blur2007 Posted October 7, 2014 Posted October 7, 2014 I feel like crap. I was seeing a girl for a few months only to find out I'm the other guy. I was starting to fall for this girl and now it's starting to tear me apart. I know that I shouldn't depend on another person for my own happiness and I don't. I've been alone for some time and it takes alot for me to open up to someone emotionally. But it seems whenever I do I always end up hurt and alone. My longest relationship was only 6 months before she decided to break up with me for she can have her fun with someone else and it wouldn't be cheating. It seems like everyone I attract and have a genuine interest in turns out to be someone who uses me or leaves me until they find something better. I feel like giving up and just working and having alot of money and just have my own fun. I don't even know why im posting this because I know I'm just going to get the same cliche responses. I guess I just needed to let it out somewhere somehow. What is love anyways.
Assasda Posted October 7, 2014 Posted October 7, 2014 Youve posted here before. You knew that you were the other dude. Youre just a sucker man. She must've had a big smile on her face when she saw you coming. You do sound like you need someone to make you happy. You dont just say those things. You have to live them. So give up, or whatever and make yourself happy
quidproquo89 Posted October 7, 2014 Posted October 7, 2014 take your time to recover, vent on here, do things you enjoy, spend time with friends..... and then your gonna have to go out there and have another go 2
Tik Posted October 7, 2014 Posted October 7, 2014 It seems like everyone I attract and have a genuine interest in turns out to be someone who uses me or leaves me until they find something better. This hit a string in me that I too had to reply as I too am like you buddy. Don't lose hope but focus on what I bolded and underlined. You say they leave you for 'something better', well if you consider all this time the common denominator is; you. This is the thought I went through in between wallowing in my self pity. So what do you do? You brush yourself off. You get back up and you start making yourself into 'that guy'. I'm not gonna lie, it's a long hard road and it's so easy to just be lazy and go back to your old self but guess what, nothing worked out with your old self. I'm not there yet I'll be honest, but it is funny how people notice the change in you and how when you start focussing on yourself and placing YOUR happiness in the choices you make and do, you find peace and happiness. It's ironically at this point that woman start to notice and come after you - when in the first place, they don't want you when you chase after them. 1
Redhead14 Posted October 7, 2014 Posted October 7, 2014 (edited) I feel like crap. I was seeing a girl for a few months only to find out I'm the other guy. I was starting to fall for this girl and now it's starting to tear me apart. I know that I shouldn't depend on another person for my own happiness and I don't. I've been alone for some time and it takes alot for me to open up to someone emotionally. But it seems whenever I do I always end up hurt and alone. My longest relationship was only 6 months before she decided to break up with me for she can have her fun with someone else and it wouldn't be cheating. It seems like everyone I attract and have a genuine interest in turns out to be someone who uses me or leaves me until they find something better. I feel like giving up and just working and having alot of money and just have my own fun. I don't even know why im posting this because I know I'm just going to get the same cliche responses. I guess I just needed to let it out somewhere somehow. What is love anyways. First of all, you are correct in saying you shouldn't depend on someone else for your happiness. They should enhance it though. Break ups are about grieving. Men and women must allow themselves to go through the grieving process each time. Some situations will take longer to process. Allow yourself to properly grieve. Remember you are grieving through that process so that you don't turn all that's happened on yourself. If you've gone straight into a new relationship or dating scenario right after another and that fails too (as result of not truly being over the previous) you've extended the process. Be good to yourself, remember your qualities and be the best you can be. Remember the phoenix who rose from the ashes and became stronger as a result. What is love anyway? It's an intangible and wonderful feeling that comes from within and attracts another who wants to know you from the inside out. It is not about finding or searching. It comes to you usually when you least expect it. There will certainly be more pain through dating experiences, but anything that comes to you easily doesn't have as much value. Each experience should make you stronger. Each one should be a learning experience and, remember that most of the people we date have had similar, maybe worse, experiences. Have fun with the dating process. Continue to make yourself happy. As Tik said above "it is funny how people notice the change in you and how when you start focussing on yourself and placing YOUR happiness in the choices you make and do, you find peace and happiness". Edited October 7, 2014 by Redhead14 2
