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Wishing the ex a happy birthday


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Posted

Appears my posting was ruder than I really intended.

 

My apologies. I don't think I have anything of real value I can offer you here. Ultimately I think I've been in your shoes before, wishing that the right written word can change the world, and I haven't been too successful. Hope you're better with it than I've been.

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Posted
Appears my posting was ruder than I really intended.

 

My apologies. I don't think I have anything of real value I can offer you here. Ultimately I think I've been in your shoes before, wishing that the right written word can change the world, and I haven't been too successful. Hope you're better with it than I've been.

 

Don't worry, be happy! The written word can sometimes change the world -- e.g Christianity, Islam -- but more often than not it doesn't change anything. My point was that I want to send the message so I can feel better with myself by behaving above the way I was treated. It's purely an egotistical trip and I have moved on to the point where I need no response. It's all in my head. Nevertheless, thank you for your interest.

 

Cheers again,

 

JF

Posted
Don't worry, be happy! The written word can sometimes change the world -- e.g Christianity, Islam -- but more often than not it doesn't change anything. My point was that I want to send the message so I can feel better with myself by behaving above the way I was treated. It's purely an egotistical trip and I have moved on to the point where I need no response. It's all in my head. Nevertheless, thank you for your interest.

 

Cheers again,

 

JF

 

So the text is completely self-serving at this point? You need our help to make it even more self-serving? You see this now sounds silly. You're correct in saying that the ego trip is in your head. I don't think many people would feel that you are being the bigger person by sending the text. You have basically constructed a scenario in which your sending of a happy birthday text makes you the bigger person than your ex, so you need to send it for yourself.

 

I think that trying to be the bigger person after a breakup, by maintaining contact, is such a misconception that I see on LS. I understand where you are coming from because I felt that way too at one point. Then, I realized that I am no longer obligated to this person, and it's actually more beneficial to my mental health to eradicate them from my life. It's not about being mature or a better person because I prove I can keep contact by sending a meaningless birthday text. It's about preserving my boundaries.

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Posted
Don't worry, be happy! The written word can sometimes change the world -- e.g Christianity, Islam -- but more often than not it doesn't change anything.

 

I think the proposed happy birthday text will fall into the latter category.

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Posted
No, I just want to wish her a happy birthday without any expectations. That's what I feel is the high road. It's more for me than for her.

 

 

 

Then just say "happy birthday". Screw the big production.

  • Like 2
Posted
No, I just want to wish her a happy birthday without any expectations. That's what I feel is the high road. It's more for me than for her.

 

Then why would you need us to coach you? Why wouldn't you just say "happy birthday" and get it over with? Why are you trying to project a certain mood?

Posted

Does she wish you happy birthdays? If not don't do it. You need to ask yourself why you want to text her this. If you were close you could call.

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Posted

The deed is done; thank you all for your input.

 

:-)

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