ForHer Posted October 6, 2014 Posted October 6, 2014 I just want to put this out there. I was blindsided with a out of no where fight that lead to a break up when our daughter was 6 weeks old. I went into shock. I was the most pathetic I have ever seen myself. I cried, begged, screamed, moments of harrasment. How could this man who treated me like a princess not now listen to ANYTHING I have to say!? A Month went by he entered a rebound relationship. While they were together I read EVERYTHING I could about rebound relationships. It lasted 3 days he dimpled her "she was indeed prettier than me" 3 months go by I can still barley make it a week without asking to work it out. And then the fourth month came. I decided I was done. Done asking. Done being a doormat. Done sitting at home. I went out. Started hanging out with friends. Got asked on a date. Went on that date And not even one day later it got back to my Ex and daughters father that I went on that date. That night he asked if we could talk, which lead to him asking to work it out. Basically try to get your self respect back. Try the simplest move to move on. An BOOM they always come back.
Ecko08 Posted October 6, 2014 Posted October 6, 2014 I really hope that you don't take him back. It's one of those tricky things because, now, there is a 6 month (or so) child hat will suffer the most because of their parents inability to work something, anything out. The only thing that spite towards one another is going to do, in the long run, is damage the child. I would hope the two of them could work it out, for the kids sake, instead of trying to one up each other and make each other jealous with relationships. 1
singsparkles Posted October 6, 2014 Posted October 6, 2014 I just want to put this out there. I was blindsided with a out of no where fight that lead to a break up when our daughter was 6 weeks old. I went into shock. I was the most pathetic I have ever seen myself. I cried, begged, screamed, moments of harrasment. How could this man who treated me like a princess not now listen to ANYTHING I have to say!? A Month went by he entered a rebound relationship. While they were together I read EVERYTHING I could about rebound relationships. It lasted 3 days he dimpled her "she was indeed prettier than me" 3 months go by I can still barley make it a week without asking to work it out. And then the fourth month came. I decided I was done. Done asking. Done being a doormat. Done sitting at home. I went out. Started hanging out with friends. Got asked on a date. Went on that date And not even one day later it got back to my Ex and daughters father that I went on that date. That night he asked if we could talk, which lead to him asking to work it out. Basically try to get your self respect back. Try the simplest move to move on. An BOOM they always come back. I agree wholeheartedly, and it's sad. EVERY SINGLE relationship I've been in has been a rollercoaster. I've never been in normal relationships; they've all been up and down. And when they end, they always end with a bang and with a lot of coldness. I always end up freaking out and becoming psycho calling them a million times trying to work it out, and in those moments I feel like I just wanna die. They ignore my existence and every feeling I feel. But thennnnn.... when you FINALLY move on... who pops up out of nowhere? The same guy you were crying over months ago. And they only come when you're completely over them! That's the ironic part of it all. I know the syndrome... and trust me, you're right... They ALWAYS come back. It's very, very unfortunate these men cannot see what they have when it's right in front of them in their hands.
Ecko08 Posted October 6, 2014 Posted October 6, 2014 It's very, very unfortunate these men cannot see what they have when it's right in front of them in their hands. Sparkles, I'll go out with you. I'm across the sound in LI 1
Allumere Posted October 6, 2014 Posted October 6, 2014 It happens but not all the time. And the when and why and hows are random too....just don't want folks that are newly heartbroken to grasp at a stray that may not lead to even a sip. If he is back I hope you have both addressed whatever issues existed or coming back together now will be difficult and will simply fail. If this is a serious attempt then I would suggest couples counseling.
strong-hearted Posted October 6, 2014 Posted October 6, 2014 I do not know if my ex will come back, it's been 2 months since he broke up with me and two weeks later he jumped to another relationship, I am alone as of now but I started texting an old friend, he keeps asking me if I want to hang out but I'm just scared, I want to start hanging out with this guy but I'm just scared that it still might be too soon to move or or how do you know when ure ready to hang out or even go on a simple date?
