Rubyredslippers Posted October 5, 2014 Posted October 5, 2014 Hi, I'm new here and seeking much needed support. I was in a relationship that lasted 14 months until the beginning of September. The relationship wasn't without its problems. We split up and got back together a few times. When we were together we got on brilliantly. We connected on every level, but he worked away and it caused problems. Anyway, he decided he'd had enough, the bad times outweighed the good and he left. He wanted to stay friends and we have been communicating. He's now to me he's met someone else and I'm devastated. How can you love someone so much one day and move on to a new relationship soon after. I appreciate he's detached himself from me somewhat but only a couple of days ago he was saying he was upset because He thought id found someone. So was all that a load of rubbish and a cover story? When we were together he was attentive, loving and it showed he loved me but I guess time takes its toll and you just have had enough. I have decided to cut all contact or I'll never move on. But I'm currently laid in bed and I don't know how I'm going to get through the next 24 hours let alone any time after that. Anyone got any tips? And how likely is it he's in a rebound relationship?
chimpanA-2-chimpanZ Posted October 5, 2014 Posted October 5, 2014 Hi Ruby, With multiple breakups in just 14 months, it sounds like things were consistently rocky with you two. I am sorry for your pain but a truly fulfilling relationship doesn't go on and off so many times. You deserve someone who wants to be with you, period, and who will make the circumstances work. I guarantee you those men are out there somewhere. While it's possible he's in a "rebound relationship", "rebounds" are generally for the one who gets dumped, not the dumper. The dumper is already detaching himself and moving on even before the actual breakup. So he may have found this person while you were together but he was single in his own mind. He may have been upset about your potential new relationship simply because he's an arrogant jerk. Lots of men want to think that women will be totally crushed over them. If you move on quickly it's a blow to his ego. Don't worry about the future. Worry about these next 24 hours. I recommend a bubble bath and Netflix. Talk to your friends, whether it's Gchat or Skype or just the phone. Have at least one girlfriend over to hug it out. Browse random sections on Craigslist and get in anonymous flame wars. If you can't get to the grocery store, get the healthiest food you can find delivered to your place---as much as junk food can seem comforting, if you eat like crap you'll feel like crap (and that's the last thing you need right now). Maybe indulge a little but some good food will go a long way. Oh, and you're going to be fine. I promise.
Author Rubyredslippers Posted October 5, 2014 Author Posted October 5, 2014 Thank you Chimpan. I know what you're saying, but when you feel like you had a connection with someone and then it's all gone, it's kind of hard to accept. I will take your tips on board and hopefully it will get easier as each day goes by. One thing I will say though is although I have been very tempted to text him, I have refrained so far!
Haerts Posted October 5, 2014 Posted October 5, 2014 He broke up with you and worst, he's with someone else now. There's nothing you can do about it other than try to get over him. And you'll do it! It's hard, I know, when we love someone but things just doesn't seem to work. But at least see it like: he realized it wasn't working and decided it would be best to break up now, rather than keep something that wasn't making him happy. That happens. I had to break up with my ex 2 days ago because the things he was doing weren't making me happy at all. I still like him so much, I wish we could stay together, but it's not working and it's been weeks that I haven't gone a day without thinking of breaking up (in a 2 months relationship! talk about incompatibility!). Accept that he's into something new now and give yourself time to heal and move on. Everything will eventually become okay, don't worry. Live a day at a time and try to entertain yourself as much as possible. Avoid contacting, seeing his FB or any other social medias; that would only keep him even longer in your head.
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