Do guys go into relationships with girls they don't like? Why do they do that?

[ascendotum]

I feel the same about men who complain about their wives. I think "well why the did you marry her then?"

 

Same story.

 

I'd cut some slack on married people who complain about their spouses, because so often its a case of the person they fell in love with and got engaged to, is not the same person they are now living in a hum drum marriage with 7-10 yrs later.

Generally I find its wives complaining their husband didn't change (grow) or now takes her for granted or the husband who complains their wife is not the same person she was before the house got bought or she became a mum or before life got bogged down in work/kids/bills/routine.

[Gloria25]

I had an awful case where I think the guy is plain and simple, being a dick.

 

He claimed that he'd had a crush on me for years and that I was his "dream girl". We were very good friends for about 10 years.

 

He was with his girlfriend for 3 years when he told me he had always liked me. Throughout that 3 years, even before telling me he liked me, he always told me how he didn't really like his girlfriend, she was psycho, annoying, they never had sex, etc... blah blah that whole routine.

 

Well, turned out I liked him too, and in my silly head I thought "I like him, he likes me, he doesn't like his girlfriend, so he will finally just end things with her and we will start dating."

 

LOL no, that's no what happened. He put it off, made excuses, strung me along for almost a year, and finally I realized he was making a fool of me and I took off for good, and ended the friendship. At some point after we stopped being friends, they broke up and got back together. Yeah, the dude who acted so desperate to be free from her, got back with her. Huh. Haha.

 

So, it wasn't about waiting for "something better", because he claimed I was the dream girl he always wanted (some bullcrap), and me being so desperate to be wanted, latched onto that like a lovesick schoolgirl. And clearly, the "I hate my girlfriend" show was bullcrap too.

 

Guys like this are just bullcrapping.

 

Well, maybe you were the "real deal" and he was too scared of that...

[Kid_Charlemange]

This is just a curious question. Do guys go into relationships with girls they don't like?

 

I think men are considerably less picky about what they're looking for -- this is just my opinion based on years of observations. Women seem to have a laundry list of "must haves," and anyone who is not 100% in line with that list is eliminated pretty quickly. Unless, of course, the guy is amazingly hot, then he can get away with anything.

 

Another way of putting this is, a guy will say "Well, she's 80% of what I'm looking for. That's good enough," While a woman will often say "80% rounds down to zero."

 

Again, this is just what I've experienced.

[Daisy-oliviaWentcher]

I was in a toxic relationship where I would go back and forth afraid to be alone. I think it's a woman and man issue not just a man issue. Sometimes to the fear of being a lone is so stifling that people would sacrifice independent happiness for the sadness of being with someone they don't like. A person who is independent, happy, carefree and is okay being with themselves also can intimidate some people. I'm not sure what the answer is, but your jealous friend is a bit weird by the way and if he is jealous because you are with someone well.... he should get a life and possibly mind his own business.

[yololin]

Ill start with an observation. After a relationship, if it hasn't quite worked out, girls will always be the first to delete photos and evidence to move on. Whereas guys will more often than not, keep the evidence. For whatever reason. Often I find from my female friends that they are very good at starting a 'wipe and restart' process as soon as they have made up their mind. I always ask them how they could be so heartless. Because as a guy, I think we treasure those naked couple selfies as a totem and as a memory.

 

Through our biology and how we are socialised, I think men just aren't as good as handling strong emotional trauma as women.

 

Being a primary school teacher I've noticed that girls are just a lot more emotionally mature from a young age, and boys are always playing catchup. The social and emotional insights which boys make are often years behind where the girls are.

 

Women have had to deal with a lot more emotional disturbance from a much younger age (eg periods, bonding with friends/dynamics etc) and therefore have developed more adaptive strategies to cope. Men can grow up with a luxury of being relatively emotionally untested amongst peers who are equally emotionally stunted.

 

when **** hits the fan and guys really fall in love, I think guys can fall harder and deeper, without a safety net.

[spiderowl]

Paying attention to what your ex is doing and getting wound up about it is not disinterest. Your guy friends might be complaining about their exes but it's probably because the exes are not paying them attention. If they are constantly moaning about someone, they are addicted to them. If people mean nothing to us, we barely notice them.

[Natsu21]

Men can't get sex as easily as women.

 

If a man breaks up a relationship, it usually has a chance of reconciliation.

 

If a woman does it, it's over.

 

Why? People tend to appreciate things more than when it's not an abundance of it. It's common sense.

[shinealight]

Trust me I know someone who thought this girl was perfect, even his soulmate. Turns out she was different, and had anger probs. It ended into 2 years till he ended it with her. He tried to do it since one and a half years, but whenever he tried she shouted at him making it worse. Think he is glad it is all over.

[gaius]

He claimed that he'd had a crush on me for years and that I was his "dream girl". We were very good friends for about 10 years.

 

He was with his girlfriend for 3 years when he told me he had always liked me. Throughout that 3 years, even before telling me he liked me, he always told me how he didn't really like his girlfriend, she was psycho, annoying, they never had sex, etc... blah blah that whole routine.

 

Well, turned out I liked him too, and in my silly head I thought "I like him, he likes me, he doesn't like his girlfriend, so he will finally just end things with her and we will start dating."

As Phoe points out with her story, it's actually a way of building intimacy with you Ashley. Making it seem like he's really available in some way. It's meant to inspire the same reaction in you as it did in her. People don't stay with partners they really hate that much.

[boilingpoint]

Men can't get sex as easily as women.

 

If a man breaks up a relationship, it usually has a chance of reconciliation.

 

If a woman does it, it's over.

 

Why? People tend to appreciate things more than when it's not an abundance of it. It's common sense.

 

This is basically it. Any good looking woman always has options. Not so much for guys even if they are quite good looking. Men have it harder and it's pointless pretending otherwise.

 

It's the whole reason men go crazy at the end of relationships and women don't. In the end the man is left to fester while the woman will have a short crying session, get a rebound (another guy who came to them) and forget about the whole thing... drives me insane.

 

Women aren't 'more mature' or stable than men, they are just a lot more likely to have the tyranny of choice on their side.

 

And after rejecting all those men, who were probably more than good enough, that girl runs into a 'player' (a successful, attractive man with options) and the tables are turned... it's called poetic justice.