sgbtra Posted October 5, 2014 Posted October 5, 2014 I've been dating this guy for about 2 months, that was after about 4 months of him chasing me relentlessly I finally felt ready to date him so I agreed. The first month or so was great, he really showed me what I meant to him. He really made an effort in planning dates and making me feel special. As I did with him. Recently though things have dropped off. I often feel like my needs or wants are ignored. He wants to do what he wants to do when we hang out, I make a suggestion but rarely is it ever done. Even when we are intimate, it has to be done when and how it suits him. Last week, I organized a surprise weekend away in a 5 star hotel and I drove us there and back and arranged a whole host of activities for us to do. Tomorrow is my birthday. He arranged an outing for me hot air ballooning which was something I had always wanted to do. The thing is, I had to drive there and home while he slept in the car, he didn't really engage at the ball on flight with me or anyone else and when we got back to my place afterwards he slept for like 4 hrs, then he asked me to massage him, and he slept for an hour after that. When he finally woke up he was on his phone texting his friends constantly. I felt like I was nothing to him. I felt like a piece of furniture. I told him how wonderful the weekend was, but inside I felt like crying. I think he is actually very selfish. He even said to me a few weeks ago, oh I'm feeling so comfortable with us, I don't even think we need to communicate every day anymore. The thing is I'm still well and truly in that honeymoon phase-he obviously isnt and has become comfortable with me. I've obviously given him too much reassurance that he is secure with me and he doesn't have to worry any more. He even goes to the bathroom at my house with the door open now!! This has only been 2 months we are dating. We see each other like twice a week max, and he is already super comfortable and I feel he takes me for granted. Is this all in my mind or does anyone else agree? Has he become complacent around me or is he taking me for granted? My plan is now to make myself unavailable for a short while to see if that reignited his spark and if not as devastating as it is maybe I need to move on. Does anyone else have any ideas? Thanks so much for reading my post. I am asking this question here to see if I've got unrealistic expectations or if I'm just too picky...or if there is something else going on. So I appreciate your advice.
Diezel Posted October 5, 2014 Posted October 5, 2014 Here's an idea: Dump him. Your idea is terrible. You want to reignite a spark? You are seeing him for who he REALLY is. This is two months in, TWO MONTHS!!! Wake up! 2
ExpatInItaly Posted October 5, 2014 Posted October 5, 2014 This is after only two months? It's not going to get better. You're seeing who he really is. Doesn't sound like much of a partner at all. Walk away now; it's not worth the hassle. He's actually told you not to expect much from him; he said he's so comfortable that he doesn't feel the need to communicate every day? Bull. He's either lazy or just not that into you. I think it's a combination of both.
sid3 Posted October 5, 2014 Posted October 5, 2014 Sounds like a jackass that's only going to evolve into a douchebag. Imagine how he'll behave 6 months in. Surely you can do better.
cmonman Posted October 5, 2014 Posted October 5, 2014 Yeah, I hate to say it but it sounds like he is the type of person that thinks showing he cares relates to buying you a nice thing every once in awhile. Maybe just try talking to him about how you feel, explaining how it isn't the same. This is probably his natural state, and realistically he won't change that, BUT if he chased you for FOUR MONTHS I find it hard to believe he wouldn't at least want to have the chance to correct his behavior before you jet out the door, ya know?
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