Superman2024 Posted October 6, 2014 Posted October 6, 2014 I had messaged a woman on a dating site about 3 weeks ago and up until a couple of days ago she hadn't read it or viewed my profile. Now she's read the message, viewed my profile, sent me a smile, and quite a long message. It sounds like she's interested in getting to know me, but she wants to be friends first. I've never had a woman on a dating site say this, so I'm just wondering what this means.
carhill Posted October 6, 2014 Posted October 6, 2014 1. What women say and what they do often can be very different things. 2. Determine this by meeting in person. The answer will be obvious. If she finds you attractive, she'll want to grow that. She'll be 'friends' with men she doesn't find attractive. Good luck!
sdrawkcaB ssA Posted October 6, 2014 Posted October 6, 2014 Take her word as it is... don't allow any expectations, if you feel like needing more info always ask, it does not hurt.
Redhead14 Posted October 6, 2014 Posted October 6, 2014 (edited) I think any time you start seeing someone new, it should just be about possibly making a new friend. This way you don't bring expectations into the dating scenario too quickly and possibly putting off a new potential suitor. Men are more insightful and intuitive than you think. You spent time to get to know each other. Then you will have a sense of what they are looking for and they will have the same. Let things flow naturally without pressure of any kind. This should apply to both men and women. If you go into a date even just thinking "this could be the one" . . . you naturally and without realizing it send a signal about that. Eagerness/anxiousness creeps in. Be natural and relaxed. Edited October 6, 2014 by Redhead14
Assasda Posted October 6, 2014 Posted October 6, 2014 It means she doesnt want to just have sex with you quickly like she's a prostitute. She wants to know you and what youre about 1
LoneIsland Posted October 6, 2014 Posted October 6, 2014 You might end up being her friend who she can talk to about her bf. 1
Fondue Posted October 6, 2014 Posted October 6, 2014 You might end up being her friend who she can talk to about her bf. My first and exact thought. Friends first means, "I want you to court me without me giving anything back, so then I can tell you later that it just won't work."
LoneIsland Posted October 6, 2014 Posted October 6, 2014 The thing with this arrangement is that you have to pay first to move beyond friends. The trouble is, once you have paid as a 'friend', there is no reason why you should not stay as a friend given that you are such a nice friend.
d0nnivain Posted October 6, 2014 Posted October 6, 2014 At the very least it means she wants to take things slowly. She's not ready for anything sexual & that may include handholding & or kissing. 1
Author Superman2024 Posted October 7, 2014 Author Posted October 7, 2014 In my first message to her I asked what her relationship goals were. She said ultimately marriage but believed in being friends first. Overall her reply was the longest I've ever had on a dating site and she just happens to be the closest prospect I've ever had too. That's more significant since I live in a rural area. I definitely don't want to be in a permanent friend zone, so I told her I was fine starting off as friends and seeing where it leads. I sent her an equally long nice reply, so now I'm just waiting to hear back.
Assasda Posted October 7, 2014 Posted October 7, 2014 In my first message to her I asked what her relationship goals were. She said ultimately marriage but believed in being friends first. Overall her reply was the longest I've ever had on a dating site and she just happens to be the closest prospect I've ever had too. That's more significant since I live in a rural area. I definitely don't want to be in a permanent friend zone, so I told her I was fine starting off as friends and seeing where it leads. I sent her an equally long nice reply, so now I'm just waiting to hear back. ahhh... Stay away from long replies bro. Also stay away from questions about "relationship goals" with people you dont know. Dating is about having fun, not legal matter that should be sorted out with long-term questions and paper-work. Its like youre going to hand her your resume, when you go on the date. Bro, if she ever contacts you again. Keep it light
Diezel Posted October 7, 2014 Posted October 7, 2014 Message her back... you do know this is a "dating website", right?
Redhead14 Posted October 7, 2014 Posted October 7, 2014 This is a way of managing her expectations and the people she meets. This does not imply that she isn't interested in dating. She doesn't want to meet people who are over eager or people who just want sex. She may want sex too, but after she's known them and feels comfortable with them. She is being upfront about what she wants out of her dating experiences. She is telling people indirectly that she's looking for a meaningful relationship. A real relationship always starts out on a friendly basis and grows.
PegNosePete Posted October 7, 2014 Posted October 7, 2014 So meet up with her and see what happens. Ignore this "friends first" thing, just go with the flow as you would on any date. 1
d0nnivain Posted October 7, 2014 Posted October 7, 2014 I agree with PegNosePete. Meet her. See what happens after that. Labels may freak her out. See what kinds of actions she employs
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