may_girl Posted October 5, 2014 Posted October 5, 2014 My FWB (I will refer to as AJ) and I started our arrangement in January. For some background, the relationship has been a very rocky one. When we started out I used him and our arrangement to help me get over an ex. During this time, AJ was very full on; he came to visit for weekends (he is currently living away at college), he tried to hold my hand, public displays of affection and the like. As time progressed, I began to develop feelings for AJ, but in the meantime his romantic feelings went away. We had a strict FWB arrangement and he told me he saw me as someone who was always there and thus felt he could use me and didn't feel bad about it. He would cancel plans without telling me, he wouldn't reply to my texts for weeks, etc etc. Because I was hurting, I took a step back from AJ. We discontinued the arrangement for a couple months. We recently agreed to meet up again and see how it goes. I had time to detach myself from him so it worked quite swimmingly - we both got what we wanted from it and it works. However, during the time AJ and I stopped our arrangement, I started seeing someone who I will refer to as Paul. Not long into dating, Paul announced he didn't want anything serious, so we stopped seeing one another. AJ and I then restarted FWB. Recently however, because I don't see AJ very often due to him living away, I considered beginning a separate and additional FWB arrangement with Paul, who expressed quite keenly that he would want that. Before agreeing with Paul, I asked AJ where we stood on things like that- would it be possible for me to have another FWB or not? His response was 'of course'. So Paul and I have begun a separate arrangement. However, recently when trying to make plans with AJ, he keeps slipping things in about Paul as though he wants to find out more about him. For example, we would be arranging to meet next weekend and AJ would say "well surely you can have sex whether you see me or not? :p", or "why don't you arrange to see your other man?". I keep avoiding answering these questions. AJ is quite clearly aware that Paul exists, but that is all. I haven't mentioned anything to AJ other than when I asked him if it was okay for me to have another FWB, to which he agreed. Paul on the other hand also knows of AJs existence but doesn't mention him to me. I am not sure whether AJ is secretly bothered by the fact I am seeing somebody else. Is it a normal thing for people to engage in more than one casual relationship? Maybe AJ wants me to keep stroking his ego? Or is he joking? I just don't want to continue something that may end messily in the future. I have never had more than one FWB at one given time so I am fairly inexperienced with this sort of thing. Thanks all.
Diezel Posted October 5, 2014 Posted October 5, 2014 So how would you honestly feel if you found out that Paul and/or AJ had other FWB's as well?
Author may_girl Posted October 5, 2014 Author Posted October 5, 2014 So how would you honestly feel if you found out that Paul and/or AJ had other FWB's as well? Each of the relationships are explicitly FWB. I know I won't end up dating either of them so they are entitled to do what the want to. As long as they're open with me and protect themselves. I think so as long as additional FWB won't affect what I previously had with the person (I.e. Not seeing them as often, affecting the sex in a bad way) I would be fine to continue the arrangement. 1
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