creyente7 Posted October 6, 2014 Posted October 6, 2014 So my girlfriend and I have gotten pretty close to breaking up due to me controlling her and not trusting her our entire relationship. She just couldnt bear with it anymore. We took a week off but stayed minimal contact. Minimal contact was enough for her to realize that being single was better than being with me. She said she missed me as a person but not the relationship. She did take me back but things havent been the same, she's not sweet anymore, doesn't call me babe, pretty plain and boring in texts. I've confronted her about this and she said that she's not trying to be cold, she can't helpt it. We talked about being honest with each other and no more controlling will be happening. The weird part is that when we're together we still laugh, she calls me babe but not too often, she calls me by my name which i'm not use to because she started the babe thing and throughout our entire relationship thats what she always called me. I told her to be completely honest with me from now on and I will trust her. I told her the same, that I will show her she can trust me. I don't know if I just need to give this time or just get used to her being like this...I told her that if she can't love me then I can't force her and that it's better we go our separate ways, but she's persistent on working through this and us working out...I just can't seen to get used to her calling me by my name and not being all bubbly because that's the image I always saw her as. She's really bubbly and joyful and happy. She did say she is happy with me, and wants to be with me and missed our times when we didn't have problems. So what do you guys think? Hang on and be the man she fell for? Or just give it time or give her space? I texted her this morning and said "goodmorning love!" She replied with "goodmorning" when before she would be like "goodmorning hotness! Hope you have a good day. Mwuah " it kills me everytime she's being plain cuz i feel rejected in a way, but this maybe just a phase cuz we just recently got back
ExpatInItaly Posted October 6, 2014 Posted October 6, 2014 Give her time. If she broke up with you because you were too controlling and distrustful, she likely won't want to dive head-first back into the way things used to be. It clearly didn't work for her that way. Give the new beginning time to grow again. You mentioned in your post that if she's honest, you will trust her. What did she do to break that trust? It seems you shifted that on to her, so what happened to lead you to feel this way toward her?
mammasita Posted October 6, 2014 Posted October 6, 2014 This is the same girl that went out on a date with a coworker, right? I think you're trying to hold together something that's beyond repair.
Diezel Posted October 6, 2014 Posted October 6, 2014 Yep, he started a whole new thread because he was tired of people telling him to just break it off with her. He wants to get advice that tells him how to get her back. That's all.
Author creyente7 Posted October 6, 2014 Author Posted October 6, 2014 Give her time. If she broke up with you because you were too controlling and distrustful, she likely won't want to dive head-first back into the way things used to be. It clearly didn't work for her that way. Give the new beginning time to grow again. You mentioned in your post that if she's honest, you will trust her. What did she do to break that trust? It seems you shifted that on to her, so what happened to lead you to feel this way toward her? It was out of my own insecurity and trust issues, I've been cheated on in the past and it carried over to this relationship. For two years I've had this trust issues and no matter how much I told her I would trust her she can't shake how I hurt her in the past cuz of my insecurity. It did lead her to hide things from me and lie about it but she's not to blame cuz I caused it to happen. Had I trusted her from the start and not be insecure non of the hiding and lying would happen. She's never done anything to break my trust, I can't really count what she hid and lied to me recently because like I said I led her to do it. But we promised each other that from now on we can tell each other anything and I will trust her. She's always dropped hints that I ignored. Stuff like "babe, we're not married, I should be allowed to hangout with the opposite sex." Stuff like that, and I will always come up with a reason to not let her go stuff like "guys only want one thing from girls, what if he tries to get you drunk" stuff like that, and she's always said "I've had male friends before we started dating, and none of them wanted anything sexual with me". Like I said I've been cheated on in the past, I need to live past that... Ugh I just want to prove it to her already that I trust her. But only time will prove that
Author creyente7 Posted October 6, 2014 Author Posted October 6, 2014 This is the same girl that went out on a date with a coworker, right? I think you're trying to hold together something that's beyond repair. I don't know if it was a date, people were saying that it's okay for your SO to go out with other people as long as they know boundaries. My gf had male friends way before we started dating, she would even go to her male friends house with no intentions, just simply hangout. I don't know...I'm not getting my hopes up but the least I can do is show her I trust her. I've controlled her our entire relationship so why not give this chance to prove things differently
mammasita Posted October 7, 2014 Posted October 7, 2014 I don't know if it was a date, people were saying that it's okay for your SO to go out with other people as long as they know boundaries. My gf had male friends way before we started dating, she would even go to her male friends house with no intentions, just simply hangout. I don't know...I'm not getting my hopes up but the least I can do is show her I trust her. I've controlled her our entire relationship so why not give this chance to prove things differently Um, if my BF went out with another woman one on one, he may as well never contact me again, because **** that. Between your insecurities and grasping at this farce of a relationship, you're not seeing reality.
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