blackcat777 Posted October 7, 2014 Posted October 7, 2014 (edited) I'm having an UP moment, really only my second one where I've felt quite glorious since all of this, so I thought it would be nice to share and focus on the positive feelings... because where attention goes, energy flows. Right? :bunny: I've also always been of the mindset that ENORMOUS and seemingly insurmountable tasks can be conquered if they are taken consistently, in very small pieces, one day at a time. (I wrote some novels that way! It works!) After having many frantic thoughts of either hitchhiking to Mexico or joining a convent, it finally dawned on me that I needed to lose myself in some hobbies, NEW hobbies, with NEW positive associations that would make me feel awesome. So far, I have accomplished: -Joined a vertical fitness class -Started dancing with fire -Commit to a dance practice every night before sleep -Started walking 2-3 miles/day -Made a bunch of jewelry -Go out and have fun with people whenever I can In conjunction with a daily yoga and piano practice, this leaves the days I have to myself about half full. I still have tons of time to kill, but that's life. I'm not quite ready to get back into my mental hobbies or sit still for very long, it feels like my head is full of landmines and I need to keep moving. Another way I've been using the breakup as fire is that I realized absolutely nothing will hurt more than a broken heart, so getting my butt kicked in a fitness class is no big deal. I was friends with a girl on Facebook who did vertical fitness (the sport-oriented and not naked-for-cash version of pole dancing) and I always really admired all the pictures she posted of herself. Her body was so carved, and she did insane things like climb dangerously high flagpoles. I've been ashamed of my upper body strength my entire life, and always said I wanted to learn to do vertical fitness before I'm 30, so... NOW IS THAT SHINY MOMENT! I had my first class and it was so. much. FUN! Practicing at home is also SO MUCH FUN! I'd rather bang my head against a wall than just do situps. This feels way more comprehensive, it's expressive, sensual, and empowering. I seriously think any woman dealing with heartbreak should give it a shot, because it forces you to be comfortable in your body, present with yourself, and having fun with your movements (while challenging yourself!) the whole time. Even though I know I have so much to offer people (physically and immaterially), being dumped still feels horrible, so this is one fun way to counterbalance those awful feelings. I also started learning to spin poi (fire twirl) this year, but I was previously only working with LEDs sporadically, and not real flames. Now I've been practicing every night, and have made huge leaps and bounds in my dance flow. I also manned up and finally bought a pair for spinning with fire. It's another awesome exercise in confidence--no more living in fear of anything. My best friend was like, "So you've been doing nothing but kicking butt lately!!" Anyway, even on days I feel like garbage, I force myself to go ahead and do my things, whether I want to or not. I ALWAYS feel better afterward, if I feel horrible to start (many days I cry through the first half of my walk). But, sometimes, I also just feel really great. And tonight, for the first time, I felt like myself and free, at least for a few hours. I feel sleepy now. Anyway, I encourage everyone to share and hopefully we can collectively make at least one big snowball of happy moments! And in six months from now, I will be so epic. More epic than I've ever been. Edited October 7, 2014 by blackcat777 5
CT98 Posted October 7, 2014 Posted October 7, 2014 Gotten pretty good on the harmonica, always wanted to be able to play it, been doing a lot of walking and you can take a harmonica with you, so you can practice wherever and whenever you want. Bought a new car, my one blew up last week, was a bit of a blessing in disguise as my new one is much nicer. Started playing football once a week, have noticed how much my fitness has improved, despite my cigarette habit. Started realising how this girl is no good for me. That's not to say that I'm over it, but she's being taken down gradually off the pedestal I put her on a long time ago.
Reels Posted October 7, 2014 Posted October 7, 2014 * Read and write about history, philosophy, religion, biographies, etc. * Helped people with their general affairs and love stories. * Completed some pending tasks.
