Applepie3 Posted October 6, 2014 Posted October 6, 2014 MY boyfriend been distancing himself last time I heard from him is when I called him to see how he was because I haven't heard from him,lately he's been going a lot of days without even contacting me,I already talked to him about this and he says its because he's busy looking for a job and studying for school I totally understand that because I'm also busy but my thing is how could you be soo busy but have the time to post on social media,hang with friends but not have the time to at least see how I'm doing I felt like I'm the only person putting in any effort,he hasn't contacted me in 5 days,I text him friday and said. Hey,how are you? I haven't heard from you in a week.is something wrong;do you just not want to be in a relationship with me anymore?,I mean even if you are busy it doesn't take much to text/call to see how I'm doing because I know a lot of people that have hectic schedules but still make time for there significant other,if you have time to get on social media then I would think you would also have time to at least say something to me. Then a day later he texted hey amber;I texted him and said hey? that was yesterday he still haven't said anything back to me about the situation at hand im very confused and sad at this point,what should I do?
mammasita Posted October 6, 2014 Posted October 6, 2014 When someone wants to be with you, nothing will keep them away. What do I think you should do? I think you should find someone who wants to be with you as much as you want to be with them because this guy isn't it. 2
Gloria25 Posted October 6, 2014 Posted October 6, 2014 I think you "have" your answer... I mean, I do get busy at times where I've put off dating - but if in an established RL, how hard is it to send a quick "how are you?" "Kiss, kiss, hugs, hugs" text? 2
sdrawkcaB ssA Posted October 6, 2014 Posted October 6, 2014 MY boyfriend been distancing himself last time I heard from him is when I called him to see how he was because I haven't heard from him,lately he's been going a lot of days without even contacting me,I already talked to him about this and he says its because he's busy looking for a job and studying for school I totally understand that because I'm also busy but my thing is how could you be soo busy but have the time to post on social media,hang with friends but not have the time to at least see how I'm doing I felt like I'm the only person putting in any effort,he hasn't contacted me in 5 days,I text him friday and said. Hey,how are you? I haven't heard from you in a week.is something wrong;do you just not want to be in a relationship with me anymore?,I mean even if you are busy it doesn't take much to text/call to see how I'm doing because I know a lot of people that have hectic schedules but still make time for there significant other,if you have time to get on social media then I would think you would also have time to at least say something to me. Then a day later he texted hey amber;I texted him and said hey? that was yesterday he still haven't said anything back to me about the situation at hand im very confused and sad at this point,what should I do? You need him to grow up and mature. Obviously you need something more than what he is giving. Maybe have a cool off time with him. So far he has taken a week??? Why not let him be for another. By then you should see your answer. Just be strong for yourself and your needs, if things turn to he way side.
Zahara Posted October 6, 2014 Posted October 6, 2014 I don't think he is invested anymore and is probably doing a fade out on you. When someone is invested in you, they will take the time to communicate with you FIRST before expending that time and energy on a social site. Granted he is busy, but busy isn't an excuse because it doesn't take but seconds to send a text. As much time as he spends connecting with his friends, he can allocate some time with you. His response was your answer. I don't think he is avoiding relationship issues but avoiding you and the relationship all together. Don't wait for him to decide your fate, you do it for you. 2
d0nnivain Posted October 6, 2014 Posted October 6, 2014 You can't fix a relationship through texts. Get together with him. If that is a no go, assume he no longer wants to date & move on.
arthursel Posted October 8, 2014 Posted October 8, 2014 My experience is the same. I was so insure that many times i had the same wonderings. I did not know how to act. Always being afraid to lose the girl. it was untill i took relationship advice which teached me a lot. The most valuable lesson out of all the advices is that i finally can say to myself: this is who i am. i want everything to be discussed in my relationship. If it is not possible then i know it will not be the relationship i want. read here. I think it will bring you the same as it did for me. good luck
WhatIsLove2014 Posted October 8, 2014 Posted October 8, 2014 It's true...if someone wants to be with u or likes u they put in the effort. I've been dating someone with no titles for two months...he is very busy but he will always check in, even if it's one message to see how I'm doing. Today he said hi I hope u had a good day, I got off of work late and I'm tired, don't be mad, gonna head to sleep but I just wanted to say hi. Your guy is hanging out with friends, posting on social media and won't even acknowledge what you said. You answer is definitely there. He is a jerk...dump him because he is fading away.
