True Gent Posted October 5, 2014 Posted October 5, 2014 Hi Guys, I'm looking for a little advice on how to handle things after what I think was a great first date. I wouldn't normally be too fussed so early on, but I've had a few good first dates which came to nothing at all. This time I really do feel an attraction and would definitely like to see her again, to say she has left an impression on me is an understatement lol. Anyway I think it was a successful date as it lasted 4 hours, free flowing conversation lots of smiles, giggles and similarities between us. She gave me compliments, I noticed she played with her hair a hell of a lot during the date and we both lost track of time. Both at the start and end of the date she went in for a kiss on the cheeck and I gave her a gentle squeeze on our hug goodbye. I made it clear I'd like to meet up again and she agreed, but I've learned that what people say and mean are two different things. She text me that she got home safe and thanked me for a great night. I responded and said I had a great a night too and it would be great to catch up when she returns from the weeks holiday she is literally just going on. So my dilemma is she is away on a weeks holiday with family right after our first date. I am keen to see her again, but I also don't want to come across as too keen/clingy/needy or whatever. I don't know what/when the next stage of communication should be? Would it be acceptable to drop her a casual text to ask how her week away is going some time during the week? Or would it be best to wait until I know she's returned and just get straight on with asking her out again? I'd appreciate your input guys thanks
LoneIsland Posted October 5, 2014 Posted October 5, 2014 Holding back works better, or you risk being seen as a playa.
Author True Gent Posted October 5, 2014 Author Posted October 5, 2014 You really think so? I'd love to hear more opinions too, if anyone has something...
todreaminblue Posted October 5, 2014 Posted October 5, 2014 if you feel like dropping her a text do so.....theres nothing at all clingy or needy about asking someone how their week is going......best wishes....deb 3
Versacehottie Posted October 5, 2014 Posted October 5, 2014 Listen if she likes you already, it won't matter if you ask right away. If she is on the fence well that's when holding back would be good. In fact, if you want to assume she likes you, well why wait and create a seed of doubt about your intentions. The only thing that complicates it is the family vacation. I could understand if a guy did either of your proposed actions. But like I said, if I liked him already, I would appreciate hearing from him. It keeps momentum going. And I wouldn't hold it against him if he gave space because I was on a family vacation. Family vacations tend to be way more tame than friends vacation so a text from a guy I like would be a welcome intrusion and not clingy in my opinion. Here's another tip. On a good first date, mention things you want to do together in near future. It's natural and confident. Actually a guy that was that confident would impress me about that part, even if I didn't like him for other reasons. I think why not think positively on any first date that things will progress--therefore perfectly normal to suggest. It will only help with a girl you want to go forward with and with those that you don't or don't reciprocate, who cares, since you won't see them again. Good luck. 1
Omei Posted October 5, 2014 Posted October 5, 2014 When a guy takes interest in how we are doing its a clear sign we are liked until proven otherwise. I say do the mid week text. I think most girls by the end of the week would by then have questioned if he was still interested in their head. 7
Author True Gent Posted October 5, 2014 Author Posted October 5, 2014 Thanks for your input so far guys. I am assuming she likes me as much as I like her, there were quite a few signs that she did. I'd guess I'd just like to just keep myself in her mind for when she gets back home. So I'm thinking perhaps just a text midweek to ask her how the place is and how she's getting on can't do any harm if the feelings are mutual. If things didn't go as well as I'd thought, then I guess it's not going to make much differnce and won't do any harm anyway right? 2
Versacehottie Posted October 6, 2014 Posted October 6, 2014 plus if a girl was gonna next you just because you sent a "how's it going" text, would you really want to be with her anyway? That would be too harsh. I would definitely take it a step further and say something to the effect of "how's it going, what does you week look like when you get back bc I'd love to take you out again". Better worded but hopefully you get the idea. 4
Assasda Posted October 6, 2014 Posted October 6, 2014 Do not send any "How are you?" texts Please dont. Those texts are only for people that have been seeing each other for a long while. If you really want to text her, text her something interesting that you've done that she might be interested in, or something that she talked about that she might be interested in. Like "Hey IYou mentioned you like sewing, can you believe that there is a speed sewing contest in my town" or something like that Please again, no "How are you?" texts or "What are you up to?" for that matter 2
lillyz Posted October 6, 2014 Posted October 6, 2014 DEFINITELY send her a text after a few days (she may think you lost interest otherwise...); definitely keep it light. I once started dating a guy about two years ago, and the almost exact situation happened where I went on a trip with family shortly after. He knew my family would get on my nerves from time to time, so he joked and sent a text something along the lines of, 'Getting any good time away from your family on vacay? ' Something like that. She'll probably appreciate it. Keep it light and short. It just lets her know you are thinking of her. Humor is always great. When she gets back, that's a great time to ask her out again. Best wishes. :-) 1
Author True Gent Posted October 6, 2014 Author Posted October 6, 2014 Thanks a lot everyone, I appreciate your opinions. I know it's pretty basic really, but I've had a few mixed experiences with dating lately, I really liked this Girl and don't want to mess anything up. I'll send her a text mid week, I'll keep it light, relevant and fun Thanks guys, I'll let you know how it goes!