AaronSG Posted October 7, 2014 Posted October 7, 2014 (edited) Some of the positive things I've done since my breakup... 1) Got back in touch with some old friends, friends that wouldn't come around anymore due to issues they had with my ex-fiance. 2) Been getting reconnected with my Son, been having him over more and more. He wouldn't come around much when my ex-fiance was here, he had issues with her. 3) Been getting reconnected with my ex-wife, not romantically, just socially, plus she's newly married. Just reconnected so now both parents once again can now work for the greater good of our Son. My ex-wife despised my ex-fiance, she wouldn't visit nor talk to me when she was with me. 4) I moved into a different place, a new home if you will. Had to respect myself and my emotional and mental health enough to know that the old place with all it's visual reminders and memories was no longer a safe and healthy place for me to live, so to respect myself, I moved. 5) Got involved in some local support groups, one for my personal problems, and another is a once a week codependency group, which I'm learning a lot about myself, finding out that I do indeed play some parts in the implosion of my failed relationships. 6) As of recent I've gone outside my fear and comfort zones and started to talk to people again. I'm trying to give myself the gift of 're-engaging the world and life again. That's just some of the things I've done nice for myself since my breakup. Edited October 7, 2014 by AaronSG 1
tory1012 Posted October 7, 2014 Posted October 7, 2014 Positive things that I have done since m break-up 1. I have tackled a gambling addiction that I had struggled with for the last 8 months and will be seeking counselling to further aid this struggle 2. I have become self-sucificient and moved into a place that I love. ( I relied heavily on my ex financially ). 3. I have lost weight - Not a huge amount but it's substantial. I have other things I wish to accomplish however these three things seem to be the most important for now.
Candy_Pants Posted October 7, 2014 Posted October 7, 2014 *I changed what we were going to name the baby to a name I wanted to name her. A name that is very special to me and gives me strength. *Now, instead of focusing on a very selfish man, I am focusing on the needs of my innocent child and myself. It's so much fun caring for her and planning our future!! *Getting back to my pre-pregnancy weight just by eating healthy and breastfeeding. Once I can exercise I will be walking/jogging, then doing kickboxing/lifting. 3
JDPT Posted October 7, 2014 Posted October 7, 2014 - graduated college regardless of how difficult it was my last semester due to BU. I managed to do exceptionally well. - got my ass back in shape regardless of fracturing both my tibias a few months. Now I'm hot and you can only wish. - working on myself to become the person I've so wanted to be - ordered a new car which should arrive around my bday In a few months -enrolled in college and will start in January for a polarized career change which I'm very excited about - starting to solidify relationships rather than severing them - oh and yeah I'm unstoppable! 1
Author blackcat777 Posted October 7, 2014 Author Posted October 7, 2014 This cheers me up so much to read everyone else's accomplishments. Thanks for posting and please keep sharing!
alampnamedbob Posted October 8, 2014 Posted October 8, 2014 --I am doing fairly well in my graduate studies since the semester started again. --I have gotten in excellent physical shape and have lost about 10 pounds. --I have gotten in touch with several friend groups who have carried through my ordeal. --I have started planning a potential trip to India next summer. Traveling around India for a month with my friends sounds cool. --I have continued my Bible devotions every night. This has helped me significantly and combined with prayer has gotten me through the hard moments.
Lalocket Posted October 10, 2014 Posted October 10, 2014 - started looking for a new job - met up with friends that i hadnt spoken to in ages - joined a new gym - tried yoga - lost weight - started coming off my meds which i'd been on for 6 years - socialising with people from work - went overseas to visit a friend i honestly don't think i would have done any of these things if we had stayed together. only in hindsight do you realise that everything wasn't as great as you thought it was when it ended..
Hoosfoos Posted October 12, 2014 Posted October 12, 2014 Started going to the gym regularly. I'm in great shape now. Bought a new mountain bike and have been riding the local trails. Gone back to school full time, quit my ****ty job that was making me miserable. I still feel my life was much better when I had her, though.