Emme Posted October 8, 2014 Posted October 8, 2014 One thing that is important to your post is how long the two of you have been together. From what I'm reading its enough to say you are not in a relationship. Not even a friendship. When two people are together there is a level of respect. He doesn't even respect you. Next time you have a conversation with him it will be face to face. No more cowardly responses via phone. Be prepared to accept this relationship is over.
cmonman Posted October 8, 2014 Posted October 8, 2014 Has he mentioned anything that would give you the impression he would have commitment issues? Some people are really self destructive when they feel like they are getting into something that might hurt them. This isn't an excuse for his behavior, but if I were you I would try to meet him in person and just say "clearly things are not alright here, I am not going to keep reaching out to you. If you want to communicate with me and make this work, then you know where I am, but until then, I am moving on with my life." If you can't get him to meet in person, call him. If he doesnt answer after a couple of days, send it in an email.
Author Applepie3 Posted October 17, 2014 Author Posted October 17, 2014 Ok heres some history on us we were on and off since 2012 he was my best friend first and we ended up falling in love we were together for a year and some months,he ended up wanted me to focus on myself and get my life together since he said i was so young and he didnt want me to end up like him,we always found our way back to each other even when he was with someone else he ended up breaking up with them and getting back with me and he sent me an email apologizing to me about how he treated situations before that's how we ended up back together again its been about four months now it was beautiful untill now. Ok so He finally contacts me and tells me that he might want to focus on himself because he's depressed since he lost his job and had to drop a class and he doesn't like how I've been paying for everything;I think he's dealing with the fact that he's 28 and still hasn't gotten his life fully together (I'm 21) then he asked to talk in person so we did and when we seen each other I told him I wouldn't be mad at all if he wanted to focus on himself and that I would totally understand that he would want to get his life together he ended up saying that he actually wants to stay together and he'll put in more effort and be more committed. Fast forward to this week things were going pretty good he said he wanted to spend some time with me this week but then all of a sudden he disappears,I called him and he didn't answer so I waited and sent a text saying hey call me when you get a chance (he never did) then that same day he posted on social media the next day I called he didn't answer;then yesterday night he posted on Fb and I.g and at that point I was just mad,hurt and confused all I want is closure I called him way too many times and now I feel pretty stupid and low all I really want is closure now I don't care if he wants to break up I just want him to be honest with me. I don't know what to do now I'm just laying here in limbo .
Author Applepie3 Posted October 17, 2014 Author Posted October 17, 2014 One thing that is important to your post is how long the two of you have been together. From what I'm reading its enough to say you are not in a relationship. Not even a friendship. When two people are together there is a level of respect. He doesn't even respect you. Next time you have a conversation with him it will be face to face. No more cowardly responses via phone. Be prepared to accept this relationship is over. Ok heres some history on us we were on and off since 2012 he was my best friend first and we ended up falling in love we were together for a year and some months,he ended up wanted me to focus on myself and get my life together since he said i was so young and he didnt want me to end up like him,we always found our way back to each other even when he was with someone else he ended up breaking up with them and getting back with me and he sent me an email apologizing to me about how he treated situations before that's how we ended up back together again its been about four months now it was beautiful untill now. Ok so He finally contacts me and tells me that he might want to focus on himself because he's depressed since he lost his job and had to drop a class and he doesn't like how I've been paying for everything;I think he's dealing with the fact that he's 28 and still hasn't gotten his life fully together (I'm 21) then he asked to talk in person so we did and when we seen each other I told him I wouldn't be mad at all if he wanted to focus on himself and that I would totally understand that he would want to get his life together he ended up saying that he actually wants to stay together and he'll put in more effort and be more committed. Fast forward to this week things were going pretty good he said he wanted to spend some time with me this week but then all of a sudden he disappears,I called him and he didn't answer so I waited and sent a text saying hey call me when you get a chance (he never did) then that same day he posted on social media the next day I called he didn't answer;then yesterday night he posted on Fb and I.g and at that point I was just mad,hurt and confused all I want is closure I called him way too many times and now I feel pretty stupid and low ߘ⠡ll I really want is closure now I don't care if he wants to break up I just want him to be honest with me. I don't know what to do now I'm just laying here in limbo
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