Darkray117 Posted October 6, 2014 Posted October 6, 2014 (edited) You can read my previous thread here: https://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/496168-i-just-met-her-we-hit-off-should-i-ask-her-dinner-now So today I just felt like she wasn't that into me as we talked in class, I noticed she was cool with texting other guys when she didn't really text me throughout the last week, meaning she would text me if she wanted too. I said to myself, no regrets, just ask her to dinner tonight anyway. So I did, but she said she was busy and I just got the feeling that its more of a platonic thing between us which I thought was weird. She had lunch with me and gave me her number the first day we met. And we talked for a good hour and a half, she even said she had a lot of fun. Ah well, I'm a little sad but, I'm proud I got this far, never got this far before. There are billions of other fish in the sea. Edited October 7, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator removed bold formating
Melan Posted October 7, 2014 Posted October 7, 2014 Maybe she really did just have plans that night! You should have followed up and tried to organize a time when she was free
umirano Posted October 7, 2014 Posted October 7, 2014 A little more persistence may be necessary? What is the decisive factor to give up after asking her out once and being told she's busy? Usually asking somebody out for the same day is tricky, bc it's short term. Why don't you ask her out for the end of the week?
Diezel Posted October 7, 2014 Posted October 7, 2014 I would disagree with persistence. If you offered to take her to dinner... which btw, don't take a woman out to dinner, take her to drinks or coffee... and she said she had plans and didn't counter-offer at all... then forget it.
umirano Posted October 7, 2014 Posted October 7, 2014 I would disagree with persistence. IDK, what's the fantasy here? You ask a girl out at, say, 1 pm for the night of the same day, and then you expect her to cancel whatever she's planned to do that evening? And if she can't cancel you take it as a definitive no for all days to come? How she declines the offer would shape my future behavior. If she declines without showing interest in going out some other day and without giving a good reason not to, I'd not persist. But if she says something like "I've promised my best friend to help her with xxx already last week!" then obviously she has a good reason not to be available. At least that's how I'd treat my friends vs a new encounter, and thus I'd accept this. It isn't hard to follow up this decline with something like "Ok, what about next XXXday then?"
Author Darkray117 Posted October 7, 2014 Author Posted October 7, 2014 It just seemed like overall she wasn't that into me. Plus after I asked, it was like she was avoiding the question. It got a little uncomfortable.
Assasda Posted October 7, 2014 Posted October 7, 2014 It just seemed like overall she wasn't that into me. Plus after I asked, it was like she was avoiding the question. It got a little uncomfortable. Yeah man, you know whats up. If you feel generous, tell her to call you if she wants to go out and have fun anytime. Then never call her again. - Other women out there to explore bud.
Author Darkray117 Posted October 7, 2014 Author Posted October 7, 2014 Yeah man, you know whats up. If you feel generous, tell her to call you if she wants to go out and have fun anytime. Then never call her again. - Other women out there to explore bud. Ya honestly, I'm over it now. I'm sure I'll find someone eventually.
Melan Posted October 7, 2014 Posted October 7, 2014 IDK, what's the fantasy here? You ask a girl out at, say, 1 pm for the night of the same day, and then you expect her to cancel whatever she's planned to do that evening? And if she can't cancel you take it as a definitive no for all days to come? How she declines the offer would shape my future behavior. If she declines without showing interest in going out some other day and without giving a good reason not to, I'd not persist. But if she says something like "I've promised my best friend to help her with xxx already last week!" then obviously she has a good reason not to be available. At least that's how I'd treat my friends vs a new encounter, and thus I'd accept this. It isn't hard to follow up this decline with something like "Ok, what about next XXXday then?" Agreed - her response should indicate whether it is worth following up. It depends on what her excuse was, and if she expressed much interest in the idea of meeting up
sid3 Posted October 7, 2014 Posted October 7, 2014 Ya honestly, I'm over it now. I'm sure I'll find someone eventually. I'm sure you're feeling somewhat of a relief even though you got a no. While not the desired outcome, it's much better to know one tried that to sit around and ponder what if. Sure rejection sucks, but it's a better feeling than I should have. Good for you on at least trying. 1
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