Bumpin in My Trunk Posted October 13, 2014 Posted October 13, 2014 I started working out regularly again. Although this weekend I slacked off Played some guitar, made some music on my computer. Been playing futbol again, although not as regularly. I will increase the intensity of these activities
Jet Lag Posted October 13, 2014 Posted October 13, 2014 I've also always been of the mindset that ENORMOUS and seemingly insurmountable tasks can be conquered if they are taken consistently, in very small pieces, one day at a time. (I wrote some novels that way! It works!) And in six months from now, I will be so epic. More epic than I've ever been. You go girl! Maybe I can write my novel using that advice...I surely should be able to describe the broken heart scenes now! I tried pole dancing once...believe it or not, I got motion sickness so never went back despite really enjoying it. I have been doing bits and pieces...forcing myself to go out even though I don't really want to...went for a 32km bike ride...did pick up the guitar once...went to a political party dinner on my own and was inspired enough to go door knocking for them (never really considered myself political). I don't have your energy yet but feel I am slowly progressing. Have been no contact now for about 5 days (though I ran into him yesterday, I said hello and that was it), managing not to read his horoscope when I read mine and although I have lots of sad times, I am definitely moving forward. Thanks for your post. Inspirational!
Kyle7 Posted October 13, 2014 Posted October 13, 2014 Might not seem massive to anyone but I've completely stopped smoking weed since my ex left me. Been 6 weeks now and from going from smoking every night to nothing at all now and not even thinking about it anymore I at least feel so proud of myself for that. So determined to keep this up aswell, most of my friends smoke it and I've been round them when they've been smoking and I still haven't touched it no matter how easy it would of been to give in. Just wish I done this a long time ago..
Feelbettersoon Posted October 13, 2014 Posted October 13, 2014 Started to put on weight (lost too much during BU) de-cluttered my belongings Reconnected with old friends Passed my driving test
maradona Posted October 18, 2014 Posted October 18, 2014 Hmmmm lets see some of them might not seem too positive but there better than before Stopped wanting to "unalive" myself lol Talking to people again, laughing with out having to force it Talk about her significantly less than before Lost 35 pounds in first month n half after break up Hit the gym hard better shape than ever New hairstyle new look Soccer, sports 3x per week New job Closer than ever with friends and family Despite the sadness of losing her, I feel that I am a better person without her in my life I finally believe more often than not that she's no good, that there is someone out there so much better - hard to be worse lol Finally I don't think I need someone in my life for me to be happy. I own my happiness nobody else. It's my life and my responsibility to get the most out of it.
Ruby Slippers Posted October 18, 2014 Posted October 18, 2014 In the year since my break-up... I've gone on some fun dates with guys who treated me really well. I've cleaned up my diet and lost about 10 pounds. I made a huge move back to my home state so I could get more financially stable and redefine my priorities in life. I joined a public speaking group, something I've been meaning to do for years. I've gone to a non-denominational/New Thought spiritual center a few times and am exploring my spiritual side more.
richburn Posted October 18, 2014 Posted October 18, 2014 Hello, Still heart broken but... -- Confronted my abusive dad - not sure this was a good idea -- Joined a gym been regularly for 2 weeks -- Inquired about 2 walking groups -- Become more open hearted -- Read loads about abandonment - more self aware -- Joined a cooking class - love it -- Reconnected with my aunt who I love -- Learned how to deal with recent anxiety attacks - getting better at it -- Managed to hold down my job -- Mediated every day -- Partially decluttered my home - its an ongoing project -- Redecorated a room Still need a couple of extra things to fill the evenings? Any ideas? Richard x
True Gent Posted October 18, 2014 Posted October 18, 2014 (edited) Moved into 'my own' place and left 'ours' in the dust. Got physically fitter. New clothes and slightly different image. Cashed in the engagement ring and spent the money all on me. Worked hard to buy all of the stuff I sacraficed for her. Trying new things. Been dating despite meeting no one special yet, I've been out there. Recognising my own qualities and working hard to be as good as I can be. Oh and possibly the most important realisation, I didn't know how strong I could be. Edited October 18, 2014 by True Gent 1
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