ForeverFooled Posted October 6, 2014 Posted October 6, 2014 Hi friends, I've read this forum for a long time. Never posted because I convinced myself I was "different." I was the OW for 3 years. I, like the majority of OW, convinced myself that my situation was different and I would end up with my MM. He had me convinced that he was leaving because of lawyer visits, meetings with real estate agents, etc. We've talked several times about the end of his marriage and how things would play out so we could be together. He explained that his marriage just wasn't a fit. He always brought up the conversations, I never did. Long story short, today was the day that he was going to leave. I told him I couldn't take our situation anymore so if he didn't then I was going to bow out. He agreed it was overwhelming and that it was time. He told me he hadn't ended it yet because he was scared but that I was what he wanted so he was going through with it. I even saw him last night and he talked to me about how he was going to go about it, where he was going to go when he left, etc. It didn't happen. We text this morning and everything seemed to be a go. I had to work this afternoon, but I text him after and he said he had to talk to finish talking to his mom about it first. Basically his mom told him that she was disappointed in him and he was turning out like his dad, who left her. I don't believe it. I think he was just trying to find an excuse and if it wasn't that one, it would be another one. I'm devastated. He keeps telling me she's right and he is like his dad, blah, blah, blah. I don't know where to go from here. I had my whole life planned with him. I'm sorry if I'm rambling. I just need some encouragement from people who have been through what I'm going through. I need to know how to move on. I've never felt this much heartbreak before. I don't know how to continue.
Zippy2000 Posted October 6, 2014 Posted October 6, 2014 What the heck is a OW and MM. Wish people would stop with the abbreviations.
veryhappy Posted October 6, 2014 Posted October 6, 2014 Go no contact now. Actually you can say whatever you have to say, think long about it so you won't be tempted to add to it, and then go no contact. There's nothing to stop the pain, but you'll get through it. Just hang on tight to whatever helps you when things are really tough. The first months i had crying spells where i'd just collapse on the floor or on the nearest wall because i just couldn't help it. Brace yourself.
Back2WhatUKnow Posted October 6, 2014 Posted October 6, 2014 What the heck is a OW and MM. Wish people would stop with the abbreviations. If you have been a member since 2012. I will assume you have not stumbled across the abbreviations thread. Two-it is more so used for protection if people were to do a simple search no one thinks of abbreviations. Three-I don't understand the purpose of complaining a completely different issue on someone who is telling their story. Let's be considerate. MOVING ON-OP I am so sorry this happened to you. For myself similiar instance 4.5 yrs A. Ended it 2 months NC. He kept with the excuses. His mom and dad also split due to an A so she blamed him too for being like him. I would also recommend NC. You need to heal and clearly it will open your eyes. I always go back and wonder why all the excuses. Why do it to myself let him keep sliding. You will get tired of it and you will end it. Keep the fact close that he isn't going to budge. It's been years it is a tough wakeup call but you will see it. 1
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