Omei Posted October 6, 2014 Posted October 6, 2014 It's one of those tricky things because, now, there is a 6 month (or so) child hat will suffer the most because of their parents inability to work something, anything out. The only thing that spite towards one another is going to do, in the long run, is damage the child. I would hope the two of them could work it out, for the kids sake, instead of trying to one up each other and make each other jealous with relationships. It is a terrible idea to be together for a child's sake it will not work if love for each other isnt there. If they work out their differences as people and can be supportive together without being in a relationship thats good! If they do end up parting for good the child will grow up not knowing anything different and will be fine as long as both parents can tolerate each other and build a mutual respect in caring for it together peacefully. 1
Dontfindme Posted October 6, 2014 Posted October 6, 2014 It's one of those tricky things because, now, there is a 6 month (or so) child hat will suffer the most because of their parents inability to work something, anything out. The only thing that spite towards one another is going to do, in the long run, is damage the child. I would hope the two of them could work it out, for the kids sake, instead of trying to one up each other and make each other jealous with relationships. Agreed, it is tricky, and circumstantial. The reason I said she shouldn't take him back isn't so that she can spite him. It just seemed oddly coincidental that he's back as soon as she shows any signs of moving on. If he reconsidered, he had PLENTY of time to do so, it's just odd that he wanted to talk right after she loosened his grip on her. But I do hope that they can come to a conclusion that is beneficial for both parties, and in the best interests of the child.
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted October 6, 2014 Posted October 6, 2014 I just want to put this out there. I was blindsided with a out of no where fight that lead to a break up when our daughter was 6 weeks old. I went into shock. I was the most pathetic I have ever seen myself. I cried, begged, screamed, moments of harrasment. How could this man who treated me like a princess not now listen to ANYTHING I have to say!? A Month went by he entered a rebound relationship. While they were together I read EVERYTHING I could about rebound relationships. It lasted 3 days he dimpled her "she was indeed prettier than me" 3 months go by I can still barley make it a week without asking to work it out. And then the fourth month came. I decided I was done. Done asking. Done being a doormat. Done sitting at home. I went out. Started hanging out with friends. Got asked on a date. Went on that date And not even one day later it got back to my Ex and daughters father that I went on that date. That night he asked if we could talk, which lead to him asking to work it out. Basically try to get your self respect back. Try the simplest move to move on. An BOOM they always come back. Wrong. Some never come back. Playing the odds game, the chances of them "coming back" are higher than usual since they shared a part of their life with you. I could buy 100 lottery tickets do my chances are higher to win...doesnt mean I will though. In YOUR situation, its only because he wants what he cant have. As soon as you give him attention again, he'll do the exact same thing again. Why? Because not enough time has passed. No changes were made. You went three months begging him back. One month later he ask to come back? Sounds super fishy. Again, he wants the upper hand. Sounds like you are implying that working on yourself and no contact leads to them coming back....it can happen sure, but its not some stone cold lock that you seem to be inplying. 1
oracle Posted October 6, 2014 Posted October 6, 2014 No... they don't always come back. Everybody out there.. please don't listen to this drivel. If they do come back, have the backbone to show them the door. 1
Ordinaryday Posted October 6, 2014 Posted October 6, 2014 the best thing is to make it so they cant contact you even if they wanted to, that way you dont need to worry about getting a breadcrumb. I blocked her on facebook, changed my mobile number, changed house and changed jobs. even if she wanted to contact me she wouldnt be able to. now I dont need to worry about a breadcrumb.
No Limit Posted October 6, 2014 Posted October 6, 2014 No, they don't always come back. Especially when their pride is in the way. I too hope you didn't take him back OP. It takes 2 adults who can work well together to make a child happy, not 2 adults living at home. You could have shut him down saying "Yeah, we can work your co-parenting out".
lauri Posted October 6, 2014 Posted October 6, 2014 They may come back into your life because they are lonely / miss you, but that doesn't mean that they want you back. There is a huge difference. Look at me recently, my ex came back saying she made a mistake and she regrets ending it with me. That was until she felt like she was back in control and I was into her she backed off completely (b/c I confronted her saying are you interested in me or not and all she could say was "I'm not going to answer that or I don't know"). This took a total of 3 days. This just proves to me that once someone feels something for you in the past and ends it with you, it'll take so much effort to change their mind of what they feel about you. Its sad that things happened the way they did between me and my ex but I'm no fool and I won't get sucked back in again. Trust me, the reasons why they left you in the first place are still there. An ex is an ex for a reason.
singsparkles Posted October 6, 2014 Posted October 6, 2014 Sparkles, I'll go out with you. I'm across the sound in LI Lol, Echo.
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