ComingInHot Posted October 6, 2014 Posted October 6, 2014 I swear I just answered this but on a different thread * Just happened to me * Was asked out. Had great time. He called next day. Restated had great time. Asked me out again. No games. No second guessing. No self doubting . Awesome! Save the guessing games for Christmas and wrapped gifts under the tree. CIH* 3
BluEyeL Posted October 6, 2014 Posted October 6, 2014 Arrange the next date at the end of the current one. Date, time, place. Or call next day and ask her out. Don't text, calling is better.
Author True Gent Posted October 7, 2014 Author Posted October 7, 2014 Well today is Tuesday. Not quite midweek I guess, but there had been no contact since Saturday so it felt right to send her a text today and I'm pleased to say I got a positive response I guess the response confirms she likes me, so I'm pretty pleased at this stage. I won't be blowing up her phone or anything, I'll let her get on with her holiday. I'll certainly be aiming for date 2 with her though that's for sure!
Redhead14 Posted October 7, 2014 Posted October 7, 2014 Well today is Tuesday. Not quite midweek I guess, but there had been no contact since Saturday so it felt right to send her a text today and I'm pleased to say I got a positive response I guess the response confirms she likes me, so I'm pretty pleased at this stage. I won't be blowing up her phone or anything, I'll let her get on with her holiday. I'll certainly be aiming for date 2 with her though that's for sure! Set it up shortly before she returns. Ask her a day or two before she's getting ready to leave. She will have something to look forward to upon her return. 1
Author True Gent Posted October 7, 2014 Author Posted October 7, 2014 Set it up shortly before she returns. Ask her a day or two before she's getting ready to leave. She will have something to look forward to upon her return. I was thinking along those lines!
Author True Gent Posted October 7, 2014 Author Posted October 7, 2014 Cheers True Gent. Nicely done* Thanks, but I've gotta say you guys are a big help for a second opinion!
Author True Gent Posted October 12, 2014 Author Posted October 12, 2014 Okay now I'm confused. During the week a few light texts went back and forth, she initiated some of them. So I gathered all was going well. Then the day before she is due to get ready to return home from the holiday I suggest that if she's free after she gets home we could arrange to meet up again. That was Thursday and I've heard nothing back since. She should be back now and I'm unsure what to think. It seemed to be going well I find it strange she has just went quiet. Should I just ask if she got back ok and is she interested in scheduling another date? Maybe she didn't get my last message? Opinons guys??
umirano Posted October 12, 2014 Posted October 12, 2014 I say relax. I just got a text from a girl that I wrote off yesterday. Sometimes they can really just crawl a long. It's nerve wrecking, I know, but make time your ally. Let her settle in, text her Monday or Tuesday. Or maybe it's better to call her?
chimpanA-2-chimpanZ Posted October 12, 2014 Posted October 12, 2014 Don't call. She has your number and is apparently comfortable initiating conversation if she wants to. If she really wants to see you she'll be sending you texts with animal emoji (that's what kids do these days, right?) in no time.
Author True Gent Posted October 12, 2014 Author Posted October 12, 2014 Well I got a text, she has been thinking and apparently only sees me as a friend. I think she has given me mixed signals, but hey ho! So yet another one to mark up to experience. 13 dates with 10 women this year, it's getting tedious...
umirano Posted October 12, 2014 Posted October 12, 2014 Well I got a text, she has been thinking and apparently only sees me as a friend. Really? What did she say? Just carry on, I dig your overall approach (WRT dating in general).
Dallers Posted October 12, 2014 Posted October 12, 2014 True gent this is classic game. The mid week text was perfect but did you seem to eager in the text?? You simply needed to let her know you are thinking about her in that way and want to set up a date when she gets back. If you came across too nice it could be the reason and you do not care about her holiday it has nothing to do with you, as all you want is her. A holiday right after a date is a crappy situation to be in. Whatever you do at this point do not reply to her text bout you being friends otherwise you feed into her hands. You want to show her you are not bothered and it's her loss. I cannot tell you how many times a girl thinks she has better options then after a week you hear from her and she is interested again. Do not reply to her text mark my words.
Recommended Posts