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Passion vs Ho-Humm...


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Posted

I was watching one of my favorite shows last nite and a common theme came up - a theme I've seen over and over again in real life and on TV...

 

The issue is that she needed/craved the stability of her husband (the "ho-hum" person) - but loved the excitement and passion with her lover (the "passionate lover").

 

She felt suffocated with her ho-hum husband, but gosh, her lover was a mess. He was married, but a "ladies man" - in other words, a "man-ho".

 

I ask this cuz I'm a passionate/sensual woman - from outside appearances you could probably not tell that I'm passionate cuz I'm very quiet, am responsible (work, pay my bills, don't do drugs, no illegit kids), and I can be quite conservative (some people think I'm a prude from the way I dress and/or my socio-political, religious beliefs and views).

 

So, I think I throw some guys off cuz they probably don't know what to make of me since I have such complexities. I am that "passionate lover", but I'm not a woman-ho. When I'm with one guy, I'm with him...cuz while I've never been married - that doesn't mean that I have not and/or am not capable of being with a guy and having the passion w/o the drama.

 

I was with one guy for like six years. I guess he "got" me? Since then, I've been with guys that didn't stick around that long, who (from what I learned) were with "ho-hum" women. Some of them left their "ho-hum" women, but didn't stay with me...Some left me for "ho-hum" women (whom I learned through the grapevine were scared I might still had a hold on their guy).

 

I don't know, sometimes I think the guys leave cuz passion w/o the relationship advancing to marriage and/or kids isn't enough for them ("stability" I guess?). Sometimes I think it's cuz I am very independent. I guess I'm not an easy person to figure out cuz I have so many sides to me....I mean, I've often been told stuff like that.

 

So, what would you choose/prefer/experienced? (1) The stability of the "ho-hum" person; (2) The "passionate lover"; (3) Try to juggle both people (i.e. a wife and a mistress); or, (4) "Other".

Posted

I disagree with your premise. There are plenty of people who are both stable and passionate... It's not necessarily one or the other.

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Posted

Yeah, there are a lot of people that have different passions too.

People that are passionate in diffrerent ways

 

My cousin is really passionate about woodworking. Ask him what he's been working on in his spare time and he just lights up. Can talk about it for days.

He wouldnt be so "passionate" about video games per-say, but he's a passionate man.

 

Its the same with lovers, and relationships, its not always black and white.

Posted

Passionate and stable are not necessarily mutually exclusive.

  • Like 1
Posted

A false dichotomy, as the intellectuals would call it

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