Jame22 Posted October 12, 2014 Posted October 12, 2014 Well today is Tuesday. Not quite midweek I guess, but there had been no contact since Saturday so it felt right to send her a text today and I'm pleased to say I got a positive response I guess the response confirms she likes me, so I'm pretty pleased at this stage. I won't be blowing up her phone or anything, I'll let her get on with her holiday. I'll certainly be aiming for date 2 with her though that's for sure! Keep dating though. Until she's ready to commit don't make her your only option. She needs to know that you have options. Always good too have a backup plan.
Jame22 Posted October 12, 2014 Posted October 12, 2014 Well today is Tuesday. Not quite midweek I guess, but there had been no contact since Saturday so it felt right to send her a text today and I'm pleased to say I got a positive response I guess the response confirms she likes me, so I'm pretty pleased at this stage. I won't be blowing up her phone or anything, I'll let her get on with her holiday. I'll certainly be aiming for date 2 with her though that's for sure! Keep dating. She needs to know that you have options. Always good too have a backup plan.
Author True Gent Posted October 12, 2014 Author Posted October 12, 2014 Really? What did she say? Just carry on, I dig your overall approach (WRT dating in general). She just text me to say she got back safe and had picked her cat up from the cattery. She then went on to say that she'd been thinking about things and sees me as a friend, "I hope you understand". True gent this is classic game. The mid week text was perfect but did you seem to eager in the text?? You simply needed to let her know you are thinking about her in that way and want to set up a date when she gets back. If you came across too nice it could be the reason and you do not care about her holiday it has nothing to do with you, as all you want is her. A holiday right after a date is a crappy situation to be in. Whatever you do at this point do not reply to her text bout you being friends otherwise you feed into her hands. You want to show her you are not bothered and it's her loss. I cannot tell you how many times a girl thinks she has better options then after a week you hear from her and she is interested again. Do not reply to her text mark my words. I don't think I was too eager, it was very basic communication just to keep the interest going. A week away right after the first date is lousy timing. She did initiate communication subsequent to my first text and she was very positive the whole time. Until Thursday when I happened to mention it would be great to meet up again if she's free after her return. It was after that she went silent and today I got the 'friend' text. I have already replied to her text and said that I'm pleased she got home safe, but I'm not looking for friendship. I then said I'll leave you to get on with things I won't be in touch anymore. I'd rather just be honest and say it like it is. If she isn't interested then fine, just don't give the impression you're interested in someone if you aren't I say. I've made my intentions clear and if she isn't interested in dating me that's ok, I'm not interested in being her friend. Which lets face it is just a polite brush off anyway, she doesn't want to be friends any more than I do.
Author True Gent Posted October 12, 2014 Author Posted October 12, 2014 Keep dating. She needs to know that you have options. Always good too have a backup plan. I've been out with 3 women in the last week. It's a Pitty she was the only one I liked.
Dallers Posted October 12, 2014 Posted October 12, 2014 (edited) She just text me to say she got back safe and had picked her cat up from the cattery. She then went on to say that she'd been thinking about things and sees me as a friend, "I hope you understand". I don't think I was too eager, it was very basic communication just to keep the interest going. A week away right after the first date is lousy timing. She did initiate communication subsequent to my first text and she was very positive the whole time. Until Thursday when I happened to mention it would be great to meet up again if she's free after her return. It was after that she went silent and today I got the 'friend' text. I have already replied to her text and said that I'm pleased she got home safe, but I'm not looking for friendship. I then said I'll leave you to get on with things I won't be in touch anymore. I'd rather just be honest and say it like it is. If she isn't interested then fine, just don't give the impression you're interested in someone if you aren't I say. I've made my intentions clear and if she isn't interested in dating me that's ok, I'm not interested in being her friend. Which lets face it is just a polite brush off anyway, she doesn't want to be friends any more than I do. The problem is by replying you are closing. You will learn this and although you say you want to be honest you know that you actually want to go out with her. Game requires you to play or be played. By closing you have eliminated any chance of it going anywhere and given her what she wants. It is childish in a way but it works. If you had ignored her message you would have heard from her again, maybe you will but at this point it is doubtful. She is putting you in the nice category by friend zoning you and you need to show her by ignoring her that you are not a nice guy. The aim of the game is also to not show that what she is doing gets to you. You have