My ex girlfriends ex boyfriend lied and broke us and can't accept she's gay

[mylittones]

Hi, am so lost right now. My ex gf and I broke up about a month ago. Am a lesbian dating a women who had an ex for almost 9 years. During their relationship she constantly broke up with him but I believe his a compulsive liar. He tried playing me aand getting me angry and upset and leave her and when that failed, I tried telling my gf what he was trying to do. But he has the gift of using his words on her and managed to twist what I said around and now has her believing am the horrible person she should have nothing to do with. He hasn't been able to accept that she is gay and moved on. And during our relationship it was absolute hell. But I managed to stick it out and would have kept till the day she finally saw his ways. He is now trying to convince her she needs to go straight again and that it is possible, so they can be together. My ex doesn't have hardly any friends and never really been a social butterfly. And every time she did try he managed to chase them off. Than flips the lid on her by telling her "see am the only one that gets you and stays by your side." How the heck can I get her to see its toxic and is a pathological liar and will do anything to destroy any happiness she has with others. We had a really good relationship but our down falls was him trying to manipulate His way back. Please help

Edited October 6, 2014 by mylittones

[Zahara]

How the heck can I get her to see its toxic and is a pathological liar and will do anything to destroy any happiness she has with others. We had a really good relationship but our down falls was him trying to manipulate His way back. Please help

 

You can't. You and your ex do not have a relationship anymore, therefore she is free to do whatever she wants, and that means going back to her ex if that is her choice. You have no control over this anymore. If she's allowing him to influence her decisions, then there is nothing you can do.

 

Best thing for you to do is let go. Stop having contact and stop meddling in her business. She has made the choice to move on, whether on her own or towards the ex, it is not your problem anymore.

[tatersalad]

how long were you all dating? and how long did you all start to date after her break up with the ex boyfriend?

 

Some women, after being really hurt by a man / men, will try out lesbianism (because they are repulsed by men) as a kind of rebound relationship. They aren't real full blown lesbians... sadly, for women like you who are real lesbians, a lot of these part time lesbians will leave once the novilty wears off / once the rebound has gone full swing. I've known a woman or two who have done this.

 

It is in your best inerest to try to move on from her and let her figure out her own problems.