TheCarlos Posted October 6, 2014 Posted October 6, 2014 Hi everyone, I am in love with one of my friend, but she is already taken. Not married but she has kids so even more commitment on her side. Her relationship asn't been going so well in the past few years and I think she as feeling for me, but still I am confuse on what to do next. Back storie, we have been friend now for 6-7 years. We pratice the same sports so we see each other about twice a week. About 4 years ago I started to have strong feeling for her. We hanged out regularly with our common friends and once in a whie but very rarely one on one. About 3 years ago we had an especially drink heavy night. She dance with me pretty suggestively the whole night. At the end of the evening, we were walking home with a couple of our friend. She told me the her relationship was really strugling and that she was about to leave her boyfriend. She even had sold a part of her house to buy a condo. She then proceed to invite me to go and visit her condo. Its 3:30 am, so she is basicaly asking me to go sleep with her. Thinking it was the right thing to do (which it was, she was uber drunk) I politly refused even thougt I wanted to. We never really talked about that ever after. At the end of that season, I had to go througt surgery and I stop training for the following 3 years. Now I restarted to train this summer. She was still there and the crush came back as soon as I saw her. Since then she as been hinting she still like me (like saying her motivation to train would be back if I stayed, saying she had been thinking of me while I was away, etc.) We have been haging out a lot recently but nothing major came up, just a few flirt here and there. But last week I asked her out for lunch. She had the day off and had planned to do some work on her condo (she still has it even thougt she never left her boyfriend) but that I didn't know. She accepted regardless, went back home to shower, change and went back to her condo to paint after. That week, she email me at the office every day just to say good morning. Thursday after our training, I was talking with some guys in our team when she left she saying later to everyone casually (she seems a bit more shy with me while there are a lot of people around). Since she had mail me a good morning that morning, I texted her with a good night and she replied with asking me out for a drink. I accepted obviously and for whatever reason, she garbbed the bill. Now is it possible that a girl acting like this not be interested? We are friend but this is way more involvement that any of my other girl friend. I know the right thing to do would be to let it go, but I can't anymore, I have to try something, so what should I do. Continue to hang out and eventually have a chat about it (I doubt she will ever start it). OR should I do anything else. Thanks!
Author TheCarlos Posted October 7, 2014 Author Posted October 7, 2014 Sorry for the long post, but anyone has any feedback?
avocado1 Posted October 7, 2014 Posted October 7, 2014 I don't think you should try anything. Whether or not she's flirting, I don't think it would be right to intrude on their relationship. She is still with him, and until that changes, I don't think there is anything you should do to try and change that. Let things unravel in their own time-if it does at all. Sometimes girls in long-term committed relationships flirt with other men- I guess its a way to boost their self-esteem and feel like they are still "attractive" to other males. Besides, if you did try something and she ended up leaving him for you, what would that mean for your relationship? If she cheats once, and leaves her man for someone else once, she could very well do it again. BASICALLY, leave things as they are. As friends.
mightycpa Posted October 7, 2014 Posted October 7, 2014 I think you should leave her alone for other reasons. If she's with those kids' father, then you're signing up for having all of them in your life. You don't really want that. You'll spend years as an outsider. Get yourself a nice girl with no kids, just like that guy did. You can do it.
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