your own life and do not care or show emotion. Also I know you are a true gent but after she told you that she wanted to be friends she was attaching a label to you which read "Nice Guy" you then went back to her and confirmed that by saying you are glad she got home safely..... too nice. You are also showing a lot of interest in her holiday which to be honest is just a pain in the ass for you so why do you care? See what I mean. Like you say she does not want to be friends any more than you do. But you still went back and responded to the mention of it. In any case she would probably be more hassle than she is worth. But in future always leave on the upper hand. 10 dates is a lot to have had with no progress, try to become more what a woman wants. Less nice is a start and then add to it manly features such as not being a push over, not showing too much attention and brushing off emotion. Do not be the nice guy he always finishes last. Edited October 13, 2014 by Dallers
Cristo Posted October 13, 2014 Posted October 13, 2014 True gent this is classic game. The mid week text was perfect but did you seem to eager in the text?? You simply needed to let her know you are thinking about her in that way and want to set up a date when she gets back. If you came across too nice it could be the reason and you do not care about her holiday it has nothing to do with you, as all you want is her. A holiday right after a date is a crappy situation to be in. Whatever you do at this point do not reply to her text bout you being friends otherwise you feed into her hands. You want to show her you are not bothered and it's her loss. I cannot tell you how many times a girl thinks she has better options then after a week you hear from her and she is interested again. Do not reply to her text mark my words. Nah too much work. If he has to watch himself that much and she'll friendzone him over being too eager in the text, then she wasn't really into him to begin with. More likely, he was the backup plan and her first choice came around.
Author True Gent Posted October 13, 2014 Author Posted October 13, 2014 (edited) The problem is by replying you are closing. You will learn this and although you say you want to be honest you know that you actually want to go out with her. Game requires you to play or be played. By closing you have eliminated any chance of it going anywhere and given her what she wants. It is childish in a way but it works. If you had ignored her message you would have heard from her again, maybe you will but at this point it is doubtful. She is putting you in the nice category by friend zoning you and you need to show her by ignoring her that you are not a nice guy. The aim of the game is also to not show that what she is doing gets to you. You have your own life and do not care or show emotion. Also I know you are a true gent but after she told you that she wanted to be friends she was attaching a label to you which read "Nice Guy" you then went back to her and confirmed that by saying you are glad she got home safely..... too nice. You are also showing a lot of interest in her holiday which to be honest is just a pain in the ass for you so why do you care? See what I mean. Like you say she does not want to be friends any more than you do. But you still went back and responded to the mention of it. In any case she would probably be more hassle than she is worth. But in future always leave on the upper hand. 10 dates is a lot to have had with no progress, try to become more what a woman wants. Less nice is a start and then add to it manly features such as not being a push over, not showing too much attention and brushing off emotion. Do not be the nice guy he always finishes last. I understand your point and it is certainly food for thought. I do think that if dating requires that much psychological manipulation then it ain't for me. I'm one year out of a 9 year relationship, yeah I'm rusty. I don't do games I'm just who I am, if I'm too nice then it's a pretty sad world. If these women want something I'm not then they don't want me. If I did become accomplished in understanding these games how long would I have to keep it up to sustain a relationship with someone before my real self is shown? If what you're saying is true then I'm probably ****ed. Incidentally out of the 10 women in total I've only really liked 2 of them. So 8 of them were never going to go anywhere regardless. Edited October 13, 2014 by True Gent 1
Stsm5934 Posted October 13, 2014 Posted October 13, 2014 I think sending her nice text and being honest is fine. Chances are ignoring her isn't really going to change much of anything, honestly if I was her and a guy I wasn't interested in me ignored my text, it would just relieve me to not have to keep up communication. If she's not interested, she certainly isn't going to be interested in playing games. In general, I totally get the dynamic of not wanting to be games and I don't think you have to conceive of it in that way. It's not so much about playing games as it is maintaining the image of yourself that is independent, confident and has a life outside of the date you just went on. It's a turn-off when a guy is too available, not because he is too available but it probably indicates there isn't quite enough going on his life. Most people aren't looking to date a push-over and even if your not, sometimes guys try to be overly nice and come off that way. Just be regular nice. 2
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