Trying to Handle a Difficult Partner, Stressed Out to the Max...

[cottom]

Been with this girl over a month now, she is cold, unaffectionate and distant.

 

Ive had relationships before, loving, caring, affectionate, PDA types. She is a lot younger (18, i'm 22) and has just been **** buddies with guys in the past.

 

 

I work/live away during the week and come home on a friday night until monday morning. Past gf's who i stayed with for up to 2 years, we would make the most of the time i was home and spend the whole weekend together, go out together, sit in watch films all day in bed together, cook, eat, sleep etc. But this one, i get home and its more "meh, hes home, he can pop over and see me"

 

I just feel used, she sees me when she needs something, a favour etc or she will see me if it is convenient to her.

 

For example;

I came home friday night, she finished work stopped at mine, she came here at 9:30 (12-8pm shift) and just sat on the other side of the sofa while watching tv and wasnt in the mood to "touch" not even a hug etc cause she was tired, then at 10:15 we went to bed, she woke up and went straight to work for a 9-4pm shift. I got a little kiss goodbye thats the most we touched all night.

 

Through the day (the whole relationship) she never texts, its a one word answer to whatever i say, i ever ask her if she wants something or to do something i get "im not bothered, or i dont know". She never initiates a conversation with me, if i dont bother we will go a whole day without texting.

 

Last week we made plans, she was going out with her mom and her moms friends the saturday night but she didnt want to so she would ditch thewm about 10 and then i would come see her. Then when i told her i had to go back up to work Sunday night she was like "oh so i wont see you this weekend" then when i asked what happened to the plans of me seeing you tonight? she blanked it.

 

At around 7:30 she calls me and says "if i cant see you tomorrow come see me now?" i agree and then she says "oh can you bring your hairspray im out" so basically see me for 15 mins befor she goes to bring her hairspray. I get to hers and the first thing she asks is "what you doing tonight?" Im thinking oh maybe she is going to see me then, so i tell her nothing she goes "oh in that case can you drop me into town with mom and all her mates".

 

In the car she says "you should come out later, get changed ill text you in a bit when to come out".

 

3 hours later im changed, im waiting for a text. 2 different groups of mates wanted me to 1 go clubbing with them and the other come his house for a housewarming party, i turn them down thinking i have other plans but she doesnt text at all, then i found out shed text another gay guy mate of hers to come out and meet her while im sat at home waiting for her.

 

Now im pissed off over that and she has gone off on one shouting about how we dont always have to see each other etc.

 

I cant take this uncaring attitude anymore this morning she wanted to pop round to see me, then asks for me to get my spare phone charging wire cause hers is broken. So she only sees me when its convenient, its just depressing me ive came from a relationship that i was so in love but found out the girl was cheating whenever i left home to work away for the week.

[cottom]

Sorry for the long message but i'm just tearing my hair out here i cant take anymore of this when i wanted a girl that wants to see me, looks forward to seeing me, wants to spend time and we can sit cuddle up on the sofa, go eat, talk about different ****, always want to talk to me etc.

 

But if i do get a girl like that she wont like me being away 5/7 days a week and then start to cheat like the last one.

 

I can't take any more **** really, i battle depression as it is and nobody helps at all.

[acrosstheuniverse]

What exactly are you getting out of this relationship? She doesn't sound very interesting, engaging or even interested in you. You have literally nothing to lose by leaving her and moving on. I wouldn't be impressed with a boyfriend that was so blase about seeing me, or who told me to meet him out for drinks and then didn't get in touch at all.

 

Not all girls will cheat because you're away working lots of the time. Women with integrity won't, however long you're away. Don't sell yourself short settling for any old relationship with somebody like your current girlfriend just because you're afraid a better partner might cheat.

[cottom]

Its not that she is blase about being with me, its the type of person she has been built into by just having guys use her for sex and then ditch her, she doesnt do convos with anyone, not even her friends.

 

We have our days out and we talk, we have good conversations etc but the first few weeks of the relationship i was living back home and we saw each other every night but since moving away she is just distant. I dont know if im noticing it more that im away but it is lonely working away by myself and i want someone more happy.

 

Can girls change over time as you show them affection. Her parents are in an unloving relationship, they sleep in different rooms and the moms 50+ and goes out clubbing all the time thinking shes 20 again and the dad drinks himself to sleep every night. I dont want to end up like them.

[Darkray117]

You're as cold as ice, you're willing to sacrifice our love. If you want more intimacy and warmth, I'd say find it somewhere else. You shouldn't try to change people into something they are not. Don't look at people like a project you are working on.

 

If you like her for who she is, stay with her, if not, someone else would.

[veggirl]

You've only been dating a month and you already have a long list of complaints. Move on. She's not the girl for you. This is not how good relationships start. ffs she's bitter and jaded at only eighteen? no she's not likely to "get with it" anytime soon, she's probably got many fked up years ahead of her before that happens. Maybe she has someone on the side @ home too. Regardless, this isn't right, break up.

[Diezel]

Been with this girl over a month now, she is cold, unaffectionate and distant.

 

Dump her.

 

You aren't getting laid, you aren't getting any positives out of this, she's not worth it. Stop subjecting yourself to this.

 

Dump her.