cdt76 Posted October 7, 2014 Posted October 7, 2014 Youve posted here before. You knew that you were the other dude. Youre just a sucker man. She must've had a big smile on her face when she saw you coming. You do sound like you need someone to make you happy. You dont just say those things. You have to live them. So give up, or whatever and make yourself happy Why don't you just kick the guy in the balls while he is down?! For crying out loud, the guy is hurting and we all have our moments where we just want to talk to someone and get some positive feedback. Ever heard of that? Geeze, it's like this site is a bunch of bitter b$tches who get off on making other's feel even worse. Give the guy a break. 3
Tayken Posted October 7, 2014 Posted October 7, 2014 Why don't you just kick the guy in the balls while he is down?! For crying out loud, the guy is hurting and we all have our moments where we just want to talk to someone and get some positive feedback. Ever heard of that? Geeze, it's like this site is a bunch of bitter b$tches who get off on making other's feel even worse. Give the guy a break. Your Sir / Ma'am......took the words right out of my gob! Very well said @OP....consider this one of those obstacles in life, dig deep for that courage and just leap over it. However, make sure you have lessons learned from this, and you will be better prepared for a next time. If it's any consolation, you know karma will take care of the situation pretty good. Keep your head high, smile and wave 2
cdt76 Posted October 7, 2014 Posted October 7, 2014 While I have no faith in Karma at all, I do believe in making you a better you regardless if someone else see's it. We all go through life and hit road bumps. Some of us actually wreck, smash through a tree and hit a dump truck but we survive. I'm probably at the lowest point in my personal happiness since 2009 because of a situation just like yours. It's hard to keep the faith in love and it's even more difficult to play the dating game when you know the only thing you really want in life is to love and be loved. Somehow, we have to figure out how to enjoy life everyday regardless of being alone. It's the hardest thing I've ever tried to do, second only to forgiveness but it's a work in progress. I'm not sure if I will ever find the one that completes my happiness but I'm pretty sure I'm not the type to give up. Each day has possibilities. We have to teach ourselves how to see them and then have the balls to actually act upon them. 3
LostOnes05 Posted October 7, 2014 Posted October 7, 2014 Taken this as a lesson that people can be real scumbags and have no problem with it. It is very sad that you can't take people at face value, but that's life (I learned the hard way, as did you). What you must do now is work on yourself and put everything into perspective. Understand that this is not a woman you want. She does not behold the characteristics that make her a suitable partner for anyone at this point (at least not until it happens to her or she grows up). Take time to realize that when people do this, it's not you that is lacking in something...it's actually them. Use this alone time to grieve, not the loss of a relationship but that someone you cared for was able to hurt you in this way. Things will get better! 2
quidproquo89 Posted October 7, 2014 Posted October 7, 2014 Why don't you just kick the guy in the balls while he is down?! For crying out loud, the guy is hurting and we all have our moments where we just want to talk to someone and get some positive feedback. Ever heard of that? Geeze, it's like this site is a bunch of bitter b$tches who get off on making other's feel even worse. Give the guy a break. wouldn't be the first time matey has come out with unhelpful comments
quidproquo89 Posted October 7, 2014 Posted October 7, 2014 While I have no faith in Karma at all, I do believe in making you a better you regardless if someone else see's it. We all go through life and hit road bumps. Some of us actually wreck, smash through a tree and hit a dump truck but we survive. I'm probably at the lowest point in my personal happiness since 2009 because of a situation just like yours. It's hard to keep the faith in love and it's even more difficult to play the dating game when you know the only thing you really want in life is to love and be loved. Somehow, we have to figure out how to enjoy life everyday regardless of being alone. It's the hardest thing I've ever tried to do, second only to forgiveness but it's a work in progress. I'm not sure if I will ever find the one that completes my happiness but I'm pretty sure I'm not the type to give up. Each day has possibilities. We have to teach ourselves how to see them and then have the balls to actually act upon them. matey is exactly right, you just have to keep picking yourself up. You get stronger too and learn how to deal with this sort of thing better as you go along.
Author blur2007 Posted October 7, 2014 Author Posted October 7, 2014 Thank you for all the replies you are all amazing. It does hurt but I know I will get better. I do need to see things from a different perspective and need to focus on myself which is something I wasn't doing when I was seeing this girl. And I know karma will help take of what needs to be taken care of. I will pick myself back up and I will be stronger. And as far as all you that are going through the same or other obstacle I hope you will all find your way and be happy!
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