Millie74 Posted October 6, 2014 Posted October 6, 2014 Hi all Just asking for advice on the following: I've recently got in touch with my high school crush -one of those things you do when you're about to turn 40... (oh well ) . Just a quick private message on fb to say hello and ask after his mum because I knew her very well - I had just registered on the site and his was the first name that popped into 'the people you are meant to know but don't have a clue who they are' list, which triggered some lovely memories. Anyway, he replied back 10 minutes later and to say he'll pass the message on to his mum and that maybe we could catch up at some point. I thanked him and politely said I'd be happy to, and left it at that. He messaged me back the next day to say his mum was really happy to hear from me, and that he'd be happy to see me. I thanked him for passing the message on and we vaguely agreed to meet up in our hometown in the summer. We hadn't exchanged information about our lives (we didn't know each other back then so it didn't feel appropriate) but because he initiated a meet-up I assumed he was single (I am), which is why I accepted initially. I now know (through mutual friends) that he has a partner and a baby. I would never have dared gotten in touch with him in the first place had I known that (there's no mention of it all on his fb page), and I wouldn't have accepted his invitation either, but somehow I still feel I have done something wrong. Have I? I've only recently gotten back on the dating scene after a few years of inactivity so I'm very wary of doing something I shouldn't be doing... Thanks in advance, kind people of the loveshack community
Redhead14 Posted October 6, 2014 Posted October 6, 2014 Hi all Just asking for advice on the following: I've recently got in touch with my high school crush -one of those things you do when you're about to turn 40... (oh well ) . Just a quick private message on fb to say hello and ask after his mum because I knew her very well - I had just registered on the site and his was the first name that popped into 'the people you are meant to know but don't have a clue who they are' list, which triggered some lovely memories. Anyway, he replied back 10 minutes later and to say he'll pass the message on to his mum and that maybe we could catch up at some point. I thanked him and politely said I'd be happy to, and left it at that. He messaged me back the next day to say his mum was really happy to hear from me, and that he'd be happy to see me. I thanked him for passing the message on and we vaguely agreed to meet up in our hometown in the summer. We hadn't exchanged information about our lives (we didn't know each other back then so it didn't feel appropriate) but because he initiated a meet-up I assumed he was single (I am), which is why I accepted initially. I now know (through mutual friends) that he has a partner and a baby. I would never have dared gotten in touch with him in the first place had I known that (there's no mention of it all on his fb page), and I wouldn't have accepted his invitation either, but somehow I still feel I have done something wrong. Have I? I've only recently gotten back on the dating scene after a few years of inactivity so I'm very wary of doing something I shouldn't be doing... Thanks in advance, kind people of the loveshack community You have done nothing wrong and you don't know that he is doing anything wrong. He may just want to see and old school friend and catch up. There isn't anything wrong with that. If you meet up and he comes across as wanting more, he will be the one doing something wrong.
kjohn Posted October 6, 2014 Posted October 6, 2014 You have not done anything wrong. There is absolutely nothing wrong with messaging an old friend on Facebook. Just as there is nothing wrong with wanting to catch up with an old friend who messages you. He didn't ask you out on a date. He just said next time you're in town let's get together to catch up. For all you know, he might have been planning to bring his GF with him.
Author Millie74 Posted October 6, 2014 Author Posted October 6, 2014 Ok, thanks. The reason I'm asking is because my brother recently found out his wife of 18 years cheated on him with someone from her past she was still fond of, and from what he said, it pretty much started with an innocent meet-up in for a drink. We didn't know each other very well at the time - mutual friends told me later that he liked me, and if I'd known it at the time, things may have been different - but I don't want to give the impression that it was anything other than a friendly catch-up.
Recommended Posts