GinaCB Posted October 5, 2014 Posted October 5, 2014 Me and this guy have been involved for 2 months. He seems like such a caring genuine guy, our convos usually consist of bettering ourselves and our futures. He always seems like he wants the best for me. He even calls me pet names like "baby" and when referring to me he'll say "my girl. But I haven't seen him in a MONTH. We live in the same city I do work sometimes (flight attendant) but I'm in the city at least twice every week and available. His first excuse was " I'm Tryna focus on getting my life together and getting a better job cause I like to have money when I'm with someone" I tried to understand that and accept that but I'm not comfortable with it at all. His most recent excuse is "you're always working". I really like this guy a lot hes so laid back and calm he's nothing like what I've dealt with in the past but the fact that I haven't seen him is a big problem and I expressed that to him numerous times. He seems so into me and really seems to care about me and like me. I just don't get why he won't see me. The situation aggravates me and I guess my aggravation and me letting it show makes me look "bitter". I'm ready to give up on him I can't wait forever.
zen2475 Posted October 5, 2014 Posted October 5, 2014 I'm sorry to say that if he was that into you, you would know it. Calling you affectionate names is just words. Pay attention to his actions. His actions are that he's not making the effort to see you. I would suggest pulling way back and see what he does. He may step up to the plate, but you never know. Right now you seem to be investing a lot of emotional energy into someone who appears to only be making you an option. I would start considering my own options elsewhere. 1
Author GinaCB Posted October 5, 2014 Author Posted October 5, 2014 I'm sorry to say that if he was that into you, you would know it. Calling you affectionate names is just words. Pay attention to his actions. His actions are that he's not making the effort to see you. I would suggest pulling way back and see what he does. He may step up to the plate, but you never know. Right now you seem to be investing a lot of emotional energy into someone who appears to only be making you an option. I would start considering my own options elsewhere. Yeah I agree that it is time to pull back, I always feel so uncertain with him and as much as I may like him im not feeling this at all. I'm going to move forward. Thank you for the good advice.
Diezel Posted October 5, 2014 Posted October 5, 2014 How is he "so into you" when you haven't seen him in a month?
mammasita Posted October 5, 2014 Posted October 5, 2014 Have you tried to initiate a meetup or are you waiting for him? I'd say before you kick him to the curb give him one chance to accept an invitation from you to hang out if you haven't stepped up and done so already......which is probably pointless since his interest level is unfortunately very low to begin with. Someone interested will make time no matter what.
Assasda Posted October 5, 2014 Posted October 5, 2014 Is it because of your working situation why he hasnt seen you in a month. Do you guys talk on the phone a lot? Sounds like this guy has confidence issues, because of his job. So he's trying to focus on getting himself right first, before going with you
ExpatInItaly Posted October 5, 2014 Posted October 5, 2014 From an outside standpoint, I don't understand how he seems so into you. I don't think he is. A month is far too long to go without seeing someone you're interested in. Ask him to meet on a specific day. If he declines or is wishy-washy, I think you have your answer. He either doesn't feel it with you so much any more, or he's got other options.
writergal Posted October 5, 2014 Posted October 5, 2014 But I haven't seen him in a MONTH. We live in the same city I do work sometimes (flight attendant) but I'm in the city at least twice every week and available. His first excuse was " I'm Tryna focus on getting my life together and getting a better job cause I like to have money when I'm with someone" I tried to understand that and accept that but I'm not comfortable with it at all. His most recent excuse is "you're always working". . This paragraph speaks volumes. He can't commit to you b/c his first priority is finding a full-time job and get his life together, because it's important to him to have money for a relationship with a woman (which makes sense). Then you admit that you're not comfortable being an option with this fellow (and I don't blame you b/c a woman should be a priority to the man she's dating). However, your job as a flight attendant makes it impossible for him to see you except for the two days you're in his city, due to your work schedule. So maybe that plays a part too. I think neither of you are on the same page, unfortunately. It's a matter of bad timing. He wants to find a job, so his attention's focused there; you have a job and want/need his attention focused on you. I think the only way you two could make this work is if he makes more of an effort to stay in touch, and you lower your expectations and give him a break if he's unemployed trying to find a job. When you're in his city next time, let him know a couple of days in advance and give him a specific venue and specific time to meetup with you. If he does - great, go from there. Use it as an opportunity to talk about what you'd like from your connection with him. You may have to be the one who schedules the dates if he's not that type of guy. Some guys leave it to the woman to do all the planning. But if he declines your invite, well then there you go, he has too much on his plate right now to fit in a relationship with a woman. 2
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