amplified Posted October 6, 2014 Posted October 6, 2014 So me and my ex of 6 years broke up last winter. We were both still friends with each other since the break up and neither of us was pushing to get back together. We rekindled the romance in July but there are a lot of trust issues for both of us. So she broke it off again in mid September. I wrote one email asking for her to work it out and we can work out our issues. She said she needed some time, I have implemented no contact but she keeps contacting me for advise on work etc. She does not mention getting back together. She recently found out that I've been hanging with a friend of hers that she was jealous of in the past. Her and her friend were never very close and she always thought her friend and I would get along even before we met. She hasn't brought up my email but keeps contacting me regarding other things for advise. Should I just ignore her? bring up my email? Please help!!!
Frank2thepoint Posted October 6, 2014 Posted October 6, 2014 Does she message you just solely about work? Or does she mention work and her opinion about you "hanging out" with another girl? If she just messages you solely about work advice, then be a friend to her and give her advice, nothing more, if you don't want anything else.
Author amplified Posted October 6, 2014 Author Posted October 6, 2014 Thanks for the response Frank2thepoint. Its not really work its about her buying some property and wants my input. The thing is, I want to get back with her and I want her to mention the email.
me85 Posted October 6, 2014 Posted October 6, 2014 Then bring it up to her. You'll know whether or not to remain friendly by how she responds to you regarding your email.
Frank2thepoint Posted October 6, 2014 Posted October 6, 2014 You can give her your input about purchasing property. As for the email, you can just ask if she read it and has any comments. If she has read it but offers no comment, or doesn't answer you, well it may mean she doesn't want to deal with it.
Author amplified Posted October 6, 2014 Author Posted October 6, 2014 I thought the whole point of no contact was to not respond to any breadcrumbs they may drop. Also under no circumstances respond or contact them unless they want to work it out? I can't just be there for her whenever she needs advice if shes willing to end the relationship and see other people. She knows where I stand and to ignore the issue is disrespectful.
me85 Posted October 6, 2014 Posted October 6, 2014 (edited) You asked for people's advice...so we offered it. If you're hoping that initiating NC will work in your favor by forcing her to think about things and end up crawling to you, begging for you back then that's the wrong way to go about it. NC is for you not your ex. It's so you can heal and move on easier and faster. If you've kept up with NC then great. Keep it up. And what breadcrumbs is she giving you? You haven't mentioned any to us. You're saying you want her to talk about the email and that you want to get back together but then just said... " I thought the whole point of no contact was to not respond to any breadcrumbs they may drop. Also under no circumstances respond or contact them unless they want to work it out? I can't just be there for her whenever she needs advice if shes willing to end the relationship and see other people. She knows where I stand and to ignore the issue is disrespectful. " We're not advising that you be there for her whenever she needs advice. I'm confused. What do you want? What do you think you should do? Edited October 6, 2014 by me85
lolablue17 Posted October 6, 2014 Posted October 6, 2014 I think you shouldn't bring it up. You already raised the subject more than once. Now it's her job to respond. If she doesn't, that means she chooses not to, probably because she knows where it leads and doesn't want to go that direction. How do you know for sure that she found out about you and her friend? If you know for sure, that's another reason why you shouldn't raise the subject, because she already knows the price she's paying by not getting back together with you - The price is "you're hanging out with her friend which she had jealousy issues with". So if she didn't tell you anything about it, it means she doesn't think she has the right to interfere. If she was planning to work things with you, she would talk to you about this friend. Sorry! just move on, and if you wish to be friends with her so go with it. If you don't, ask her to avoid any contact with you from now on.
Author amplified Posted October 6, 2014 Author Posted October 6, 2014 I would hope that she brings up the email because I don't want to bring it up and seem desperate. I'm thinking of going No Contact becuz this is just another instance of me being there for her. Its her first big purchase which will affect the rest of her life.
Author amplified Posted October 6, 2014 Author Posted October 6, 2014 How do you know for sure that she found out about you and her friend? If you know for sure, that's another reason why you shouldn't raise the subject, because she already knows the price she's paying by not getting back together with you - The price is "you're hanging out with her friend which she had jealousy issues with". She knows because her good friend saw us walking the street together and relayed her the message. She sent me a text when she found out and acted like everything was cool.
d0nnivain Posted October 6, 2014 Posted October 6, 2014 NC is about helping you heal when there is no hope for reconciliation If you want to get back together you have to communicate & talk to each other. 1
lolablue17 Posted October 6, 2014 Posted October 6, 2014 She knows because her good friend saw us walking the street together and relayed her the message. She sent me a text when she found out and acted like everything was cool. Here's your proof. She's cool with it (or acting cool) because she has no intention of getting back together with you. Believe me, if she did want you back, she wasn't cool at all...
frankvega Posted October 6, 2014 Posted October 6, 2014 Listen you do what ever you want but If you really want her back I am going to tell you how to up your chances if getting back. 1. Get go NC!!!! I don't care if she calls you from the damn hospital. Go NC!!! Block her phone or change your number. 2. Start dating other women and make sure that she does not find out about it or any of your mutual friend. No one but you needs to know. Get out of your house and start dating again and being intimate with someone new. Be safe about it as well. 3. Move on!!!! If you do the mentioned above with exact detail she will literally bang your door down. Nothing will stop her. She will move a mountain for you. Here's the catch. By this point you don't even want her back because you are going to be much more happier with your new life. 1
Author amplified Posted October 7, 2014 Author Posted October 7, 2014 If you want to get back together you have to communicate & talk to each other. Yes, but she said to give her a week after she read my email. It is a week today, instead of mentioning the email she asked me for advise about the new place she wants to buy.
Frank2thepoint Posted October 7, 2014 Posted October 7, 2014 Yes, but she said to give her a week after she read my email. It is a week today, instead of mentioning the email she asked me for advise about the new place she wants to buy. Well she did contact you. Her emailing about advice could be a segue to that discussion. Or maybe not.
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