Sunday eve WTF happened!

[sdrawkcaB ssA]

This last Sunday eve, I had had contact with a forum member on a topic. They expressed their views at me personally, and I replied back in a timely manner. I figured that we could allow for some acceptance, through open discussion of the issues they had over me. Since I am one to be open and honest, I feel no issue cannot be talked about at any time. So it stunned me to see our wee convo go, POOF! I know the other member could not remove my response, so it had to be a Mod action on the thread.

 

Now what bothers me, is the fact that we do not have an open discussion here when an issue arises. To me it is like hiding from issues. How many peeps here do that in a relationship??? I know I do not have a relationship with any members here, but when you are in open convo, that convo is a relationship in understanding each other. To openly close understanding on a forum designed to help with understanding and relationships, seems a bit odd, and makes me laugh at it is so ironic.

 

Yes, I am openly frank at times, but I explained my situation with clarity and without hostility. WTF! Now I am in a mix of not being able to set our convo straight by allowing a mutual agreement with understanding. If feel cheated, by the Mod and a bit at odds with how such a matter could be accepted to ignore.

 

Now I am forced to be something I am not, as I am a strong believer in talking through issues, and accepting what is between two people in the simplest terms. This must made matters complex and unresolved as far as I am concerned.

 

So, who ever I had an issue with, feel free to PM if needed, or forever hold your peace. I will allow PM for a week if need be. But hope you do understand I have no hostilities towards you, and respect you enough to allow discussion. For me I will not feel so easy about what had happened, until a Mod or yourself can explain.

[Emilia]

It's best not to take online forums so seriously. Just draw a line under it and move on.

[sdrawkcaB ssA]

It's best not to take online forums so seriously. Just draw a line under it and move on.

 

It is not that I take it seriously, it is a part of how I deal with processes. I am one not to hide away from issues. As I prefer argument over conflict. To me this will keep conflict, not by me as I did not take time in taking note of the party. I have no clue if it was a reg or a new member. Either way I have respect for them, just it unnerves me not to be able to resolve something so petty, because of a lack of understanding. Why make a matter long lasting, when it could be resolved in minutes. At the time, I had only enough time to say what I felt, and had hopes it would be enough. Now I have no clue what or how it was taken. Well I guess you are right, just move on and let them be as they are. Just if I were that way, I'd surely make enemies out of everyone given enough time.

[Got it]

It is not that I take it seriously, it is a part of how I deal with processes. I am one not to hide away from issues. As I prefer argument over conflict. To me this will keep conflict, not by me as I did not take time in taking note of the party. I have no clue if it was a reg or a new member. Either way I have respect for them, just it unnerves me not to be able to resolve something so petty, because of a lack of understanding. Why make a matter long lasting, when it could be resolved in minutes. At the time, I had only enough time to say what I felt, and had hopes it would be enough. Now I have no clue what or how it was taken. Well I guess you are right, just move on and let them be as they are. Just if I were that way, I'd surely make enemies out of everyone given enough time.

 

The board is not a democracy. So the rules apply with the mods have full power to exercise them however deemed fit.

 

While I agree and have chaffed at times, I fully recognize the overbranching philosophy of "this is their sandbox and we are allowed to play in it".

 

If you have an issue, you can address with a moderator directly.

[sdrawkcaB ssA]

The board is not a democracy. So the rules apply with the mods have full power to exercise them however deemed fit.

 

While I agree and have chaffed at times, I fully recognize the overbranching philosophy of "this is their sandbox and we are allowed to play in it".

 

If you have an issue, you can address with a moderator directly.

 

I do understand about forum rules and how Mods take care of things, and since writing this thread my thoughts are clear of it. I just had been reeled by my sudden knowledge of the matter this morn, just I have seen worse played out on many topics, and felt as if I was the meanie by two parties. I guess whether or not they come across this, I can live as I have.

[gaius]

You will allow PM for a week?

 

No offense, but if this was really some issue with some other member just PM them and be done with it already. You seem to have this thing going on where you have to announce you're going to shut off PMs in the first place cause you can't handle being flooded with them even before you've gotten any and now this. Which strikes me as an attempt to start drama and solicit them.

