Hollywood-Tourist Posted October 5, 2014 Posted October 5, 2014 I'm slowly beginning to get myself back to normal after my fiancé ended things with me & broke my heart, but I have found myself lusting after a waitress who I've always fancied at my local restaurant. At my local restaurant there's this really nice looking waitress who I think is in her mid to late 40s who's worked there for years. She knows my face from going in there but I really fancy her & wanted to ask her out but how could I do this without directly saying to her? I don't want to seem creepy by saying that to her flat out and would I get in trouble if I asked her out? Do you think she would even be interested in me if I'm a tall 6ft 26yr old guy who is very mature for his age?
Author Hollywood-Tourist Posted October 5, 2014 Author Posted October 5, 2014 I'm also fairly shy so this may make it more difficult.
LoneIsland Posted October 5, 2014 Posted October 5, 2014 You don't even know if she's single. Good lookers are usually taken.
Author Hollywood-Tourist Posted October 5, 2014 Author Posted October 5, 2014 You don't even know if she's single. Good lookers are usually taken. That's true. Maybe I should look for a wedding band on her finger first of all.
LoneIsland Posted October 5, 2014 Posted October 5, 2014 Even if not married, the good lookers usually have a partner. For a waitress, the money can't be that good, and more than likely she would need and should have a partner who shares the burden of living costs. It would be a necessity. But there's no way to know for sure until you ask her. So your first step is not to ask her out but to find out if she is available. 1
sid3 Posted October 5, 2014 Posted October 5, 2014 I really fancy her & wanted to ask her out but how could I do this without directly saying to hear? Find the answer to that and I'm sure you'll be among the richest in the world. Basically you're asking how to avoid taking a risk to achieve what you want.
oberkeat Posted October 5, 2014 Posted October 5, 2014 Don't ask out waitresses. She is the server, and you are the customer. It's a transactional relationship with an inherent power imbalance. Not a good springboard for a relationship. 1
LuckyLady13 Posted October 5, 2014 Posted October 5, 2014 In all honesty, yuck! Don't do this. When I was a bartender, every guy coming in thought he was the only one who asked me out. He was at the end of a long line! But for some reason they didn't know that by themselves... The longer I dealt with it, the more creepy the guys were coming across, the more mundane the whole thing was and I got so tired of it. A friend who was also a bartender would waitress at a diner for a second income. She had the exact same situation at the diner that we had at the bar. She told me about guy after guy after guy after guy who would ask her out while she was at work. I think her head nearly exploded. I'd bet you money 5 guys asked her out at work this week. And what makes this so wrong is she is at work and you are a customer. You are not friends and did not meet at a social event. She's there to work, make money to pay her bills and when she wants to meet people she does social things after work. Don't bother waitresses or bartenders at work. If you want to meet women, go to places where they are trying to meet men and not places they are doing their job. If you ask her out while she's at work, you're going to look like a socially inept creepy guy with NO CLUE and she's going to turn you down. 1
quidproquo89 Posted October 5, 2014 Posted October 5, 2014 build rapport with her by making good convo everytime you go in. Eventually when your comfortable with each other you can casually and nicely ask. If she says know act like it doesn't bother you and just say ok cool, no problem. No.1 don't make anything awkward as you'll want to eat there again. You wont know unless you try 2
Omei Posted October 5, 2014 Posted October 5, 2014 No she won't get into trouble. I Think you should flat out ask her so you can get a answer and just have that curiosity fullfilled so you can move onto whatever is next. 1
Omei Posted October 5, 2014 Posted October 5, 2014 (edited) In all honesty, yuck! Don't do this. When I was a bartender, every guy coming in thought he was the only one who asked me out. He was at the end of a long line! But for some reason they didn't know that by themselves... The longer I dealt with it, the more creepy the guys were coming across, the more mundane the whole thing was and I got so tired of it. A friend who was also a bartender would waitress at a diner for a second income. She had the exact same situation at the diner that we had at the bar. She told me about guy after guy after guy after guy who would ask her out while she was at work. I think her head nearly exploded. I'd bet you money 5 guys asked her out at work this week. And what makes this so wrong is she is at work and you are a customer. You are not friends and did not meet at a social event. She's there to work, make money to pay her bills and when she wants to meet people she does social things after work. Don't bother waitresses or bartenders at work. If you want to meet women, go to places where they are trying to meet men and not places they are doing their job. If you ask her out while she's at work, you're going to look like a socially inept creepy guy with NO CLUE and she's going to turn you down. But how you felt and your ideals may not be hers. Woman totally have the ability to put out approachable energy and non approachable energy and I assure you if you didnt put it out there most men Q in and leave you alone. Edited October 5, 2014 by Omei 1
Author Hollywood-Tourist Posted October 5, 2014 Author Posted October 5, 2014 Thanks for all your advice guys. Although I am really nervous about this, I will do it because I won't know what she says either way if I don't ask. Nothing ventured nothing gained. If I'm honest I don't think she is the sort of woman to get actively asked out, she is a bit of a plain looking woman but there's something sexual about her to me but not may be like that to everyone. She is definitely in her 40s & I will check for a wedding band on her before flirting. 1
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