oberkeat Posted October 6, 2014 Posted October 6, 2014 I like to think that if I work hard enough for something, it pays off eventually. But this is different. It seems like the more effort I put into meeting the right woman, the harder and harder and the more impossible-seeming it's become. OLD was a series of time-wasting conversations with flakey people that never translated into relationships. So I ditched that and returned to focusing on meeting women in real life. Yet, when I meet women and ask for dates IRL, they are always already in a relationship, or not sure what they want, or looking for something different from me. Nothing seems to work. Getting a job wasn't this difficult.
ComingInHot Posted October 6, 2014 Posted October 6, 2014 List out all of the things you enjoy doing, from gaming to ice skating (I don't know what you like *lol*) Then research how to get involved in groups doing those things. ie; coed softball, volleyball, tennis... Instead of trying to do something 'about ' being single, try doing something 'with' being single. You just might meet women with similar interests that way. Or maybe meet friends with similar interests who can introduce you to THEIR single friends* 3
Gloria25 Posted October 6, 2014 Posted October 6, 2014 Agreed... Try meet-up groups, church, or volunteering...Cuz, on top of meeting people who already are doing a shared interest, hopefully most of them are single. BTW, I hate OLD too... It's harder to meet people once we graduate high school and/or college. In both of those environments, you're meeting soooo many people who are not only single (well, not married yet and/or w/o kids), but whom you can get to know on a friendly basis (i.e. by studying together, in the same classroom, etc.) So, I guess the key now is to put yourself in social situations (volunteering, meet-ups, etc) where you can (again), hopefully meet a variety of people.
Assasda Posted October 6, 2014 Posted October 6, 2014 I like to think that if I work hard enough for something, it pays off eventually. But this is different. It seems like the more effort I put into meeting the right woman, the harder and harder and the more impossible-seeming it's become. OLD was a series of time-wasting conversations with flakey people that never translated into relationships. So I ditched that and returned to focusing on meeting women in real life. Yet, when I meet women and ask for dates IRL, they are always already in a relationship, or not sure what they want, or looking for something different from me. Nothing seems to work. Getting a job wasn't this difficult. Its counter intuitive. You should not be trying hard at all. You should be trying to have fun, and thats basically it. If you are fiending for a relationship, that sends the lessage of low value, like you dont hhave that in your life because of some reason. If you are casual and selective. Youre viewed with a higher value. Also, IMO, there is no better way to go, you dont want to get with just anyone
umirano Posted October 6, 2014 Posted October 6, 2014 I like to think that if I work hard enough for something, it pays off eventually. But this is different. It seems like the more effort I put into meeting the right woman, the harder and harder and the more impossible-seeming it's become. OLD was a series of time-wasting conversations with flakey people that never translated into relationships. So I ditched that and returned to focusing on meeting women in real life. Yet, when I meet women and ask for dates IRL, they are always already in a relationship, or not sure what they want, or looking for something different from me. Nothing seems to work. Getting a job wasn't this difficult. I feel you man... Got an awesome job recently literally basically by snapping my fingers. OLD hasn't been very rewarding so far. A few matches but nothing that knocked me over. IRL it's going so so. On a recent vacation I had a few extended flirts and bedded one gal, but she's too far and I'm not very attracted to her. Just a few days ago I met a local girl, who sorta did knock me over. Unfortunately she's not very responsive so far over messaging. Maybe I'll have more luck later this week.
Fondue Posted October 6, 2014 Posted October 6, 2014 Isn't the old advice for this to just stop caring? As soon you stop looking and caring, a girl just falls in your lap, or something? Maybe try that. Just stop giving a ****.
Author oberkeat Posted October 7, 2014 Author Posted October 7, 2014 There's been some good advice here. I think I need to step back and focus on creating a life that I truly enjoy for a while. I can't expect to attract the type of person I want if I'm not completely happy with my life first. I need to become the type of person I want to attract.
Assasda Posted October 7, 2014 Posted October 7, 2014 There's been some good advice here. I think I need to step back and focus on creating a life that I truly enjoy for a while. I can't expect to attract the type of person I want if I'm not completely happy with my life first. I need to become the type of person I want to attract. Sage advice from OP
organizedchaos Posted October 7, 2014 Posted October 7, 2014 There's been some good advice here. I think I need to step back and focus on creating a life that I truly enjoy for a while. I can't expect to attract the type of person I want if I'm not completely happy with my life first. I need to become the type of person I want to attract. Lots of struggling Dudes on this site would be wise to commit this to memory.
cdt76 Posted October 7, 2014 Posted October 7, 2014 How do you stop caring? It's the hardest thing I've ever tried to do.
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