 

People find it way more appealing when you're just real about what you want instead of playing indirect games trying to get it.

[ComingInHot]

And here I thought you were talking about the Lion's game. Could have answered that one for you... The new kicker missed THREE count them 1,2,3 Times!!

 

would have had the game. sheesh

 

The topic*

It is difficult when a good discussion is deleted between opposing views when it is done with respect and civility.

 

I actually think it is good for LS'ers to read the 'right' way to discuss, debate and disagree.

The only time I can think where there is an absolute 'wrong' party is when there is cheating, cause that's just... wrong.

 

I hope you get it resolved in PM*

[sdrawkcaB ssA]

You will allow PM for a week?

 

No offense, but if this was really some issue with some other member just PM them and be done with it already. You seem to have this thing going on where you have to announce you're going to shut off PMs in the first place cause you can't handle being flooded with them even before you've gotten any and now this. Which strikes me as an attempt to start drama and solicit them.

 

People find it way more appealing when you're just real about what you want instead of playing indirect games trying to get it.

 

It is not a game I am playing... I admit came off a bit abrasive, being a last minute on the run reply. I know two wrongs do not make a right, but with your reasoning it just allows for simple issues like this to be accepted. In my eye, allowing for ignoring the issue, is not a good thing, that is why I opted for PM. I may not be able to catch a PM as I am random, and for the other they can be just as well. I figure a weeks time is more than enough. The big thing is allowing for trust, I can guess they may never will, but I am allowing for it.

 

And here I thought you were talking about the Lion's game. Could have answered that one for you... The new kicker missed THREE count them 1,2,3 Times!!

 

would have had the game. sheesh

 

The topic*

It is difficult when a good discussion is deleted between opposing views when it is done with respect and civility.

 

I actually think it is good for LS'ers to read the 'right' way to discuss, debate and disagree.

The only time I can think where there is an absolute 'wrong' party is when there is cheating, cause that's just... wrong.

 

I hope you get it resolved in PM*

 

Thanks for your reply, and it is a very good one I may add.

 

I thought I was the only one here who rather resolve than to dismiss. I felt PM is safe as it is best kept private. Who knows maybe they took my word, and placed me in their ignore list.

 

Thank you all for your input!

[StanMusial]

I have had a lot of posts removed. I don't care. Just a way to pass the time in hurry up and wait situations. I do try to be helpful to the less experienced though.

[sdrawkcaB ssA]

I have had a lot of posts removed. I don't care. Just a way to pass the time in hurry up and wait situations. I do try to be helpful to the less experienced though.

 

Yeah, I would have just let this go. But I shared something what I felt is personal and would keep private, in regards to being enlightening and informative to people who are fed the same old same old.

 

I feel cheated in that by removing the posts, and eliminating any understanding.

 

I just don't like being part of a process that keeps big or small relationships in turmoil. As once one accepts minor issues as unimportant, when will they see importance in issues that are not so great??? This is an endless circle that was forced upon not just me, but the other as well.

 

Call me a rebel, but if anything that unsettles me more than having the other member accuse me.

 

I guess I want to allow for respect for both parties, even though there may not be much of any understanding. After all I live by example, and seeing what I deeply feel being used in a productive way, as I feel that good can come from bad. As if I was as bad as I made myself out to be, I would not have quickly made such decision, and went on my merry way without a care in the world.

[Gloria25]

I agree to a point....

 

I'm very direct and don't have really "mainstream" views on a lot of things and some people get upset.

 

Yes, since I must abide by the rules of this and any board, I'm working on tailoring my answers where I can be persuasive w/o someone getting upset. I also just don't touch on certain threads - cuz you can sorta tell where the thread and/or the poster is gonna get off the rails.

 

I sorta have to do that in real life too...I've had to make changes of gfs, friends, etc over the years cuz we don't share certain beliefs, values, etc. But, before I made the decision to cut it off, I try(ed) to meet them half-way - which is to limit our communication and/or time spent together to things I know won't set them off.

 

I mean, the gf I'm close to right now - I don't agree with a lot of what she does, but there are other things that I value about the RL and about her as a person - so I just don't broach on subjects that may ruin the friendship.

