ex because we were under the impression that my friends ex had tried to kill himself that day and I didn't want my ex to find out through the grapevine. Anyway I went to his work, he told me he already knew, was pretty callous about it and said that it happened a week prior. I was upset, trying not to cry because the guy had been my friend since we were 14- my ex was really cold and basically left me to be in shock. I got the directions to the mental hospital my friend was in and drove there because my other friend (the girl) was going to see our friend too. I knew she would be really upset and didn't want her there on her own. So I went there and saw my friend who had tried to kill himself and took my other friend (who was all hysterical) home. Later I got a text from my ex saying that he guessed I had gone to see my friend at the hospital since now our friend didn't want to talk to anyone. He was blaming me for the fact that our mentally unstable friend wanted some time alone. I felt really angry and hurt because all I was trying to do when I went there was to get my friend who was hysterical and save both my friend who tried to kill himself and my other friend from having a very emotionally charged and unhelpfull episode ( because there was a new girlfriend involved with the guy who tried to kill himself and she was there as well) Anyway, basically my ex got all mad at me for interfering and I told him that I was helping not hurting and that was the end of that. So I haven't seen him since the day in his work when I was upset and he was unbelievably cruel and uncaring. Yesterday my best friend got a text from him saying that he was sorry he hadn't text her for a while, how was she, what was she up to and that they should catch up! They didn't even really get on while we were going out!! My friend was pretty confused and stuff and at the end of the texting he said to say hi to me and say sorry. THis is after 5 months of NC. I was like wtf????? WHat do you guys think this was about? I definately don't want to get back with him or anything like that and for all I know he is still with his new gf. So ????? (by the way please don't think that I am obsessed with him or anything after 6 months- I just want to know what you think he was trying to accomplish with the random texting because it has me and my friend rather confuddled!)
HokeyReligions Posted March 9, 2005 Posted March 9, 2005 Let it all go. Stop contacting him -- no matter what. Realize that you are not Ms. Fix-it and you re not responsible for how others might react together, or their breakdowns, etc. You don't control every situation - you only control your own behavior. Let it all go. If someone wants you to help them, or go with them someplace -- they will ask you.
Author opaleye Posted March 9, 2005 Author Posted March 9, 2005 Ok, Hokey, thanks. I get that I should just forget about it all and move on and not let any contact from him even interest me at all. With the whole going with my friend thing- she did ask me but that doesn't really matter. I'm going to take your advice and try not to think about him again. And not post about him or mention him in my posts- because I don't care anymore. That will be my new mantra. Thanks Hokey. I guess what I wanted someone to say was that he must feel bad about how he treated me- because then it would make me feel better. But I have to make myself not care what he may be thinking or his motivations for things because he is not important in my life and he cannot make me feel good or bad about myself anymore. Now I've just got to do what I am writing!! Thanks again.
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