[sdrawkcaB ssA]

I agree to a point....

 

I'm very direct and don't have really "mainstream" views on a lot of things and some people get upset.

 

Yes, since I must abide by the rules of this and any board, I'm working on tailoring my answers where I can be persuasive w/o someone getting upset. I also just don't touch on certain threads - cuz you can sorta tell where the thread and/or the poster is gonna get off the rails.

 

I sorta have to do that in real life too...I've had to make changes of gfs, friends, etc over the years cuz we don't share certain beliefs, values, etc. But, before I made the decision to cut it off, I try(ed) to meet them half-way - which is to limit our communication and/or time spent together to things I know won't set them off.

 

I mean, the gf I'm close to right now - I don't agree with a lot of what she does, but there are other things that I value about the RL and about her as a person - so I just don't broach on subjects that may ruin the friendship.

 

Yeah, you don't want to push a subject that can push against your acceptance. I am one to accept a lot more than most, because I know how different I am, and how everyone else is. I know not everyone can see from where I sit, and visa versa. My feelings are if you can allow without personal judgment in discussion and accept agreement or not, and let it be, no hard feelings. Unfortunately that cannot be so on an open forum. PM at best is limited as interpretation can be skewed. But then again, I am over simplifying communication as we know it.

 

Just the removal of two comments, had left things wide open to interpretation, did not do matters any good.

 

Without going verbatim, what was said could have been cleared up with some simple talk, about facts that she saw were fake. Either a simple no I don't believe you, or OK I jumped to conclusions, would have ended things much better IMO. In fact I don't need to talk to the other party, but feel it is best over all.

[Got it]

Yeah, I would have just let this go. But I shared something what I felt is personal and would keep private, in regards to being enlightening and informative to people who are fed the same old same old.

 

I feel cheated in that by removing the posts, and eliminating any understanding.

 

I just don't like being part of a process that keeps big or small relationships in turmoil. As once one accepts minor issues as unimportant, when will they see importance in issues that are not so great??? This is an endless circle that was forced upon not just me, but the other as well.

 

Call me a rebel, but if anything that unsettles me more than having the other member accuse me.

 

I guess I want to allow for respect for both parties, even though there may not be much of any understanding. After all I live by example, and seeing what I deeply feel being used in a productive way, as I feel that good can come from bad. As if I was as bad as I made myself out to be, I would not have quickly made such decision, and went on my merry way without a care in the world.

 

Then start your own forum so you can have it run the way you want it.

[sdrawkcaB ssA]

Then start your own forum so you can have it run the way you want it.

 

HA! That I did in my own wee way... my humor thread... though I know not to push it too much. Been a wee cloudy in thoughts, as I have been waiting a bit long in seeing my LDR. When I miss her so, my thoughts are elsewhere.

 

Just as of late, my humor as been random and set upon random threads that few have probably taken notice. As I hid them in various replies. Sometimes I can't help but find amusement in playing with how words are understood. So, some of my humor is just for me to snigger about.

 

PS. I am over the shock and horror as 24 hrs has done its job. I accept my fault or faults depending on the level of dissection one may perform, and its consequences. Still having the odd feeling of being snubbed, more than lack of closure.

[Emilia]

Still having the odd feeling of being snubbed, more than lack of closure.

The thing is, you don't know who is who here. What their agenda is. This is why it's best to keep yourself emotionally distant from it, that's not always possible of course especially when something is personal. It's best to try it though.

 

You can't take interactions at face value in real life with people you don't know, that's the case even more so here.

[sdrawkcaB ssA]

The thing is, you don't know who is who here. What their agenda is. This is why it's best to keep yourself emotionally distant from it, that's not always possible of course especially when something is personal. It's best to try it though.

 

You can't take interactions at face value in real life with people you don't know, that's the case even more so here.

 

Thanks! I really do appreciate your comments along with all who have pitched in. I'm pretty strong about such issues, just this one threw me off guard as it felt like a double whammy of sorts, and is one I never expected. So, none the less I'm fine with peeps here, and know very well not everything is perfect.

 

I guess my shyness feels hurt more than me. Hehehehe! Some day I hope to kick its arse so it will leave me alone. HA!